Destressing

[jennyjoan]

What works for you.

[tonyav]

I understand, NoM.
My son had a rescue dog a few days after Christmas ( a Beagle ), still only a pup and a lovely little fella.

[jennyjoan]

What works for you sounds pretty callous. But I am breaking my heart right now. I can't seem to get it right with Sista with the loss of her son after 12 years. I have had to represent her like with solicitors the law etc cos she wouldn't go there (he isn't dead) Now with innuendoes she accuses me of stealing from her, I keep envelopes closed (this was bus pass) - she doesn't mean it but I despair. I am so low low low . The void between her and I is massive. I cant seem to put it into words. I know for a fact she really loves to come to me of a Sunday but as soon as she gets out of the taxi - I am in for it. Dust, dinner, she doesn't like turnip, dog is depressed. Loads more but to top it tonight when driving her home we had definitely not my fault - I waited and waited for all clear but driver was driving about 70 mph in a 30mph (she doesn't understand and always a horrendous passenger for years and years) - we had a near miss.

When we arrived at her home she said - you are killing yourself some day and if I was you I'd give up driving.

But those words went far beyond that. Does anybody understand that. Sorry.

[Mamyalynne]

JJ, lots of seemingly smaller things roll up and gather into a huge ball of stress and worry and they grind you down at times - it's impossible for you to change your sister's entrenched behaviour.

She won't alter now, suggest a cab home in future and when she makes accusations just reply quietly 'Wrong' and carry on.

If you think you may benefit from some counselling ask at the GP Surgery.


Difficult times for you xxx

[tonyav]

Mmmmmm I think I understand where your coming from, jj.


- I waited and waited for all clear but driver was driving about 70 mph in a 30mph (she doesn't understand and always a horrendous passenger for years and years) - we had a near miss.

jj, there is always some idiot doing something stupid on the road. Not your fault that you had a near miss. Take no notice of sista saying you ought to pack up driving.

[jennyjoan]

thanks Mamy - has been difficult times for 12 years.

[jennyjoan]

thanks Tony for your answer but it goes far beyond my driving.

[tonyav]

I get the picture, jj. Lots of little things adding up to one big thing.

Do has Mamya suggests and suggest that sista gets a cab home.

[Mamyalynne]

We know you won't cut her out of your life, so that isn't an option.

She complains there's dust , silently pass her a duster.

Complains of a veg on her plate, silently scoop it off.

Keep calm and try not to react.

Then when she's gone home, congratulate yourself on how well you kept your cool.

[jennyjoan]

Oh I know what you are suggesting and you are perfectly correct but it doesn't alter the true picture. She will never ever get over him as he (son) was her one and only bird and if ever a mother existed it was her.

The thing is anybody who meets me thinks I am a happy jovial person it is unbelievable. But anyway will go on and on like everyone else. Sorry for being morbid.

[jennyjoan]

LOL at Mamy - that is what is I have been doing for 12 years. So congrats to me. yes tomorrow - will get out with little maxie.

[Mamyalynne]

You're not being morbid, but you simply have to realise this is how her grief has manifested itself, she'll not change now.


I realise it leaves you sidelined as you loved him and lost him too, but she will never accept that - you have to make peace with it.

[tonyav]

will get out with little maxie.


Good gal, jj. Think of good and happy things while your walking him.

[DaisyNonna]

Cross stitch
Walking
Reading
Washing up

[tonyav]

Washing up

Wot, washing up !. Is that a woman thing, Daisy.

Evening Daisy x.

[DaisyNonna]

No Tony
Mindless activity where at least my hands are warm

[tonyav]

at least my hands are warm

Ah I see, Daisy ( gloves do the same ya know ).

[DaisyNonna]

Forgot to mention online Scrabble
Took me over an hour to get onto this site so went to play Scrabble

[tonyav]

The old AB probs again then, Daisy.

[DaisyNonna]

Yes!
Really wanted to contribute to the Sherlock thread
Need to cuddle Martin Freeman

[tonyav]

Need to cuddle Martin Freeman


LOL, you women. Does he really look that cuddly.