Lost Thank You Messages

[Coppit]

My daughter X and me live in the west of England, my son and his daughter Y are in Kent. At Christmas I sent Y a generous cash gift but never had any thanks. X also sent her a gift - no message either. I had quiet word with my son who came back saying that Y says she had sent us cards, so there must be something wrong with our postal service, (What about hers?!).
The question is, are we, me and X right to feel a bit upset that no message has been received direct (not even by phone or email) from Y - or are we being unreasonable?

[gness]

It doesn't have to be, Ummmm.....I'd have been happy with a call, text, email......just to say thanks....I'd then know they haven't put my envelope in their jeans pocket and forgotten about it till it comes out of the washing machine..... ;-)

[murraymints]

As a child we were always encouraged to write thank you notes....a custom I continue to follow...it demonstrates a true heartfelt thanks more than a cursory phone call.... in my opinion....manners maketh the man... very true !

[bednobs]

I think (my) order of preference would be :
Card
Call
Text

[Coppit]

Mamyalynne, I didn't take offence at all - that's why I added the !

Just in case it's not clear I don't believe any cards were sent - and after Z is 21 - no more money.

TKS for all comments.

[Islay]

Its not bad manners to make a call of thanks - some very strange ideas about good manner on here imo - given how some behave!!

[bednobs]

no-one has said t's bad manners to call have they?

[gness]

A call to say thank you isn't bad manners at all.....I think we are saying, well I certainly am, that not saying thank you in some form is very bad manners...x

[Mamyalynne]

Coppit - good.x

Calls are good too, you can have a chat as well.

[Sqad]

"Its not bad manners to make a call of thanks"

Islay....who said it was ?

[Islay]

//it demonstrates a true heartfelt thanks more than a cursory phone call.... in my opinion....manners maketh the man... very true ! //
The inference is here

[Sqad]

LOL...OK.....the "inference" is there.

[gness]

Well some of us old folk.....me and Minty for example....didn't have phones in our youth....pigeons were unreliable so we got into the habit of writing letters and cards...and it sort of stuck......I'll sometimes find an amusing and appropriate card to thank folk for their gifts...just for fun..... :-)

[jourdain2]

My sister and I had to write all our thank-you letters before the school holiday was over. I followed the same procedure with my children and my grandchildren also write thank-yous from as soon as they can write- the 6 yr-olds was very pleasing this year. :)
I expect no less; a thank-you (in any form) is simply good manners and I would stop sending presents were none forthcoming.

[ummmm]

Of course a thank you is good manners I just think it doesn't really matter what form it comes in.

In my defence t though presents I received were from people local so we'd go and thank them in person.

[Peter Pedant]

I was brought up to thank for presents by letter
altho I do it by email now

and feel a bit affronted that there is silence when I open my wallet

[Peter Pedant]

// As a child we were always encouraged to write thank you notes..// ditto

fifty years later I was the only one to thank Milord or whomever, for a dinner ( twenty attended ) -
that sort of got me writing punctiliously

[Coppit]

Just to conclude, a little humour, following mention of 'manners maketh the man'.

At my school, a miserable, thin-lipped, erudite and long-winded history master was fond of handing out punishments of writing 100 lines.

One of them was, Manners makyth man is the motto of Winchester College, but that sentiment need not necessarily be confined to that establishment.

And, for anyone caught leaning back on the rear legs of a wooden chair.

Rocking around on rickety receptacles is regrettable, reprehensible and wrong.

If you'd had to write those out 100 times - you'd not forget them either!

[Mamyalynne]

Nice one.

[jennyjoan]

Many years ago a very good friend of my mother gave me a Big Big Ten Bob Note and I thought it was wonderful. However my mother who was in dire straits financially - said "you know I'll give you a big big shiny coin for that oul bit o paper". Did she think I was daft as well as deaf. Gave it to her tho LOL

[ummmm]

Lol...what I used to do with my kids is make them write letters of apology when they were naughty. If they made a spelling mistake I'd make them start again. After they'd written it 3 or 4 times the message sinks in.