I've been trying to work out what really ought to be in a baby box. Here are a few suggestions from me:
1. A biological cleaner for getting baby vomit out of your clothes ;
2. Ear plugs to shut out the noise of all that crying ;
3. A book on child psychology, which includes the teenage years, so that you can realise that the worst is yet to come ;
4. A list of web links to parenting websites, so that you can brag that your baby is taller/heavier/brighter/chubbier/more talented/more artistic/etc than everyone else's ;
5. A tape measure for the parents of baby boys, so that they can brag that their son can pee higher into the air than anyone else's ;
6. A bottle of gin, to calm the mother's nerves ;
7. Another bottle of gin, to get the little darling to go to sleep ;
8. A large supply of Valium for Mum.