Heartbreak...

[AvaD]

Sorry to dampen anyoones sunday but... I wanted to get advice from outsiders, my friends all have opinions and what not but i feel like i need to hear it from outsiders.

So ive been with myq boyfriend since july last year. We have an absolutely amazing bond. We're so close and spend about 5 days out of 7 together, really miss each other when we're not together etc...

But...he has terrible moodswings especially when he's been drinking. Weve broken up so many times before but it tends to be over silly srguments and both of us are very stubborn and strong willed so it tends to just make an argument worse. Last night we had an argument he stormed off down the pub and i had a feeling he'd be there so i went down. At first he was mad then we had quite a good night but on going home he kicked off again and we had a war of words and now he says the relationship is dead to him and hasnt spoken since 3am this morning. My head thinks the sensible thing to do is walk away but he's my first love, first boyfriend, my best friend and i think i'll go crazy not being eith him. Is it best to walk away or do i give him time to come to his senses? He normally does but i'm not sure this time...thanks for any advice

[redman41]

Is he physically violent towards you, and/or makes threats etc ??
If so, get away from him ASAP
Plenty more Fish in the Sea...

[albaqwerty]

I think the reason for you asking this question, is you already know the answer.

He may be your first love and you will always have a soft-spot for him, but it is time to walk away.
You won't go crazy without him in your life, it might feel like that for a while, but it will fade.

A stranger is a friend you haven't yet met :-) xx

[black_cat51]

if it's your first relationship, then you haven't had a taste of what a good relationship should be. Clue: it's not this

[AvaD]

Yes we've both been violent towards each other. I spend more time with him than anybody else its going to be so hard i can't even bear the thought of not texting him again or anything

[redman41]

In your case AvaD, the grass is definitely greener elsewhere, so it is time to move on and have a better relationship and a more peaceful life.

[murraymints]

Keep away ..move on ....violence is not good !!

[albaqwerty]

Delete his number from your phone, spend more time with your pals, and ask them to keep their opinions to themselves, it was your relationship, not theirs.
If they are true friends, they will be there to support you.

Violence involved from both sides? Get out now!!

[woofgang]

Oh you know the answer. He's not good for you, you are not good for him....Get out of this toxic relationship before one of you really damages the other.

[HansUrbancka]

I think you are going to find that the majority of ABers will feel that you should ditch him. He's not worth keeping if he has to run to the pub because you have words and then arrives back home to quarrel further.

Hans.

[stewey]

AvaD, as redman41 said, there “are plenty more fish in the sea.” To carry on the theme, I think it’s time to abandon ship: you know it’s sinking don’t you? Find a new ship-mate and sail off happily into calmer and more serene waters.

[AvaD]

I knew that would be the general concensus.. Im going to have to chop off my fingers to avoid contacting him

[albaqwerty]

Ask one of your pal's to ask him to change his number.
You'll have to go cold turkey.

Your head is telling you it's not a good relationship, listen to it!

[maggiebee]

Ditto to all advice above - move on - fast.

[ummmm]

How old are you?

Breaking up so many times is not an amazing bond, imo.

[jno]

soulmates who are violent aren't really soulmates. It looks like he's ready to make the break; now you need to be.

[ummmm]

And from what I've witnessed abusive relationships are addictive to some. It's like they are addicted to the adrenaline rush they get from arguing with other.

Get out while you can and realise that although soulmates fall out occasionally they don't break up a relationship and they certainly don't hit each other.

[whirlyhurly]

In my experience with both of you drinking & rowing, things will only escalate which could result in serious injuries (mainly to yourself). Please move on.

[anneasquith]

ava, does your baby witness these arguments/assaults ?

[Dee Sa]

my old gran used to say "stand at the bus stop my girl, there will be another one along in a minute" ditch him, don't mope, get out and enjoy yourself.