Bed Wetting With A 12 Year Old

[hammerman]

Friend of mine has a 12 year old girl who wets the bed every night. She's only been doing it for several months but she's at the end of her tether. The 12 year old also wee's on the bathroom floor and there's evidence of her wetting herself during the day.

They're having to throw away the mattress, the carpet, clothes etc. The child refuses to go to the doctors.

can you offer any help or advice. fairly stable household, no school problems that she's aware of etc etc.

[2sp_]

Maybe a trip to her GP in case there is a physical problem that needs attention.

I know you have said that she refuses to go to the doctor, but if her mum explains that she can't go on like this and that they just want her to be better it might help. 12 is such a difficult age as it is, poor mite.

[pixie373]

Can she get a urine sample at home and take it in to the doctor's? Probably easiest to rule out physical causes (infection, etc) and then move on to emotional ones, if necessary.

[boxtops]

A 12-year-old is too young to be able to refuse to go to the doctor - the parents can take her.

However - it's not a good thought, but unless there's something physically wrong with her bladder or urethra, sometimes I have heard of girls start wetting if they've had some sort of sexual experience (by choice, or more often not).

Your friend could go and have a chat with the GP and seek their advice as to what to do next.

[jno]

I had the same thought as boxtops. If not sexual experience then some sort of cry for help.

[Ratty2E]

I am afraid I would be very worried that she may have been abused, but then I have a very suspicious nature. There could I'm sure be a perfectly innocent explanAtion but she needs to see a doctor ASAP . She will be very embarrassed and possibly frightened by what's happening or has happened, she needs persuading patiently but firmly that she must see a doctor. I'm afraid I wouldn't accept a 12 year old refusing medical help, they'd be going and that's that.

[woofgang]

Would she be happier talking to a woman who isn't a medic? I wouldn't be inclined to insist oh her seeing a doctor, if she has been abused, you don't know what the abuser may have told her will happen if she tells or sees a doctor.

Could you or she talk to the NSPCC helpline?

[anneasquith]

as it may be a physical issue, would she allow her mother to take a urine sample to the gp ?

[jno]

perhaps she worries if she goes to the doctor it'll be in your presence? Would it help if you weren't there? (That's a tough ask, I know.)