Dating And Intimacy Problems

[inamuddle1]

I am a young and good looking girl. I've got loads of things going for me. Lots of unique qualities , but I've not had a boyfriend in ages. I feel really lonely and i'm beginning to think that there is something wrong. Men are interested in me, but they are not the men I want. Not my type, happy to be friends with them, but actually I want someone I can go further with. It's making me unhappy.

I feel like i have set my standards too high or something, but I dont want to go out with the guys that like me... no one I like seems to want me. Other people don't seem to have this problem, i feel like its just me. I've been single for years. I dont like dating websites, some of my girlfriends are on them, and they are just having sex with everyone... i dont want to be like that. so i dont use the sites.

I'm very outgoing, and somewhat eccentric, and if I'm honest, I don't want to sell myself short... sounds big headed ih!!! I don't mean to be... and that is another concern, that I think im too good.

I suppose im not looking for dating advice, I'm looking for advice on how to bring my blo*dy ego down, and make myself more available to guys!

[black_cat51]

your friends are on dating websites and they are having sex. Those two things are not bound together in stone - people can use websites but NOT have sex you know!

[inamuddle1]

you think i should join a dating site? I tried it, and honestly, that is the only people i met. I sat with a guy for 5 minutes and he practically lept across the table to start kissing me. Suppose that might have freaked me out a bit. I just want to meet someone normally. Its a small world, maybe I don't want to be known by everyone like that...

[Prudie]

You asked a similar question a year ago. Do you still live in Spain? Are the guys you mix with mainly Spanish?

[black_cat51]

online is "normally" now!

[inamuddle1]

my problem is not the dating, my problem is that i think im too good. I think im too special for dating websites...

[inamuddle1]

it doesnt matter... forget it. Obviously i have issues...

[maggiebee]

Yeh, you sound like you might.

[inamuddle1]

thats why i posted... ha... doesnt matter... cheers anyhoo. bye

[pixie373]

Not necessarily. But the right person could be anywhere. I think you'll be fine when you meet someone that actually interests you. It's possible to meet people online, but imo, you can go to a pub of 200 people and not see anyone you're interested in. It must take longer online..however my friend has been with someone 3 years now that she met online and she was very sceptical at first.

[EcclesCake]

Check your local library for poetry readings. At least you will know you have something in common with the others.

[Old_Geezer]

You sound a perfectly normal female to me. One plucks up courage to indicate to you that one is interested, and you explain that they are not your type but let's be friends. That sounds about right.

[welshlibranr]

easy answer is to try to be less eccentric, in other words keep a lid on it!...don't go looking for anything, if you're not looking then you'll find someone that interests you, and he'll be interested in you!......above all, try to be less critical of the men that you meet!....give them some time to get to know them!...........

[Purple_Popple]

You're being way to hard on yourself here. Nothing wrong with standards, at least you are not desperate and will just go for any guy that comes along like a lot of people I know have and are paying dearly by the amount of moaning and arguing they go on about how unhappy they are in their relationships. Try and relax, this is something you can't hurry along, but you must be happy in yourself and be happy with your life. Don't rely on anyone to make you happy.

[Bramleyboy]

I always tell my children, if you're not catching anything or anybody, change the bait!!!!

[pearlz42]

Have you watched sound of music? One of the most popular songs from that movie, listen carefully to the lyrics.

Start from the very beginning
A very good place to start.
When you talk you start with ABC
When you sing you begin DO RE ME

So let's think like that.

When you want a boyfriend start low and simple and gradually work your way up. If I wasn't tired I would explain further but its 1:35am in NZ so best of luck to you!