It's in his kiss ?

[Casey]

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but I don't enjoy kissing him much anymore and don't feel very passionate when we do 'other things' either. I care about him so much, we have had our ups and downs like any couple but I just don't feel the same 'emotionally' towards him as what i used to ...or i don't think i do anyway!! It's a confusing feeling because he would do anything for me and he is such a good person. I wondered if anyone can help me out on this situation and shed some light on what it is that might be wrong here?! Thanks

[joko]

some medication can lower the libido and 'fuzz' emotions and feelings. check out all medication you're on.

It happened to me and when I stopped the medication I felt like i'd 'woken up'

[Eels]

I suspect that the pill has an effect - I'm sure it does alter my emotional state.  Thing is, we all know what an important job the pill does ... catch 22!!!

[Casey]

Thanks for your answers so far. The only medication I am on is the Pill, but I have been on it for 6 years.. would this really have an affect on me now after this long?

[sophie_1003]

i would imagine that it has the same effect and you don't become immune to the side effects but I may be wrong. How long have you felt like this?

[t.bryant3360]

I am going through the same fase with my man. Like you said, every relationship go though their ups and downs. I think that when you go through the ups and downs. Mentally you get tired of going through the process of the problems. Like me I love him, but Its like I dont feel the same way, because of the things we have been through. This is not a professional answer. It is my opinion, cuz I am going through the same feelings right now. I hope my opinion helped you out. If you have anyone else respond to this question hit me on my email so I can read what they said.  Have a nice day.

[Casey]

sophie_1003, I have felt like this for about 8 months now. I just don't like kissing him that much and can't wait until it's over. This sounds absolutely awful doesn't it?!! Everytime I go to kiss him, I hope that it will feel like it always used to.. but it doesn't. It's the same when we are intimate aswell.  But when we are out together I enjoy his company so much! This is really confusing, but thank u all for your answers x

[Cockney_si]

Sounds like you need to take a break and evaluate exactly how you feel, emotionally and hormonally if that is the case.

Let him know the situation and how you are feeling so he knows exactly how the land lies.  If he is anything like a decent guy he'll be bending over backwards to help you out.

Don't leave him out of things if you do decide to go your seperate ways that's the worst thing yo could do.
Don't tell him you've been like this for 8 months that'll just make him worried and more confused.

Oh and don't rush into anything with anyone else just because someone else may be paying you attention that's not good after being in a long term relationship.

See your old mates or something when you're not seeing him.  If it all works out you'll grow to miss him sure enoug.

Although you may feel confused and emotionally up and down you need time to be yourself again.

Good luck.

[JoAnnMul]

Do you feel this way all the time ? For a few days each month when my hormones are all over the place I cant be 'bothered' with my bloke,Then as soon as they settle again I'm fine & love him to bits.. Could it be that your thinking & worrying about it so much that your actually 'making' yourself feel this way (hope that makes sense) But make sure your honest with him & yourself My bf wasn't best pleased when I told him that I couldn't bear him sometimes but now he knows he just gives me my space for them few days then expects extra cuddles when it passes again !!

[dove]

cockney-si

I think that is a really top answer.

I am assuming you are a fella, probably wrong, but hey you sound lovely.

(walks off smiling)

[Morrisonker]

3 years is a long time, my boy and i are coming up to that mark too and I see where you're coming from completely.  But I don't really think that it nessesarily means you need a break or whatever.  I bet sex isn't as explosive as it was when you first got together either, but you were prepared for that, it's normal.  So maybe kisses change too, there's not effort put in, or there's too much (far worse in my opinion, ergh, slobbery!).  Maybe one of you has got lazy with the kissing and/or other stuff?  Who knows.  I think sometimes people are too quick to point at a problem and see it as a way to leave their lover.  If you don't want to be with him anymore you'l going to be able to tell by more than a kiss, you know in your gut what the real problem is, I'm sure.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound condescending and preachy, I'm honestly in a similar situation but I do think it can be fixed.  It's a cliche but maybe communication is the key?

[Cockney_si]

Thanks Dove, yeah I'm a nice guy and I've been there before, my last girly had a hormonal imbalance (sounds a bit harsh but it's true) and wanted to take a gamble on some other guy, she did and some of the things she did and said to me at the time were not called for.

Oh well, I've moved on now and found someone new.  My new girly wants to see my old one and rub her nose in it but that won't really solve anything....