If You Could Live In Another Decade,...
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Go on, tell me one??!
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Excellent jokes everyone!!!
God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"
Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."
God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."
Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"
God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
My two fav comics (I love em, most people hate em!):
2 tourist driving throu Wales. At Llanhyfryddawellilihynafolybaarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole, thet stopped for lunch & one tourist asked the waitress, "before we order , could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are.... very slowly? The blonde waitress leaned over & said..... Burr- gurr- king!!!!.......
Every night, little Jimmy says his prayers before going to sleep.
"God bless Mummy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Uncle."
Jimmy's mother is shocked to hear this, and as a result, the next day she learns that Jimmy's uncle has had a heart attack and died.
The following night, Jimmy says his prayers again.
"God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, and goodbye Granddad."
Sure enough, the next day, poor Jimmy's grandfather dies in a car crash.
That night...
"God bless Mummy, and goodbye Daddy."
Everyone is appalled and the next day Jimmy's father come shome from work in one piece...
"How was your day honey?" asks his wife.
"Terrible, I've been taking so much care with everything - when I cross a road, when I handle staplers, when I pour hot water...it's been hell trying to avoid dying! How about your day dear?"
"Awful! I opened the door to let the milkman in and he just dropped down dead!"
