Corona Virus Help Please

[elfin12]

I am almost 76 years old, my sisters funeral is tomorrow, and my doctor has advised me not to go, I could not live with myself if I did not say goodbye to my only sister, what do I do ??? I understand that I will be amongst a lot of people,but I am in despair. just a few words from someone would help as I have no other family in the UK, and feel so alone right now.

[pixie374]

Maybe controversial here, but I think it is your risk... and your choice. If you have recently been in contact with others, keep as much distance as you can, to protect anybody older.

[pixie374]

And, so sorry xx

[dannyk13]

Would it be possible to arrange a visit to the funeral parlour so you could say goodbye to her?

[elfin12]

Danny, she died over a week ago, it would not be possible to see her now, but thanks for the kind thought.

[elliemay1]

Has your doctor advised you not to go because of your age or have you an underlying condition?

[Maydup]

Do you have Coronavirus elfin?

[Theland]

If I were in your position, I would go.
The mental turmoil of not going is not worth it.
Talk to your Answerbank family, and go.

[NickorWan]

I am sure your sister would want you to stay safe.

[woofgang]

Your sister won't be at the funeral ......her spirit is where you are and I am sure she would not want to put yourself at risk. Stay home, remember her at home, pray if that is your practice and stay safe.

[Prudie]

Sorry to hear of your loss and dilemma. Agree with Pixie that ultimately this is your choice. Your doctor could only say that to you as he couldn't risk saying go and then you caught it and blamed him :-) If you feel strongly and can take all precautions - keep distance, don't touch people, wear gloves and sanitise before and after then you may think the risk is suitably minimised.

[rowanwitch]

I agree a private farewell at the funeral directors might be better but also remember the body is only the shell a person moved around in, you can say goodbye anywhere. My late husband had a pure cremation.. His wish so I couldn't say goodbye in any formal ceremony. It doesn't mean you loved them less. I am sure she would want you to take care of yourself.

[johnny.5]

Hi Elfin
sorry for your loss

how about you skip the funeral but go to her final resting place on your own or with a close friend and say your goodbyes on a one to one basis . I'm sure your sister will understand

[elfin12]

I have several conditions and take drugs for them, I have not seen my doctor, our local medical practice has been closed since Saturday, and doctors only give advice over the phone.

[cashier]

It has to be your choice elfin, but in the same situation I would go.

[-SharonA-]

I too would go. But is is your choice and as you feel strongly, go!

[elfin12]

Thanks to everyone, I will take your advice and phone the funeral directors now, and see if I can go along the to see her coffin.GOD I can not think straight, and tears keep coming, I need a cuddle, I will contact my own minister and see if he can come and speak to me. thank you everyone for your help, XXXXX

[jim360]

It isn't just your risk, though. Catch Coronavirus and you may pass it on to someone even more vulnerable than yourself.

It's a horrible situation to be in. If you can be sure you're taking all the necessary precautions then by all means go, not to be able to say goodbye is horrible, but it's not a decision you can make in isolation of the possible impact on others.

[Peter Pedant]

take a taxi or drive yourself and keep away by 50 yd
seems straightforward

not attending a funeral when you want to - can be heart wrenching and see above - my way is just one way around it

I have been excluded from various funerals
and asked also why did I turn up, I didnt know or couldnt have known the deceased (*)
and it boils down to they have no idea of you and your relations with the deceased.

(*) I had known him for 50 y I have no idea why they hadnt noticed

[maggiebee]

So sorry for your loss elfin. Some good advice been given. Wish I could give you a hug but here's a virtual one ((( ))) x

[andres]

It is probably too late to arrange a live streaming but maybe, if permission from the church can be obtained, someone could video the funeral for you. This is perfectly acceptable nowadays.