TV1 min ago
Am I Right To Be Annoyed And Upset...?
63 Answers
This has happened so many times now, and each time I have debating asking for opinions on here, but I am literally seething right now....!
My parents never ever EVER babysit my children. I hardly ever ask them, as I know what the outcome will be, but I have two other sisters with children and it doesn't seem to be a problem for them.
As I said, I hardly ever ask, but I asked a couple of months ago when I was absolutely desperate and they said "yes, no problem" (as always) and then called up on the morning they were supposed to have them and said they were "too tired" - again, as always.
I don't ask much of them, they've never helped me out when I needed them and I've always had to rely on friends or my husband.
I do quite a lot for them, things that may sound petty but still equate to me being the one they rely on when they need help with something. Some examples:
My Mum is a complete computer-phobe and recently wanted some stuff put onto Ebay. She phoned me up late at night and said she needed it doing "that night" and could I do it. I don't like to say no so was up until the early hours doing it for her.
Another time, just recently, she called me and said she needed some stuff printing "desperately". I said I was on my way out to an appointment (a really important appointment) but she said she needed it printing within the hour or she would lose out on something. She then just came round and I spent the next two hours sorting it out for her, and ended up missing my appointment - which she didn't seem to give two hoots about.
She has been moaning for the past few months that my Dad won't take her anywhere she needs to go (she doesn't drive) and she desperately needed to get some stuff for her holiday. I felt really bad for her so found a coach trip that went to the place she wanted to go, checked with her first and then booked two seats. I haven't got much money and said her "do you definitely want to go?" and she said "yes that would be really nice, thankyou", so I booked it. The day before we were due to go she sent me a text to say she couldn't come as she was having injections for her holiday and had forgotten about it. I said I wouldn't be able to get a refund, and would lose the money, but she just said "sorry, but I forgot". A few days later I couldn't get hold of her, so rang my Dad, and he said she "had gone shopping with my older sister"... to the place I'd booked the trip to! This may sound daft, but I was really upset.
I've had quite a lot going on recently and I just feel really alone.
Today is an important date for me, for whatever reason, and I have asked if they would be able to have my kids for a few hours tonight. My Mum has text to say she can't as she is really tired, behind on her holiday packing and has "been up all night being sick" - although my Dad seems to know nothing about this so I think it's just an excuse.
I was supposed to be doing a family bbq tomorrow but I've said to her I will postpone it until she comes back from holiday as if she's sick them that'll be the last thing she feels like. She's just text me to say "no, I'll be fine by tomorrow and I really need you to print out some tickets for me".
I've also just found out they are having my sisters FOUR kids during the half term for TWO weeks. I asked my Dad if he was mad (the kids are totally out of control) and he said "I couldn't say no, I felt sorry for her"..!!!
Is it just me, or would the majority of people feel pretty pissed off by this?
My parents never ever EVER babysit my children. I hardly ever ask them, as I know what the outcome will be, but I have two other sisters with children and it doesn't seem to be a problem for them.
As I said, I hardly ever ask, but I asked a couple of months ago when I was absolutely desperate and they said "yes, no problem" (as always) and then called up on the morning they were supposed to have them and said they were "too tired" - again, as always.
I don't ask much of them, they've never helped me out when I needed them and I've always had to rely on friends or my husband.
I do quite a lot for them, things that may sound petty but still equate to me being the one they rely on when they need help with something. Some examples:
My Mum is a complete computer-phobe and recently wanted some stuff put onto Ebay. She phoned me up late at night and said she needed it doing "that night" and could I do it. I don't like to say no so was up until the early hours doing it for her.
Another time, just recently, she called me and said she needed some stuff printing "desperately". I said I was on my way out to an appointment (a really important appointment) but she said she needed it printing within the hour or she would lose out on something. She then just came round and I spent the next two hours sorting it out for her, and ended up missing my appointment - which she didn't seem to give two hoots about.
She has been moaning for the past few months that my Dad won't take her anywhere she needs to go (she doesn't drive) and she desperately needed to get some stuff for her holiday. I felt really bad for her so found a coach trip that went to the place she wanted to go, checked with her first and then booked two seats. I haven't got much money and said her "do you definitely want to go?" and she said "yes that would be really nice, thankyou", so I booked it. The day before we were due to go she sent me a text to say she couldn't come as she was having injections for her holiday and had forgotten about it. I said I wouldn't be able to get a refund, and would lose the money, but she just said "sorry, but I forgot". A few days later I couldn't get hold of her, so rang my Dad, and he said she "had gone shopping with my older sister"... to the place I'd booked the trip to! This may sound daft, but I was really upset.
I've had quite a lot going on recently and I just feel really alone.
Today is an important date for me, for whatever reason, and I have asked if they would be able to have my kids for a few hours tonight. My Mum has text to say she can't as she is really tired, behind on her holiday packing and has "been up all night being sick" - although my Dad seems to know nothing about this so I think it's just an excuse.
I was supposed to be doing a family bbq tomorrow but I've said to her I will postpone it until she comes back from holiday as if she's sick them that'll be the last thing she feels like. She's just text me to say "no, I'll be fine by tomorrow and I really need you to print out some tickets for me".
I've also just found out they are having my sisters FOUR kids during the half term for TWO weeks. I asked my Dad if he was mad (the kids are totally out of control) and he said "I couldn't say no, I felt sorry for her"..!!!
Is it just me, or would the majority of people feel pretty pissed off by this?
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Thanks again. I appreciate it.
I actually feel a bit better now I've had chance to talk to you lot about it, and get it off my chest.
It just hurts that they would see me pay for a childminder for a night, yet have my sisters kids for two weeks and actually lose money for it. To be, that just doesn't seem fair.
But anyway, thanks again. I feel a lot more relaxed just getting it all out in the open.
xx
I actually feel a bit better now I've had chance to talk to you lot about it, and get it off my chest.
It just hurts that they would see me pay for a childminder for a night, yet have my sisters kids for two weeks and actually lose money for it. To be, that just doesn't seem fair.
But anyway, thanks again. I feel a lot more relaxed just getting it all out in the open.
xx
I know were your coming from and I really feel 4 you, I have 3 sisters, mum always prefered daughter number 2 and had her kids all the time, if any of us asked, it would be sorry but I have got *******, that weekend, (every weekend), my other sister couldnt cope with it in the end and moved away, 10 years ago when I went through a really bad break up and asked her to have my daughter for the night, she said she couldnt, I was really livid, I now feel that she is the one that lost out, I take her shopping and pick her up from work, but do not ask anything from here,
DJHawkes, whilst I have no intention of telling you just how badly I have been dealing with 'life' these past few months, I can assure you that my sister and their families lives are just peachy compared to mine.
As above, thanks for the advice and responses. I'm now going to go and sit in what's left of the sun :)
As above, thanks for the advice and responses. I'm now going to go and sit in what's left of the sun :)
Everybody is entitled to a good rant every now and then, it's certainly better than letting it all build up. x
If you have your sisters children, could she not have yours just over night, as a off whenyou need it.
Unless you are the only one witha house big enough to hold everybody for dinners and parties I would stop doing everything for them all the time, sit back and let someone else do things for a change, or help someone else do it.
Maybe they just take it or granted that you will do everything all the time.
I used to be you.
No, sorry, are the best two words I ever learned.X
If you have your sisters children, could she not have yours just over night, as a off whenyou need it.
Unless you are the only one witha house big enough to hold everybody for dinners and parties I would stop doing everything for them all the time, sit back and let someone else do things for a change, or help someone else do it.
Maybe they just take it or granted that you will do everything all the time.
I used to be you.
No, sorry, are the best two words I ever learned.X
Someone once told me that it wasn't a good idea to be a good "coper", it too easliy becomes "mug". If has as been suggested, your sisters are less coping than you, maybe they have the right idea, they don't need to cope as your Mother seems to pick up the pieces.
If you always do Christmas for the whole family, start planning your flu now! You're being put upon by your family and they will never change as long as you let them get away with it.
If you always do Christmas for the whole family, start planning your flu now! You're being put upon by your family and they will never change as long as you let them get away with it.
P.S She's just text me to say "sorry to bother you again but i really need to get this paperwork printed off for tomorrow. ****** was supposed to sort it all out ages ago (my sister and her husband who she's going away with) but they still haven't done it and I'm really panicking about it now".
This is what it's like all the time...
This is what it's like all the time...
None on us can know why your parents are acting like this and I would find it very hurtful too. My advice is to make yourself far more unavailable from now on. They are taking you for granted. Unless you want to do this BBQ then cry off tomorrow - after all you get no help with childcare so have every right to be tired!
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