My Boss Has Upset Me

[cris r]

I was asked into the office today to discuss our stores failings which i took on board I was then given a form about absences I was told i had already had five days off this year and because the company was coming down on all the absences and I should be having a warning. If I was to take up to six days I could face dismissal. I actually said what a load of bull. I felt i was being told basically i could not be ill. My boss said don't shoot the messenger.
He then went on to say do you know how many days I have had off since i started here .... None which made me feel even worse. I had already filled in the back to work form explaining my illness but he then went on to fill the form in front of me asking for my illness again, at this point I got up and said I'm not doing this and walked out of the office, it was my home time anyway. I felt really victimised as though I was a youngster taking days off here and there. Im 60 years old and never had across word with any other boss there. This one is new and likes to micro manage I don't feel like going back there but my husband says just go in and do your job. Although he did phone the boss and say he was not happy with me coming home distressed. How should I handle this any advice

[fiction-factory]

I used to get a husband who used to write in and ring in whenever I spoke to his wife. She typically had 70 days a year off every year- every conceivable absence- sore wrist, colds, stress, headaches, back pains- often certified- and took umbrage that I had the cheek even to raise the issues with her. So I sort of agree with deskdiary, but if it was a one off with someone just ringing to say their wife/husband was upset I wouldn't have minded- I may even have appreciated some feedback.

cris, I would go back, apologise for what you said, and let your manager know what you are going to do to try to improve things.

[fiction-factory]

It is good practice by the way for 'return to work' forms to be filled in together

[Deskdiary]

We conduct back to work chats and fill in the form together – this is just simply good practice.
Contrary to kvadlier, I consider 5 individual days off in a year to be a poor sickness record, and I’ve always been suspicious of people having the odd day off here and there. It obviously depends on the type of employee, but with some I always have my doubts it is sickness and is actually a ‘duvet-day’.
I have lost count the number of times people phone in with “flu” and are then back at work the following day. I’ve never had flu, but from what I understand flu is debilitating. So for ‘flu’ read a bit of a sniffle.
I also look for patterns – on two occasions I have let people go because of regular Monday absences.
It may not be helpful to compare somebody’s sickness record with your own, but I can’t help thinking that it is inevitable that you do: I haven’t had a day off for 10 years, and even then it was because I had my wisdom teeth removed under a general, so I struggle with the idea that some people have a lot of individual days off sick.
On the other hand, I have no problem with somebody having, say, a month off in one go if their illness warrants it.
Frankly, I think you’re being a precious and need to eat some humble pie.

[kvalidir]

I agree with you about flu, having had flu it takes you three weeks to feel anything like normal but lots of things do warrant single days off- what about migraines, cluster headaches, hypo's ( for diabetics obviously), asthma attacks, vomiting bugs, seizure recovery in epileptics- people have lots of reasons for having single days off reasonably frequently. I can't understand the idea some people seem to have that someone should come into work ill or be interrogated about why they haven't when they return. I appreciated that there are HR protocols in larger companies, but if you've worked somewhere for ten years, got on well with all the Managers then suddenly find there is one you can't get along with, it's difficult I imagine.

[naomi24]

kvalidir, I see no suggestion of ill feeling between the OP and her manager. He is simply following company protocol. I've no doubt that if she reads her contract of employment, all will be explained to her.

[kvalidir]

It just appears odd to me that the OP has never had an issues with previous managers, that might be because he's a new broom, or perhaps she resents him for some reason, or because previous managers had a better 'bedside manner' with company protocols, or perhaps because he simply ins't very nice- who knows, I was trying to illustrate that there are numerous reasons for someone taking odd days off, quite legitimately and I would actually get quite irritated if my word wasn't taken for it too, or i was compared to someone else, as it has a deeper connotation that perhaps the person thinks you are dishonest and therefore creates a very bad atmosphere between two people who have to work together. I imagine that's what's upset the OP.

[RATTER15]

We have just had the Bradford Factor introduced into our company. To be honest I cant even be bothered to read it and try to work out what the hell it all means. http://www.bradfordfactorcalculator.com/guides/bradford_factor_introduction.html

I have on average 2 sick days off a year, so I wont be worrying too much about it!

[murraymints]

regardless of any explanations... if the company has a 6 day policy which he was merely pointing out and following procedures. then he is in no way being discriminatory and the OP's flounce , verbal insult, non cooperation and husband's input may well have resulted in a situation the manager can /will not tolerate and insubordination/misconduct procedures are activated....in many places instant dismissal...

[dannyk13]

Ratter, your link is coming up as a blocked harmful website.

[Baldric]

Kval, OP says
///never had a cross word with any other boss there. This one is new and likes to micro manage///

[RATTER15]

Danny it is perfectly safe, you virus scanner a little sensitive maybe.

[fiction-factory]

> I was trying to illustrate that there are numerous reasons for someone taking odd days off, quite legitimately and I would actually get quite irritated if my word wasn't taken for it too,

I think you are misunderstanding the issue here kvalidir. the issue is of capability. Regardless of the genuinness of the absences there comes a point where an employer has to say it is affecting the running of the business- the employee is being paid but is not in work and others are having to try to cover.

[murraymints]

and even having doctor's certificates for bona fide sickness does not protect a job .. an employer pays for a days work and if a recurring illness means the employee is simply not fit or capable then the employer will find someone that can do the job

[murraymints]

and... the op's conduct just might have sealed her fate anyway..

[murraymints]

if it were me.. i would go in waving a white flag apologise, promise to do better , keep my head down, cooperate and shut up... and gag husband !

[cris r]

Well have read all the answers to my problem and I am surprised at the amount of people willing to sit and let a boss walk all over them. Very unusual in this day and age we all have the right to care and consideration. Nobody be it a boss or company policy has the right to make a person feel guilty and uncomfortable whilst having a sick day. At first I was upset that my husband got involved but he is a manager and has to deal with this kind of thing all the time and he felt it was totally out of order the way it was managed.
On a brighter note I went into work on my husbands advice with every intention of resigning the boss asked me me into his office where he apologised a thousand times for upsetting me he said he could have handled it better also he knows that he ( his words rubs people up sometimes) he was still very robot like in his approach to the problem saying this is company policy and the forms had to be filled in. I them pointed out that i had not been made aware of this form it has only been in circulation six months an error on his part. If I had of know I would have been prepared for the interrogation. He did comment that it was unprofesional of me to walk out during this meeting at which I pointed out it was also unprofessional to brag that he had never had a day off making me feel awful and this is why I walked out. As i said no one has the right to make anyone feel bad. To end this my area manager phoned my husband this morning saying he would have done the same thing and also appoligised for his behaviour telling him he had had a severe reprimand whilst saying he is not good at getting the company policies over tactfully whilst praising my good work over the past ten years. As I stated I will take criticism when its nessesary I will follow company rules when I know about them. If I don't agree with the company rules I will say so... not that it would change them but i have a right to my say

[Deskdiary]

"To end this my area manager phoned my husband this morning saying he would have done the same thing [flounced out] and also appoligised for his [the manager's] behaviour telling him he had had a severe reprimand..."

If this is true, which I doubt it is, then the area manager is (a) indiscreet, and (b) stupid.

[murraymints]

unlikely..or very very unprofessional

[Baldric]

I'm retired now, I was a Boss for a short time.
If I'd have had the "what a load of bull" comment followed by the
"I'm not doing this and walked out of the office" reaction you would be looking at 'The Highway'
It would be all neat and tidy and Kiss your Salary Goodbye.
Your move.

[Mamyalynne]

Glad there's been a resolution of sorts and you and the boss can now get along better.