Indecision Of The Heart!!

[missjulie]

I met a man over Facebook and we have been messaging for several months and are due to meet tomorrow for the first time. There is no question that sex would be expected due to the explicit nature of our texts and messages.

I am already in a relationship and quite obviously seeking a thrill and confirmation of my attractiveness, being a very vain and insecure type of person.

But I am absolutely petrified. The duplicity is causing me massive stress, as well as the all-encompassing fear that this man will see me and be dreadfully disappointed that I don't look as good as my photos.

I don't know what to do. This would most definitely be a one-off for me but my confidence is at an all-time low and the rejection would be crushing.

[factor-fiction]

Don't go then

[VHG]

It is VERY VERY risky meeting anyone face to face who you have only ever met over the internet.

Make sure you meet them in a VERY public place, and don't go off anywhere with them where you are alone or not near other members of the public.

Sorry to sound alarmist but you cant be too careful nowadays.

Finally, you may find HE is just as worried as you are, as maybe he will think YOU will think HIM not as attractive as he is in his photos.

Good luck.

[jd_1984]

Affairs tend to be physical but then if you connect on all levels and end up wanting to be with this person, what happens then. Find it hard to condone cheating on a partner to be honest. Of that relationship isn't working and you seek thrills elsewhere, tell your partner how you feel

[factor-fiction]

But staying in a public place will make it a bit difficult for them to have the sex they are expecting, vhg

[grasscarp]

Absolutely agree. Call it off while you still can. I dont understand why you would be sending texts and messages of an explicit sexual nature to someone you have not even met. Dangerous territory. And you are only worried that you may not look as good as in your photos! Stick to the relationship you are already in missjulie.

[Sqad]

\\\ that this man will see me and be dreadfully disappointed that I don't look as good as my photos. \\\\
He won't mind.......as long as you have a pulse.

ALL women on internet websites choose their photographs carefully,some taken years before.

Go on, see what happens.......if all fails you can go back to your "relationship".

[VHG]

factor-fiction, sorry I misred their question, where it said:

>There is no question that sex would be expected

I read that as it was NOT likely rather than it is likely.

In that case it is even MORE risky going off and having sex with someone you have never met before.

VERY dangerous, they may be a sadist, have AIDS and all sorts of things.

Poster sounds like they want the "thrill" but are not willing to accept the possible dangers.

[VHG]

btw I see this is a first time poster and I am always a little suspicious of first time posters until they have a "AB history".

A bit like a seller on ebay with no selling history, do you trust them.

[missjulie]

Thank you for the answers so far - just to clarify that my photos are always bang up to date and that we did meet very very briefly at a function in November, but everyone was tarted up to the nines and it wasn't a true or accurate portrayal.

But we started chatting online afterwards, that's what I mean.

[Sqad]

Just can't see what all the fuss is about.

you are not looking for a long term, meaningful relationship and neither is he.

A bit of excitement will do you both good.

[Tilly2]

If you feel guilty now, you'll feel even worse afterwards. Can you stand the extra stress?

[Retrochic]

There is also the fact that you may be expecting some George Clooney look-a-like and he turns up looking more like Shane MacGowan. Have you got a 'quick exit' plan? Oh and if you feel the need to have a 'thrill' how about doing it with your partner -he/she may actually enjoy it!

[Sqad]

\\\\\\Oh and if you feel the need to have a 'thrill' how about doing it with your partner -he/she may actually enjoy it!\\\\\

LOL......LOL

[gness]

You've been messaging for "several" months?.......You met in November? ....You started chatting after that.....He knows what you look like....but you don't think he will find you as good as your photos?

Will the person you're in a relationship with mind? That would be my biggest concern.

[anneasquith]

how romantic !!

[Retrochic]

Sqad just because you need for 'titillation' with women other than your wife does not mean everyone does. Its quite feasible to be married to the same partner for years and still keep it fresh. It just takes a bit of imagination.

[missjulie]

Thank you for all your replies everyone.
I will let you know what I decide to do and I have taken everyone's opinion on board xxx

[Retrochic]

missjulie we will wait with baited breath we really will.

[B00]

Why are you even contemplating sex with this guy if you're that nervous?

Have a bit of self respect and dont. Yes sure meet him, but hold on to your dignity that little bit longer eh?

You can get your confidence back just by the sheer thrill of meeting and flirting, there's no need to lower yourself to actually sleeping with the guy.

[trt]

How long have you been in a relationship with your b/f, husband, live together?.

Is your sex life with him boring, so this is why you want somebody else, and is the person married who you might have a date with?

And lastly, have you got children?