How Often Do You Have Sex?

[jd_1984]

This is a serious question which is why I havent put it in Chatterbank, which would likely encourage humorous replies!!
But, as a newly married man I am not sure whether we are being intimate frequntly enough. I realise circumstances will play a huge part in marital relationships but we are probably being intimate around 2-4 times a month (not including kissing and that type of affection)
As a younger man, in less serious and more casual relationships, I was going at it a hell of a lot more. But, I question whether we are in a rut, so soon into married life!!!

[boxtops]

Well, switch off the TV!

[jd_1984]

Oh.... answer removed! Im intrigued...
And yes boxtops, that would help. I honestly think having a TV in the room is a factor, we have forgotten how to communicate and be close

[ummmm]

Do you actually refuse each other?

[Old_Geezer]

What makes you think it would ever be immune to humorous replies ?
Nowhere near enough.
"Intimate enough" is whatever the couple decides suits them.

[jd_1984]

No we dont refuse each other (maybe once or twice if one of us genuinely tired)
Like I say it has become a massive elephant in the room (Not a reference to my wife!!) My best explanation is that we are in a rut with neither party intiating sex. When we do it its because "we really should shouldnt we" it used to be due to passion. Sure its just a patch!! Hope so :(

[ummmm]

Initiate it more often then.

[atalanta]

Didn't Kinsey reckon that the average was two-and-a-half times a week ?

[carrust]

If you've tried the soft cuddly approach without any results, then I would buy some handcuffs, tie her up & give her a good seeing to. I used to have to do this to my ex occasionally to get her into line....she loved it;-)

[anneasquith]

neither of you fancy having sex.must be a reason. or your both quite happy with the situation.

[rockyracoon]

Some might say you have Post Wedding Depression (I kid you not), all the fun build up to the wedding and holiday then back down to reality.

Now you've made sex an elephant in the room you need to address it by talking, and honestly saying how you expect your sex life to be.

We have runs of very regular sex then it might be 2 or 3 weeks before we do it again, and as Ummmm says, when there are kids in the house it can be difficult. My kids go to bed later than us at the weekend so that puts a spanner in the works.

Get the little one looked after, go out for a nice evening and talk to your wife about how you feel, she'll probably be relieved.

Good luck.

[ummmm]

We 'never' have sex at night...ever. To me, when you go to bed in the evening, it's because you're tired.

[Sqad]

Jd...........yes, I think that you are describing the onset of what is known in the business as a "rut" and it happens to most men in the field of marriage.

The big question IS, what are you going to do about it ....if anything?

It will depend upon your needs, requirements and tolerance as to the answer.

Good luck mate.

P.S I think that you have done well to last more than 3 years of married life.

[viv38]

Only at weekends as OH and I live in separate houses, but get together at weekends !

[Sqad]

Ah!..........thanks C&J..........6 weeks eh? And the problem is prominent enough to bring him to AB.

My answer above remains the same.

[ummmm]

He was just wondering if it were normal!

[rockyracoon]

That's the thing, nothing's normal when it comes to relationships, each to their own.

[cupid04]

Some medication can affect your libido or lack of it!