have you ever...

[nailit]

got your life back together again after thinking that its all over and you got no future?
I need some positive stories of overcoming adversity.
Ive posted on here before that my marriage broke up 6 months ago and the fact that Ive got an upcoming court case (and possible prison sentence) to contend with.
Theres more to this but I feel so ****** depressed. the last 6 months have been hell and I cant see no end to it. Im drinking too much to cope with it all and have been hospitalised a number of times overnight because of it. Just keep getting more and more pills of the doctor but I dont want pills, I want a life again.
Any positive stories would be great to read at this moment,
thanks guys

[ummmm]

I've never thought I had no future but I have been in a dark place. 6 months is no time at all...be kind to yourself.

[Prudie]

Yes I have, don't want to go into it but it took time and a bit of luck. A few close friends and a new relationship helped me right out of it. Take all the help you can grab but not from the bottle.

[Eve]

I've been a dark place a number of times but am generally quite a positive person and keep myself going and don't let myself retreat into my own head too much. One of the things which helped me was reminding myself to give myself a break and not to expect too much too soon.

Getting yourself out there is important, there is life there but often you have to put in some of the effort to go out and find it and be open to it. Some of the most amazing things can happen when you least expect it and you can find happiness in some of the most unexpected places.

Finding pleasure in smaller things can help rather than feeling down over not having the bigger things adn trying to block everything out.

Pills can help level you out to help you get back on your feet, it doesn't have to be an either or.

[Purple_Popple]

Alcohol and pills are not the answer, they may help short term, but alcohol will make you more depressed. You must be kind to yourself first, and heal from your grieving, that is what you are doing grieving a lost relationship. Do you still love your ex ? As Ummmm said already, 6 months really is no time. Please give yourself time, this is something you cannot rush to 'get over'. Deal with one thing at a time, you must be feeling very fragile right now, be around friends & family, do lots of talking, and do take help when you need it, but not from a bottle.

[grasscarp]

Nailit, there is no need to give up. The fact that you are posting on AB says a lot. You are not drunk right now. Your typing is accurate without any mistakes. You are polite and lucid. I would say you have every chance of overcoming the problems you now have. My nephew was a drug addict and in prison, long story. However he went on to come off drugs and be a useful and caring person. It depends how much you want to get out of the mess and it is down to you. I would said that you will be able to nailit. The regular people on here are knowledgeable, caring and helpful, so any time you need encouragement please come here.

[boxtops]

Yes, I have been in dark places - but believe in your own value, believe in yourself, and you'll come out the other side.

[Smowball]

Yes I have, in fact when I look back I cant quite believe what I went through, but I got through it.

[NOX]

Yeah I was a violent drug addicted alcoholic who had served several long sentences in prison, with a failed marriage, sole custody of my young children and no money unless I went and did more of the same. Decided that was no longer an option. Left the area I was from, started from scratch washing cars and windows. moved on to trading in cars etc, then property, meanwhile got into a very good relationship, had a great life, had a second family and became pretty successful. I feel now that I am stable, happy, successful and it's largely down to the fact that I had a long term horrific patch. It's very possible to emerge stronger, better adjusted and altogether more in touch after a very bad patch because it really does give you a sense of proportion.
Concentrate on the most serious thing which at the moment is avoiding going to prison, so make sure your defence team are the best you can possibly get. Exercise to help lay off the booze, begin to regain control and accept that things might not be as you wish them to but that long term everything will be fine. Even if you do end up going to prison, take control of that, use it to your advantage as time out to strategise your life plan when you are released, if it's a sentence long enough to take courses do that etc etc etc. Happiness is about being in positive control of your life with aims and goals, you can't control everything but what you can control you must, so prioritise and don't allow fear and paranoia to cloud your long term judgement.

[Smowball]

Well said NOX x

[Dee Sa]

ditto nox,that is one of the best accounts I have heard, it can be done nailit but it takes time,good luck for the future that you build for yourself.

[Ann]

Sound advice Nox - well done for turning your life around, we admire you. Nailit, just follow Nox's advice and keep strong.

[nailit]

Thanks for all replies guys, just what I needed.
NOX, Ive read your story a few times on AB and its always insperational.
I just sometimes feel as though life repeats itself as Ive been here before...lost my family, my home, turned to drink and ended up in jail. Exactly whats happening again. Lessons to be learned??? I dont know. I know that drink and pills arnt the answer but im in a dark place at the mo and keep thinking that im destined to keep repeating my history until I die (and I think of death often at the moment). Sorry to sound pessamistic guys, just need to let of steam.
Thanks again for replies, very much appriciated and taken on board.

[grasscarp]

But it's not just you now nailit. There are people on here who have read your post and are giving you messages of support. I hope you come out of this phase soon and what happens is down to you and not "destiny". Let us know how things go. You said you want a life again and if you want this enough it will happen.

[Purple_Popple]

We can offer support Nailit, but at the end of the day IF you really want to change things, YOU have to WANT to change, YOU have to WANT to make your life better..only YOU can do this. It is possible. Talk to us on here all you need to and we will always listen.

[nailit]

wont have any internet access for another week now so thanks grasscarp and purple and everyone else for your support.

[Nay37]

I've been in that dark place. I wa married for 6 years and all was going fine (Or so I thought) then my beautiful son was born by c-section so I couldn't do much but take care of my little boy. Anyway when my son was 6 weeks old my husband turned to me and said (out of the blue) that he didn't love me and was moving out. From that point my whole world fell apart. I fould out that my husband had been cheating on me with a woman that used to be married to his best friend. I never liked her that much but I was always pleasant to her. She is a psycho. For about 4 years she harassed me. Sent pizza deliveries to my house and taxis. Would phone up and just laugh, turn up out side my sons nursery and call me names in front of my son. The list goes on. My husband also phoned my mum and said that our little boy wasn't his and doesn't want to see him again. I was bringing up my little one on my own and thought that was my lot, that no one would want a woman with a kid. Then I guy started working in my office and he took an interest in me, he had to ask me out 3 times. I couldn't believe it. He knew I had a son and it didn't seem to bother him at all. Now here we are 4 years later and very happy. He is a great dad to my little boy too. I couldn't have asked for a nicer guy. He spoils me rotten. I can't believe my luck. Hopefully he will ask me to marry him one day and that will make my life complete.