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Anorexia Vs Morbid Obesity
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Watching a programme anorexic ladies I am struck by how these ladies are treated with sympathy and caring and how there is help out there for them. But when it comes to obesity you are told to eat less and move more and are treated with complete derision.
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Many people who have had bariatric surgery are unable to deal with the loose skin they get as a result and the NHS won't remove it. It's not just unsightly but can cause discomfort and infections and hinder exercise. I can understand anyone putting weight on, it's so easy to do for most of us but the morbidly obese have other issues either psychiatric, emotional...
16:18 Mon 22nd Oct 2018
BagPussAA, //comfort eating… unhealthy relationship with food//
I think that’s the crux of the matter. Many overweight people seem to have a love affair with food. My friend has been dieting for years – no one knows more about diets than she does. She cooks without fat, oil or salt but after the main course she presents a mound of cakes which she thinks is fine because everything else she’s served is bland and tasteless. “Naughty but nice” is her motto – and for obvious reasons she’s still fat.
I think that’s the crux of the matter. Many overweight people seem to have a love affair with food. My friend has been dieting for years – no one knows more about diets than she does. She cooks without fat, oil or salt but after the main course she presents a mound of cakes which she thinks is fine because everything else she’s served is bland and tasteless. “Naughty but nice” is her motto – and for obvious reasons she’s still fat.
Bagpus, how awful for you :(
Apologies if I have the wrong person, or if you didn't want it mentioning on another thread, I honestly can't remember if it is you who lives a sub life for want of a better phrase of it on here but I think it was, if so could your master not help you with food very specifically as part of life play? I appreciate he probably already is helping with the anxiety issue area and thus possibly doing this as well anyway if you are living 24/7.
Apologies if it's not you, and please don't derail this anyone else, this is a serious suggestion to help a member.
Apologies if I have the wrong person, or if you didn't want it mentioning on another thread, I honestly can't remember if it is you who lives a sub life for want of a better phrase of it on here but I think it was, if so could your master not help you with food very specifically as part of life play? I appreciate he probably already is helping with the anxiety issue area and thus possibly doing this as well anyway if you are living 24/7.
Apologies if it's not you, and please don't derail this anyone else, this is a serious suggestion to help a member.
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We are lucky in the west kids in that we have a specialist weight management service that includes counselling. Cut backs have reduced the centre's where it is offered though.
I do eat pretty well most of the time now, and my portion sizes have halved. But and it is a big but sometimes anxiety, loneliness or in my case exposure to a lot of noise stress will drive me to the kitchen. Food as distraction.
I described it like this
Food is a crutch, and the stick I beat myself with
My best friend, my worst enemy
The thing I control but at times controls me
A tool and a weapon of self destruction
Fuel and poison
And that's the issue, you can give up other harmful behaviours like drinking, drugs and gambling but food can't be treated with avoidance.
I do eat pretty well most of the time now, and my portion sizes have halved. But and it is a big but sometimes anxiety, loneliness or in my case exposure to a lot of noise stress will drive me to the kitchen. Food as distraction.
I described it like this
Food is a crutch, and the stick I beat myself with
My best friend, my worst enemy
The thing I control but at times controls me
A tool and a weapon of self destruction
Fuel and poison
And that's the issue, you can give up other harmful behaviours like drinking, drugs and gambling but food can't be treated with avoidance.
There does seem to be some sort of Puritanical response to this.
'Abstaining' from something is more praiseworthy than 'indulging' in it.
Abstention shows a strength of mind and character in being able to override an urge; whereas Indulgence shows lack of character in giving way to temptation and base urges.
It is a load of nonsense and used as yet another stick with which to beat those already in a vulnerable state.
'Abstaining' from something is more praiseworthy than 'indulging' in it.
Abstention shows a strength of mind and character in being able to override an urge; whereas Indulgence shows lack of character in giving way to temptation and base urges.
It is a load of nonsense and used as yet another stick with which to beat those already in a vulnerable state.
Something I have found is that some meds seem to generate specific cravings and if my anti depressants are increased I will be desperate for carbohydrates until I get used to the dose. Like I said mostly now I have far better control but I am usually fairly active and intelligent enough to understand why sometimes that isn't the case. But when life is rubbish, and you are so low you don't think anything matters you can generate a drowsiness with refined carbs that is almost drug like and helps you escape. I have miles to go yet, losing Dave who was a bad food influence has helped. Working through the bad habits from childhood, we had very little money for treats and sweets were cheap back then is not easy and takes huge efforts which some people can't see themselves capable of. Judgemental behaviour doesn't help it, might make the person judging feel better about themselves like watching an episode of JK, as my mum says at least we were not that dysfunctional.
Going back to the original OP. Rockrose assumes from one TV programme, that all Anorexics are treated with sympathy and care. The same conclusions could be made about Obese people if a similar biased programme had been made on the Morbidly obese.
Very thin people are treated with derision as well. It is very distressing to be told 'OMG you are so thin you need a good meal! or 'pull yourself together do you really think you look good that thin?!
Its much more acceptable to tell someone they are looking thin than fat and that does not mean it hurts any less than being told you are fat (which most people avoid). It is also just as difficult to get treatment for an Anorexic, difference being there are many more Morbidly Obese than Anorexics.
Very thin people are treated with derision as well. It is very distressing to be told 'OMG you are so thin you need a good meal! or 'pull yourself together do you really think you look good that thin?!
Its much more acceptable to tell someone they are looking thin than fat and that does not mean it hurts any less than being told you are fat (which most people avoid). It is also just as difficult to get treatment for an Anorexic, difference being there are many more Morbidly Obese than Anorexics.
This thread was going along nicely then it goes down hill thanks to the usual crew!.
Thanks to those that stuck to a debate without getting personal.
One cannot go without food - it is incredibly difficult to 'abstain' from the food groups that cause weight gain on a long term basis, when you are morbidly obese and have an extreme amount of weight to lose we are talking about abstaining for years - impossible.
Watching this program yesterday I was struck as to how similar the 2 conditions were, when a lady discussed the stress she felt when it came to eating was similar to how I felt - the disgust of people watching you eat was horrendous and difficult to cope with.
Thanks to those that stuck to a debate without getting personal.
One cannot go without food - it is incredibly difficult to 'abstain' from the food groups that cause weight gain on a long term basis, when you are morbidly obese and have an extreme amount of weight to lose we are talking about abstaining for years - impossible.
Watching this program yesterday I was struck as to how similar the 2 conditions were, when a lady discussed the stress she felt when it came to eating was similar to how I felt - the disgust of people watching you eat was horrendous and difficult to cope with.
JTH
//It is a load of nonsense and used as yet another stick with which to beat those already in a vulnerable state.//
Actually some people could not care less about how big someone is. You are presuming everyone who is obese is in a vulnerable state. I have a friend who must be at least 20 stone and is extremely happy in her skin and a lovely person to boot. She would laugh herself sick if you told her she was 'vulnerable'.
//It is a load of nonsense and used as yet another stick with which to beat those already in a vulnerable state.//
Actually some people could not care less about how big someone is. You are presuming everyone who is obese is in a vulnerable state. I have a friend who must be at least 20 stone and is extremely happy in her skin and a lovely person to boot. She would laugh herself sick if you told her she was 'vulnerable'.
Rockrose I can't see how any of this has become 'personal' other than I gather you are overweight. People are giving their opinions on your OP in what I deduce as adult non judgmental. If you are taking it personally then perhaps you are not in the right place at the moment to look at the subject objectively.
AL lets be honest here - you set out to cause trouble on this thread with your initial comments aimed at me not mentioning men (when I did) and then your comment about stuffing our faces.
I am very open about my weight and have never been accused of not being objective.
But then AL you have a history of doing this don't you my dear.
I am very open about my weight and have never been accused of not being objective.
But then AL you have a history of doing this don't you my dear.
It seems to be a human condition to find a reason to feel that we are better than somebody else and I think it reflects on what people feel about themselves.
I have an obese relative and one of her slim friends often moan to her about how fat they feel and when pulled up about it they say it's 'different' for her as if being slim is the most important aspect of her life.
People are often critical of those who have the same 'bad' trait as them but can't see it in themselves, or won't admit to it to themselves.
If a person is highly critical of another for something that has not effect on them whatsoever it says more about the critic than the recipient.
I have an obese relative and one of her slim friends often moan to her about how fat they feel and when pulled up about it they say it's 'different' for her as if being slim is the most important aspect of her life.
People are often critical of those who have the same 'bad' trait as them but can't see it in themselves, or won't admit to it to themselves.
If a person is highly critical of another for something that has not effect on them whatsoever it says more about the critic than the recipient.
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