Like wait around for ages....

[Cockney_si]

Why is it sometimes when you start up a new relationship with a female that they immediately get a selection of interested males.

My girly has the attention of her ex and another bloke that's twenty or so years older than her.  She's told both to back off and now they're mocking with statements like "it'll never last" and "he'll cheat on you".

I am determined to prove them wrong (after all it's no effort involved! in fulfiling that).

It just makes my blood boil.

[littlemissx]

it happens to alot of people.... when i last got into a relationship i then met two blokes round the same time... although i didnt tell the guy i was seeing i just told the other guys i was in a relationship so they knew nothing would happen

[AliFlump]

I know what you mean Si, when i first started with my boyf my ex text me for the first 6 months telling me how he was better and i could do better and how it would never last, but guess what 3  years later we're still together and happier than ever. Try not to let it bother you after all they are only jealous of you, just laugh it off, they are pathetic :-)

[metagirl]

its called pheromones. also, "the pack mentality" - it always happens. as soon as you start going out with some guy all the old boyfriends and old letchers come out. you've probably done it before, if you think about it.

[Jay70]

It happens the other way round too.  I think part of it is to do with in built instincs.  If a guy starts going out with a girl then other men think that she must really have something going for her espcially if the male partner is maybe well respected. i.e nice personality, looks etc. This then gets other males interested as to whats is so nice about her.  Also if they have a high opinion of themselves they may think that if he/she can get a date with that person then they are better and surley could

There is also the element of someones ego being knocked if an ex partner is seing someone else.  They may think they are better than them and think they still stand a chance.

[andy hughes]

It's biological. A woman in a new relationship releases an excess of pheromones - they make her eyes shine brighter, she smiles more, and more importantly, she exudes a 'mating' odour which is undetectable except by the subconcious of eligible males in the area - who respond accordingly. the pheromones that she is, or is about to become sexually adtive, so any males in the area will accept this as a signal to try and mate with her.

In our more 'civilised' times - this translates as interest, and possible down-talking of the chosen mate - I'm sure your girlfriend will ignore the attention - although she will appreciate it - that's the biological idea.

[spk]

men are like buses. They all come along at the same time. Sods law is all it boils down to

[irisred]

I call it 'hot buttered muffin syndrome'

No ones interested until someone else takes a bite, then they all want some!

Going through a similar thing atm!

[dove]

I reckon that when people have split up, for whatever reason , they feel a tad low in themselves.

when they then meet someone else they begin to "glow" again.  For this reason , other people know they feel good about themselves and tend to radiate happiness.  Hence people are interested once more.

hope that made sense. (walks away  sadly)

[mimififi]

I think also, when someone has finished in a relationship, esp if there were the finisher, they don't want you, but they don't want anyone else to want you either....

In  my experience some men although you are no longer seeing them, they still view themselves as having first dibs.

Old fasioned "Dog in a manger".

And also, Andy is right (I studied psychology and he's spot on.  Lots of subliminal messages that are interpreted by the brain that you don't even recognise you are interpreting.  Body lang, chemicals and even a change in voce tone/pitch.  When you are in a new relationship your brain chemistry is such that says; I'ma prize female/male and you should all want me to continue your gene pools.  Unfortunately, in our society, we are generally monogonous and so this causes behaviours of jealousy.  In the animal world, the males would fight it out and stick each other with their sharp horns to prove themselves the most worthy.  In our world, we just use empty threats and inaccurate predictions and lots of sulky expressions to hide the fact that you are the second best male....Think yourself lucky, if you were dogs you would have to be fighting another male who was trying to sniff your girly's posterior!!!!!)