Indecision Of The Heart!!

[missjulie]

I met a man over Facebook and we have been messaging for several months and are due to meet tomorrow for the first time. There is no question that sex would be expected due to the explicit nature of our texts and messages.

I am already in a relationship and quite obviously seeking a thrill and confirmation of my attractiveness, being a very vain and insecure type of person.

But I am absolutely petrified. The duplicity is causing me massive stress, as well as the all-encompassing fear that this man will see me and be dreadfully disappointed that I don't look as good as my photos.

I don't know what to do. This would most definitely be a one-off for me but my confidence is at an all-time low and the rejection would be crushing.

[Mamyalynne]

Missjulie was referring to the '14 year old self who was bullied at school'


My advice,work on your relationship, this won't help.

[pixie373]

It's exactly what it says. She was unhappy at school and wants to prove to herself back then.

[Dizmo]

To me it's just a typo.

I hardly think that if this was a troll they'd make such a stupid mistake.

Either way my advice may help other people in this situation so I don't feel at all robbed of my time.

[Dizmo]

I've re-read missjulie's post and it is just poorly written with regards to the '14 year old' statement. Most likely due to being extremely emotional when writing it. I don't think anyone should think of her as a troll purely down to that statement alone.

[Mamyalynne]

Yes,I will read it as I want- always do.

[missjulie]

I'm not 14, I'm 47!! I was talking about being bullied at the age of 14 yet I am still trying to prove to my 14 year old self - as I was then - that I was and am attractiver.

[missjulie]

I'm not expressing myself well or eloquently as I'm so anxious. But I promise you I'm not a troll, this is a real situation for me and I am very grateful for all your thoughts.

[AlwaysConfused]

missjulie, follow your head, not your heart. This one decision could be life changing. I'm certain you can find other ways to increase your confidence - a one night stand will damage your confidence in the long run.

[Mamyalynne]

In my view, handing yourself out on a plate for approval or sex won't improve your self confidence only lower it more.

To improve that you need to work from within and build on it.

[Retrochic]

miss julie -your posts are inconsistent. You state in your initial post that you are meeting for the first time tomorrow. Your post of 11.39 states you have already met and indeed this meeting instigated your FB messaging. You have either met or you have not. You say this 'duplicity' is causing you stress yet in a later post say you are not ' into morals' I would suggest not going tomorrow then seeking advice and help on how to increase your self-esteem and confidence without resorting to casual sex or making up stories on forums.

[missjulie]

Thank you again to everyone and so sorry for the confusion and inconsistency. I logged onto her in complete panic and do feel a lot better listening to your views. I still haven't decided what to do, but your thoughts have given me a lot to consider.

[Retrochic]

you have two choices really -go and have casual sex with a stranger that will make you feel 'wanted' or stay at home and go get some counselling to try and help you come to terms with your lack of confidence and low self esteem.

[craft1948]

Go on.....you know you want to.

[Peter Pedant]

// missjulie we will wait with baited breath we really will.// retro

I have started breath-holding in amazement as I write
will I last out until the final installment ?

the usual rule for people who dont know what to do , is
do nothing
but that doesnt mean dont write about it to us

[trt]

## Go on.....you know you want to. ##

And let us know all about it the day after!

[Carakeel]

To me, the main question is .... are you honestly willing to risk your 12 year relationship, just for the sake of a one off meeting, whether sexual or not with what is in reality a total stranger (seeing as people can lie about absolutely everything online). Perhaps you need to have a look at the TV program "Catfish". It might just give you a clearer view on some aspects of this. But again, why on earth would you deliberately hurt someone who has been your partner for the past 12 years? Put the effort in to refresh the love you two have and if you no longer have this love, then try to amicably break up with him, rather than cheat on him. It is a far more honest way to handle it.

[pastafreak]

//Sqad
pasta....c'mon/

A 14year old girl who has been in a relationship for 12 years......

What do you take us for?//

I take you for men who do not read things thoroughly.

*bangs head on brick wall*