Do you believe in fate?

[Tock389]

Do any ABers believe in fate? I just wondered, because I'm going through a bit of a low patch at the moment. There is a threat of redundancies at work, which could prevent me getting my own place with a mortgage. I'm also single, despite going out on lots of dates recently. I just wondered if better things are fated to happen to me? I'm not sitting at home, waiting for things to happen - I'm actively seeking new jobs, and am obviously keeping an eye out for the ladies, but do people believe what is meant to be is meant to be? This latest run of things is starting to knock my self-confidence.....

What do you think?

[Thaisa]

I am a firm believer in fate. I think life is mapped out for you and everything happens for a reason.

I also believe nothing lasts forever....not even your troubles....

[pinkiefriend]

I am kind of in the same boat as you. I have just split with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and my self confidence is shattered at the moment but I believe in fate! What's for you will not go by you.

I think it was fate meeting my ex partner and I also think it is fate that we have split up.

Bigger better things out there for me and for you too!!

[boobesque]

i am a believer in fate, i got kicked out of my old house, resulting in the breakdown of a very bad marriage, started going out again to a new pub, this pub had someone chuck a bucket of poop in it, so me and my best mate went to an old haunt and i met someone who worked there and fancied instantly, was going to give him my number but he wasnt there the next week, so i gave it to another barman to give to him, he texted me and we got together, he said if i had given him my number he would have screwed it up and chucked it cos he got numbers all the time, but he was curious as to who i was, we moved in together after 4 months and 18 months on we are still together and planning on getting married.

[sophieb]

I never used to believe in fate until we went on holiday this year. Me and the kids went to egypt and were going to stay with my brother in london and fly out on 8th July. this would have meant being on the tube on the morning of the 7th! However plans were changed and we flew a week earlier thereby avoiding staying in The Gazala Gardens Hotel in Sharm-el-Sheik(went to another hotel 3 miles away!) On our return my friend slept in and picked us up at the airport late-missing a fatal motorway pile up by 1/2 hour. I now believe that there must be something that guides us.

[Cockney_si]

Oh yeah I was obsessed to the point it was making me feel down once when I was single.

Fate has stepped in and turned my life around, it's also made it worse too.

We have to experience the bad times to appreaciate the good times too!

[David H]

Before I read the other answers so I don't get influenced, the bottom line is we don't know. And if there is fate, your own is an example it needn't be good or bad, and in my experience there's little sense to anything in my own life.

But the other side is synchronicity, where strange names are heard two or three times in a day or week after never hearing them before, and other similar collections of strange events happening one after another, such as emails or letters all being delivered at once despite being expected at different times. Something is going on but I still see no pattern there.

[indian]

I am a firm believer in fate, but that doesn't mean you just sit there and wait for things to happen. You've still got to live your life. What happens will happen. Maybe now is not the right time for you to have a partner or your own place.

Things might not make sense now but it'll all fall into place when you look back on it in afew years time.

We all have times when we loose confidence. There's no reason why you can't be happy again and it doesn't have to include a girlfriend or a house.

[Andy008]

Ever seen a house fly crash into a window attempting to escape?

Ever seen a house fly crash into a window attempting to escape?

Ever seen a house fly crash into a window attempting to escape?

Do what you have always done, get what you have always got.

To paraphrase Bobby Gould -

"The road to ruin is paved with excuses"

"The road to ruin is paved with excuses"

"The road to ruin is paved with excuses"

"t

[GraceAnais]

i definitely believe in fate, but i also think we have to have some input in our own destinys. my life has been full of 'clouds with a silver lining'. we have to realise that if we could go back in the past and change one tiny thing about our lives, it would alter everything (a bit like Sliding Doors, to quote a crap film).

A few years ago i was having a rubbish time. i was living in a house share and it all went wrong. i was so broke and unhappy, i moved back home (100 miles from where i was).i had no friends and i was also in a crap relationship. it was a really low time; despite that the events that occured during that crap time have all had an effect on where i am in my life right now. i'd never want to go back and live through that dismal year again, but it taught me so much and lead me down a much better path than i originally was on.

i'm single at the moment too, and its definitely a time when we look at our lives and question them more (people in relationships are too busying snuggling to question the meaning of life!) about 5 months ago being single was really getting me down, but now i realise its probably for the best that i was single during that time. i've learnt a lot of stuff about myself and now i feel the next relationship i have will be better because i've had time to consider what i want. everything in life happens for a reason; and even bad times lead on to brilliant things.

to quote Oscar wilde, 'it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.'

When it comes to bad times just ride the storm; and learn everything you can from it. adversity really is the greatest teacher!

[sunflower68]

Tock just to add another quote for you, this time from the lovely Dolly Parton : "You have to see a lot of rain before you get a rainbow".

I believe in fate to a certain extent; it is lovely when things go your way and after a lot of heartache it can seem so 'out of nowhere' that we like to put a label to it. Having said that I firmly believe fate brought me and my husband together! If it is a partner you wish for more than anything, your over-keenness may be offputting. These things will happen if they are meant to (fate?). Also, when I feel things are getting on top of me I put them in perspective. I know it's a bit grim but imagine you and your family are homeless in a war- torn country, with winter coming in, food is scarce..........you'll soon feel better I promise you. Good luck .

[mibn2cweus]

Fate is what happens when we relinquish control over our lives. Ask yourself these two questions: Who/what is influencing the direction in which my life is going? How do I gain more control over my life?

The purpose of the first question is to take inventory of what is controlling your destiny. This shows you where the reins are that you must access to steer yourself towards your goals. Once you get to a point where you are confronted with choices than you need to prioritize by what will give the best results. Steer away from goals with rewards which don�t justify the time, energy and risk of failure needed to achieve them, instead steer towards goals that yield satisfactory rewards. Remember that success is the greatest motivator.

The reason for the second question is to understand where choice comes from and what our goals should be. Other (non-human) species have very little choice but to follow their instinctual programming. We however have the capacity to understand what we are and what will make our lives better. This is what makes choice possible and therefore cultivating this ability should direct our goals. Once this is in place our possibilities grow exponentially.

One other point I�d like to make is that questioning our ability to make a difference in our lives is a self-fulfilling prophecy. By directing our attention away from what we could be doing we leave no alternative but to succumb to fate.