Twenty Two Years And Counting.
ChatterBank1 min ago
Are you dieting?
There's a new garlic diet going around. You don't lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance.
Man to clerk in DVD store: "I'd like to exchange this diet-and-workout DVD for one of self-acceptance."
The doctor told Uncle Fudd that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, Uncle Fudd called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?", asked the doctor.
"I'm 1,500 miles from home."
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his feet.
I've been trying to get in shape doing 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze alarm so many times.
Can't Eat:
Can't eat beef................mad cow
can’t eat chicken.............bird flu
can’t eat eggs................cholesterol
can’t eat pork.................bacteria
can’t eat fish..................mercury
can’t eat fruit ................insecticides
can’t eat vegetables.........herbicides
Now, the way I see it; that only leaves
CHOCOLATE
Man to clerk in DVD store: "I'd like to exchange this diet-and-workout DVD for one of self-acceptance."
The doctor told Uncle Fudd that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, Uncle Fudd called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?", asked the doctor.
"I'm 1,500 miles from home."
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his feet.
I've been trying to get in shape doing 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze alarm so many times.
Can't Eat:
Can't eat beef................mad cow
can’t eat chicken.............bird flu
can’t eat eggs................cholesterol
can’t eat pork.................bacteria
can’t eat fish..................mercury
can’t eat fruit ................insecticides
can’t eat vegetables.........herbicides
Now, the way I see it; that only leaves
CHOCOLATE
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