Overweight Stepson

[47julie47]

He lives with grandma, through choice, he weighs 25.5 stones, 6ft 5". We have tried the gym, incentives, taken him to doctors, who told us he had refused help, dietician and blood tests, so there was nothing we could do about it. We know he may already damaged his health, but hes in denial and we need some help. The school does not to seem concerned at all.

[bednobs]

how old?

[Smowball]

How old? He is very tall though.

[ummmm]

If he's still at school then he must be 16 or under.

What foods is he eating? Or what is he drinking?

[47julie47]

my stepson lives with his grandma, hes 16, 6ft 5" and weight over 25.5 stones. His father and I are at our wits end, the school he goes to are very unhelpful, the doctor has told us that unless he wants to lose weight there is nothing we can do. He has refused to have blood tests, to see a dietician and seems to be in denial. We have tried the gym, incentives to lose weight and tough love, nothing seems to work. Where can we go from here? We realise his health may already be damaged already, but there must be something.He was 16 yesterday, leaves in july

[47julie47]

He was 16 yesterday, leaves in july

[ummmm]

Who is feeding him? Have a word with his nan.

[Smowball]

Does he actually look very overweight?

[47julie47]

yes, he does look overweight and his grandma monitors his food intake at meal times. She cant when hes at school or when shes asleep. She doesnt but unhealthy food nor fizzy drinks, but hes getting food from somewhere. I need some realistic and sensible advivce.

[Smowball]

I dont see what you can actually do if he refuses to co-operate. All you can do is point out the problems with carring such excess weight. It is up to him if he chooses to listen to you.

[Sqad]

Smowball

\\\\I dont see what you can actually do if he refuses to co-operate. All you can do is point out the problems with carring such excess weight. It is up to him if he chooses to listen to you.\\\

Exactly.

[evedawn]

Similar problem with my stepson. He's 23 now tho. Always has been overweight And despite our attempts over the years to monitor his food he just find ways to eat junk. He definately comfort eats and the worse his weight is the worse his self esteem gets the more he eats etc etc. tried to get him help over the years but there's not alot you can do other than being there fit when he realises
It's a health issue.

[cassa333]

Where does he get his money from? If he is going to school and buying food stuffs on the way there or back ....don't give him any money.

If at all possible ask Gran to buy only enough food for that day or a couple of days at a time so he can't get at it when he is alone.

As has been said you can't make him lose weight if he doesn't want to so all you can do for now is talk to him. Keep asking him why he wants to die so young. What is it that makes him want to be bed bound? Ask him why he doesn't want a proper relationship with a girl? These are all things that are likely to happen if he carries on killing himself like this.


Any parent wants the best for their children and as a step parent I think it is great you want to help him.

Would he benifit from the softly softly approach or the tough love stance?

I would say he has underlying psycological issues so a councilor or psycyatrist may help him.

[shaneystar2]

He could possibly have Prader–Willi syndrome but if he refuses to have tests that's difficult .Has he always been overweight even as a child ?
Does he eat for eatings sake ? Raid the cupboards etc ?

[divegirl]

This may be a little out side the box but does he spend a lot of time online? If he does try getting him to look here...

http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/

Its a brilliant tool and forum where he can get some ideas and make some friends who are in the same position.

Lisa x

ps Reddit is a wicked website all round... that link is just to the dieting forum...Try getting him on there and clicking on 'FRONT' he'll love it there and it could be the start of something good. But obviously 'loseit' is where you want him to be!

[cazzz1975]

I dont think there is a lot you can do, he will lose weight when he is ready, the more you force the issue the more he will dig his heels in.

[47julie47]

thank you, will try it