How Do I Forgive Someone Who Has Really Hurt Me And Offended Me

[gordiescotland1]

Hi there I am really struggling to forgive someone who humiliated me and put me down in my own home in front of several of my friends and it is eating me up i cant sleep ive got a sore shoulder back and neck ive got indigestion and headaches and I am really depressed and tired I need to let this go for the sake of my health but how do you forgive someone when the feelings keep on coming back constantly

[Baldric]

Then don't forgive them, just bear a grudge, it's much less taxing on the system!

[gordiescotland1]

sorry not sure what you mean unless you are being sarcastic?

[Peaspeculiars]

I sincerely hope that whoever it was has apologised to you gordie? It's difficult to forgive someone if they haven't admitted their mistake and offered at least that...

[Psybbo]

Forgive But remember!

[cupid04]

Do you have a faith? If the answer's yes...then try praying for yourself and for this person. Hurt is painful but the longer we hold on to it the more difficult it is to let go. And as you've found out it affects your whole well-being...mind, body and soul. I wish you well.

[anneasquith]

its awful when something like this affects your health and wellbeing. have you spoken to the person who offended you, do you wish an apology ?. or you could rise above the situation and concentrate on your health, difficult as it is '' letting things go '' can be quite liberating. take care. anne

[Mamyalynne]

Imagine the hurt and humiliation as an object, mentally put it in a box and double wrap it and tie with string, write in big letters 'The Past'


Visualisation is a good technique for things like this.

[Old_Geezer]

Time helps. When feeling angry/hurt acknowledge the thought/feeling but do not feed the feeling by dwelling on it. Take a breath and move your thoughts to something more productive, less destructive to you. When your mind no longer feels a benefit to bringing such thoughts to the fore then you will have put all in the past and forgiven those concerned.

[Zacs-Master]

If the friends you were embarassed in front of know you, and are true friends, then they will understand.

[Baldric]

///much less taxing on the system///

You say ///it is eating me up i cant sleep ive got a sore shoulder back and neck ive got indigestion and headaches and I am really depressed and tired I need to let this go///
If that is what trying to forgive them does to you, STOP TRYING!

[RATTER15]

Read this:....
http://sylviasthoughts.hubpages.com/hub/ForgivenessWhy-its-Important#slide5363820

[NiceMatters]

Ask yourself does this person really mean anything to you? You were surrounded by friends who probably don't think too favorably of someone who has the nerve to do this to you in your own home and has probably not even given this a second thought. You only have so much time on this earth. Don't waste any of it, or give the power of it, to be hurt by someone who obviously is not worth it. Feel sorry for someone who is so ignorant. Maya Angelou once said "Don't give priority to someone who considers you as an option." Wise words. In the mean time, watch cat videos. Best blues buster ever!

[naomi24]

Why do you think you need to forgive horrible people? Some people aren't nice - that's life. Live and learn.

[NiceMatters]

Give thanks today for those who did you wrong.They unknowingly made you strong.

[Brinjal]

Unless it is someone that you really want to have a relationship with then push it aside and move on. Is it more that you are still angry about what they did than actually wanting to forgive them. Sometimes after something like that things between you will never be the same so just concentrate on your true friends and forget the snakes.

[ummmm]

I'm with Baldric. There is no law that says you have to forgive or a time limit on it. Forgive in your own time, if ever. Stop stressing about it.

[weecalf]

I think any right minded person who insults and hurts a persons feelings and has not go the decency to try to put it right has the problem .So it possible the person feels worse than you so maybe a wee chat but in future I'd keep them at arms length .

[kvalidir]

Don't worry about it Gordy- whatever this person did or said they showed themselves up a arses not you. Don't forgive them, there is no need, they showed they don't have your best interests at heart and disrespected you in your own home, so stuff 'em. Cut them out of your life if that will make you happy. If you have feelings or affection for this person then contact them, tell them there is something you need to discuss and invite them round to have it out with them, that might clear the air, or it might make it worse, but you'll be in a better position to either forgive and move on or decide they're not worth bothering with.