My Arris Hurts

[nailit]

Don't quiet know how a telephone conversation would go with a GP when complaining about a pain in the ****
It might be piles.
But how the hell can a telephone conversation determine that?

My *** hurts while defecating
Ive already had a colonoscopy where pre-cancerous bits were cut out and another where internal piles were injected.
My *** hurts
What the hell Am I supposed to do?
I need it looking into...literally!

[nailit]

//Just crack on//
Any other contenders?
Crack, bum, behind, marmite motorway?

[nailit]

Anyone else want to laugh at my discomfort?
Feel free...
Cant get to see a friggin doctor either.

[Mamyalynne]

Have you got some cream/ointment?

[nailit]

//Its either piles or a fissure in ano.//
Without examining just how would you know that?
And what is ano?

[Buenchico]

Despite the addition of a humorous remark, Ellipsis's advice was sound. Phone your GPs surgery for an initial consultation with a doctor by phone. Then, if he/she deems it necessary, you'll be given an appointment in person at the surgery. (I went down that route myself a few weeks ago. GPs will see patients at their surgery if the matter can't be dealt with by phone).

[nailit]

//Have you got some cream/ointment?//
Its internal...
bit reluctant to firk up my arris with creams mamy.

[-SharonA-]

You will have to moon on zoom!!!

[Barsel]

Why can't you get to see a doctor? Have you phone and asked for a telephone consultation?

[Theland]

I've been worried about bowel cancer symptoms for ages.
My consultant has moved on and the hospital have been no help at all.
Their clinic nurses told me to go to A&E !
Inbloodycredible!!!.
The poor old NHS is creaking.
I'm very sorry for you Nailit, I've had Crohns for 17 years and usually get proper?y examined every two years at least, sometimes more, but this lack of care is worrying.
I feel very very sorry for your pain.
Its not nice.
And no, I won't make Jokes!

Oh blow it! I will! ''There you are Nailit, my prayer worked on you!''

(Oh do forgive me!)

[nailit]

//GPs will see patients at their surgery if the matter can't be dealt with by phone//

Yeah, course they will Chris.
Sorry to be a nay-sayer, but no they wont (at least not around these parts)

[calmck]

The tube of cream should have an applicator to apply the cream internally

[Mamyalynne]

Pile cream comes with an applicator, easy to use until you can get an appointment.

[Theland]

You need stool softener like, Cosmocol. GP can prescribe by phone or online.
Definitely makes the job less painful.

[calmck]

Make sure you clean well after having a p--. If it is haemorrhoids they can itch and hurt if not clean. Wet wipes are good for this

[nailit]

All assuming that I have piles???

[Barsel]

//GPs will see patients at their surgery if the matter can't be dealt with by phone//
Perhaps it can be dealt with on the phone, but if it can't, then ask for an appointment so you can be given a diagnosis and then the correct treatment.

[Theland]

A & E Doctor to Nailit :- '' Tell me Mr Nailit, how did you get that bicycle pump stuck up there?''

Nailit :- '' Some joker named Theland told me it would make a good pile applicator! ''

[Mamyalynne]

No one is assuming anything, we are simply offering you ways to get relief until you can get the appointment you want.

[nailit]

Ive HAD piles,
I know what they are...these are NOT piles.
My Anus hurts...constantly...Feel like ive got a blockage. Can never empty myself competly without blood showing.

[nailit]

Theland,
Good to see your humour back again
;-)