Am Feeling Quite Desolated

[albaqwerty]

My fil has had various health issues over the years - this time though looks like the end is drawing near.
Recent admission to hospital is due to kidney failure. Last night I was told that all meds have been stopped.
(Inhalers, various meds for copd and so on)
It dawned on me that he has been my FIL longer than my dad was my dad.
Albeit, just by 2 years - I'm going to miss him an awful lot.
No question really, but if a question needs to be asked - who decides on the doctor's advice to stop all meds?

[Mamyalynne]

I can't answer your question, it's usually a team decision.

I can understand that sense of impending loss - a helplessness like no other.

I feel for you.x

[Eleena]

I echo mamyas thoughts alba x

[Tilly2]

Sorry to hear this, Alba. I hope it's a peaceful ending for your FIL.

[maggiebee]

Not good news alba. Always feel completely helpless when faced with situations like yours.

[chrissa1]

So sorry to read this, alba.

[Barmaid]

Im so sorry Alba. Having lost my own fil earlier this year I have some idea of how you are feeling. It is having repucussions even now.

Ideally, the stopping meds should have been in consultation with the patient. If he cannot consent, it should be in consultation with the family. However, very often it is a "night follows day" situation and once the meds cease to have any effect it is no real decision. Medics will not (and indeed to some extent cannot) medicate when there is no benefit.

I feel for you, I really do. I just wish you strength over the coming days.

[ChillDoubt]

My sympathies.
I’d concur with what BM has said. Such decisions are never taken lightly by any consultant when moving into the ‘TLC’ phase of care and despite any misgivings they are always done with the patients best interests at heart.
Thoughts with you.

[Baldric]

Thoughts are with you Alba, so sorry to hear this.

[kvalidir]

So sorry to hear this Alba :( xxx

[albaqwerty]

thank you all for your very kind comments.
It's always tough.
xx

[rowanwitch]

Doctors decision. Usually discussed with patient if they are competent sometimes key family members but in the end its down to the medical staff.

[marval]

Sorry to hear this Alba, I hope his end is peaceful.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xx

[fbg40]

Can't imagine how you must be feeling, try and stay strong through these difficult times.
FBG40

[Patsy33]

My Father in law was more of a father to me than my own. Not saying that's the case with you, but feel your pain. Tell him what a wonderful fIL he's been. A tough time Albs. I should imagine its medical team who decide this. I had same with my mum. She lasted 4 days after meds were stopped. Thinking of you. X

[-SharonA-]

Alba, my thoughts are with you at this trying time.

[TonyV]

Alba sorry to hear your situation.
Same happened to my Mother a couple of years ago but there was nothing more medical staff could do
My thoughts are with you x

[mightymouse]

So sorry, So sad.

[anneasquith]

I'm sorry alba.

[Old_Geezer]

Sorry to hear. Hope you find the strength to cope at this time.

[DTCwordfan]

Keep strong albs, but then choose your moments to release.....not easy, but as long as he passes away with the family love there. Thinking of you.