Bipolar Friend

[Scarlett]

I have a friend with bipolar. We have got on fine for many years but recently it seems like she has stopped trying/ is taking out her moods on me. The last few times I've seen her, she was fine all evening and then suddenly 'snapped'- demanded to leave, said she couldn't move or walk, turned into a zombie really. Is this normal bipolar behaviour?

[woofgang]

If she is bipolar then she can’t make it better by “trying” any more than an amputee cans are grow a new leg by trying. If you are very close, you might ask her how things are in general terms. It may be that she has had a change in medication or her medication doesn’t work as well as it has been....I probably would be careful how I expressed my concern though....saying “you have stopped trying”or “you are taking your moods out on me” is not likely to be helpful!

[Scarlett]

I agree Woofgang. I think that she tried very hard for a long time to not let her bipolar show to people, but because we are now closer friends, she is allowing herself to be herself- but it's a pity because I end up feeling like I've done something wrong when we go out, as the evening ends in a horrible atmosphere! I just wondered whether this severe exhaustion and low mood is part of her condition.

[woofgang]

not experienced it myself but yes I understand that it is.

[atalanta]

mood swings are certainly typical of bipolar behaviour. I have had friends with different levels of this problem, so have seen it from the outside, as it were. I have always longed to help, but I realise now that amateur help is worse than useless. Too often, the sufferer latches on to any non-professional offer of help, for fear of being sent to some "facility" by the professionals. If a sufferer latches on to non-professional help, they then fail to receive the help which will actually be of some use to them.

[wolf63]

I can't advise you on this but this website should be able to answer some of your questions. https://www.bipolaruk.org/Pages/FAQs/Category/information-for-family-and-friends

It is a complicated illness and is quite destructive with regards to friendships, ability to work and ability to cope in general.

[tamaris]

Yes she is troubled, it is a terrible illness