Parents ....what Would You Do ? ...distraught

[dieseldick]

i had police onto my x wife approx 6 months ago ( if anyone can rem the post) last week i again had social services call on her as she was leaving my 7 yr old daughter everyday from 11am to sometimes 12 midnight basically to defend for herself, make her own dinner etc ( suer noodles or samwhich ) everyday. xwifey was away somewhere which is none of my business if she was working or with a man i do not have one iota . tonight i took a notion to drive over there and check up, all kids in street told me my daughter had went over onto the " big road near park " with another child alone the 2 of them, i tried call my daughter ,no answer, texted the xwife all i recieved was a barrage of abuse with the most vile language . i searched around near city park and centre then 30 min later my daughter rang me to tell me she was in her friends, but while she was talking to me x wife was heard screaming in background abusive vilest filth, my daughter has to listen to this language everyday. will i get social services involved again or not, my heads telling me if i let it calm dow a few weeks then maybe xwife will not be so aggressive . but thenm why should i continue to let my child grow up running the streets and listening to that kind of language everyday ? xwife hates me because i walked out 2 years ago its very plain to see and she will allways have the upmost disrespect towards me, she is an uneducated nasty woman from the north of thailand anyway and im sorry i ever set eyes in her. but this is about my child.

[jourdain2]

Is there any chance at all that you can record your ex-wife's outbursts to give you some proof? I wouldn't know how to go about it, but I'm sure it's possible. This is a dire situation for your daughter, but you need confirmatory proof of the hours she is left alone etc.. Only just seen this, this is first reaction, I'll think about it, poor kid, poor you.

[Mamyalynne]

Well after two visits from Social Services she hasn't changed her ways so doubtful she will this time, you really do need to sort this for your
child's sake.

[EDDIE51]

I would be seeking to get my child removed from the mother and gain custody my self. Hard and difficult but NOTHING is as important as the child's safety. This woman has proved she does not care for the child, you need to take parental responsibility for your own daughter! Even if it means giving up work and living off benefits ! Your child's well-being overrides all other considerations!

[jourdain2]

^^ Totally agree with EDDIE. I just don't know the best way to go about it. Can you bring your daughter to live with you if you find her wandering?

[EDDIE51]

Jourdain Yes, If I had found that situation , I would have just got my child into my car and taken her back to my home. Then I would inform the police and the social services of what I had done and why.

[jourdain2]

Nice to agree EDDIE.

DD have you got a friend, anyone, who could bear you out? Could go looking for your daughter with you and act as witness? I would scoop her up anyway next time she is left alone, as EDDIE says, her safety is paramount. You could try reporting this latest incident to Social Services and stating that you will take care of your child . This is not my specialist area, but how about her school? Most cases of neglect are picked up by schools - child is not clean, fed etc.. Check with them.

[EDDIE51]

Jourdain we may be on opposite sides over the EU but not on child care!
I have 5 children and 12 grandchildren I love them all unconditionally.

[jourdain2]

EDDIE Absolutely :)

[Cloverjo]

I agree with everyone who's answered. Can you look after your daughter yourself?
Talk to her school and social services, at least.

[Bathsheba]

Diesel,;.reading this has appalled me. I've looked back through some of your other posts but I can't see you mention that Social Services have been involved before.
This is dreadful....a 7 year old should never be allowed to roam the streets alone, or be left unsupervised at all. I really think that if you are still out of work at the moment you should take her to live with you, and claim whatever benefits you can until you can arrange a work/child care balance.

Baths
x x

[hc4361]

Do you live nearby?

[jennyjoan]

Die - very sad state of affairs - particularly for your little girl. Please do something.

[Islay]

Give up the holidays abroad and look after your daughter - go for full custody!

[ummmm]

My mum and dad split when I was 8. Although my mother was a great mother my dad still made sure he seen us most days. Then my mum got with an evil step father and my dad made even more effort.

What about her brothers? Do they not stick up for your daughter?

[dieseldick]

she has 2 thai half brothers both twin boys who do not play with her, do not care about her, they will mind her only because mum has told them to. thai men / boys are really not good to family members even in thailand they are notorious wife/woman beaters and mant many thai girls have told me this. anyway, my kid usually goes to gymnastics on saturdays and sunday school on sundays ( i allways bring her ) if im away her mum never brings her ! this week she has not called me to go to either which is strange, i think mum is telling her not to call me, its 1.30 pm time for sunday dinner and she still hasnt called me, she loves dinner at mine as she does not like her mums cooking.

i dont know where to turn or what to do, i have my own problems in life but my kid is paramount, if i thought i would win cusody i would go for it. i do not want to see my kid being taken into care.

stuck on what to do, im hoping if i stay away her mum will settle down and go back to some kind of normality. i am in no ways putting her mum down all time ( i am no angel myself and have my own problems ) but i have allways thought her mum has anger issues, depression and mental health issues but try explaining to a thai from a rural village with no education to go see a head doctor.

[EDDIE51]

I stand by my answer. You need to take parental responsibility and remove your daughter from the Mother! Staying away will not work, from what you say about the Mum it will just make things worse.
As you say, your child's welfare is paramount . beside that NOTHING else matters! Not your job, not where you will live, NOTHING! , get the child under your roof and then work on the other problems. Do it now , tomorrow may be too late!!!

[jourdain2]

Just seen this ----- STRONGLY second EDDIE. You cannot back off and leave a little girl in that situation - you can't. You are her Dad, please act like one - or else you are also complicit in her neglect. Please DD - do something now.

If I had not heard from my child for 2 days,, when I expected to hear from her, I would have been round at that house.

[EDDIE51]

I would not have even needed to ask this question. In the situation I would have just taken my daughter to live with me and informed the police and Social services what I had done and why! She is your daughter ! your responsibility.

[tamborine]

Be subtle. Offer your daughter private boarding education near you & tell mum its a rare opportunity for the girl, that could lead to uni & a professional career.

Its a ruse to get your daughter in your control but mother need not know that.

[EDDIE51]

From what DD has said about the Mother, I think she would be glad for her dad to take over responsibility for his daughter.