Forgive Me...

[CailinDeas]

I find it very difficult to forgive people (well nigh impossible). My head keeps telling me "wrong me once, shame on you. wrong me twice, shame on me." Any wise words from you might help.

[Butterbun]

I think God forgives everything.

[mccfluff]

depends what they did

[pixie373]

It does depend what for. Some things shouldn't be forgiven. If you mean for just trivial things, i think it's about understanding that people sometimes make mistakes. We're all human. The question is, would you expect to be forgiven if you did it?

[cupid04]

Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. As long as we learn from
our mistakes, that's the important thing. If we hold onto our hurts they
fester and can make us ill. The longer you hold on, the harder you will find it
to forgive.

[Quoi]

You cant control other peoples actions - you are 100% in charge of your reaction to what they do.
Forgiveness and understanding is always a choice.
If you dont want to forgive then you wont.

[888sally888]

I fester and find it so hard to forgive - wish I wasn't like this.

[Mamyalynne]

I have usually found it very easy to forgive and have moved on and felt better for it - in my whole life there is only one person I cannot forgive. As they don't feature in my life anymore, I have mentally boxed it up and filed under 'unnecessary baggage'.

[grasscarp]

It is best if you can forgive people because otherwise you carry around resentment and anger they have caused. Also other people are only human. I try to see every day as a new one and see afresh all those I come in to contact with. Maybe nobody has done anything to me yet so bad that I cannot forgive them.

[Clanad]

Along with the already good advice, it's important that you differentiate between unforgiveness and not forgetting. I've found, often, that I remember to easily, the act but in reality, I have forgiven the perpetrator.

We're instructed to forgive, but nary a word about forgetfulness... The latter is more difficult, in my experience, and can easily be mistaken for the former...

[anneasquith]

life is so much nicer when we stop hating :)

[Baldric]

Most things I just brush off,
There are a couple of things that really wind me up,
but I don't bear a grudge over it,
the perpetrator just ceases to exist in my life!

[Old_Geezer]

One forgives for one's own sake, not the sake of the person who wronged you. To forgive does not mean to forget. You can remain wary in the future, just avoid getting het up about past deeds thus causing yourself harm.

[boxtops]

It depends what it is. Some things I think are intolerable and I couldn't forgive the person who did it (and I don't forget much, either).

[Psybbo]

Hurt me I can forgive, hurt mine no way

[boxtops]

I don't understand why - if someone's done something unacceptable to you, why should you forgive them? It's still not acceptable.

[jno]

boxtops, it's as OG says: forgiving them is good for your soul, not theirs. Spending your days eaten up with anger is a miserable way to live. You don't have to forget, just tell yourself what's past is past (and avoid the sinner in future).

[Jeza]

I'm not religious but didn't the Lord say "To err is human, to forgive is divine. Having said that I was wronged over 20 years ago and given the opportunity I would still run the Bastard over. Bitter yes, though it hasn't taken over my life.

[pixie373]

Not everything should be forgiven. I cut a "good friend" out of my life about 12 years ago. But what she did affected not just me, but my children too (she slept with their dad. We split up). Would never trust her again.

[DaisyNonna]

Not forgiving does not necessitate spending one's time eaten up with anger.