My best friend

[Scarlett]

My best friend is driving me mad. I have recently become good friends with a man who I work with. We play in a band together and therefore rehearse and record etc. We are both very passionate about music. He is happily married with kids. I am single. My best friend is calling me a hussy because I am friends with this man. We have NEVER made physical contact in 2 years, we are very business-like in texts and there is no evidence that he fancies me whatsoever. We do not flirt. He has just been a very good friend to me and saved me from going mad, as previously I was alone most of the time (before I was involved in the band) and rarely went out.

If I am honest, there is chemistry between us, but not sexual. I am so not his type. He is very much like a really great gay male friend. What worries me is that my best friend is really horrible about him; says she doesn't like him and is calling me a hussy- presumably because we text.

It angers me that she won't allow me to have this friendship because he is a married man. If he was a woman, would that be okay? Or is she just jealous of my new friend?

I would be very grateful for your perspective!

[Chessman]

Hi Scarlett,

I'm no psychologist, but it sounds as if she's jealous, possibly of the time your with him and not her, alternatively, its possible that she wishes it was her, and not you that are friends with him. Have you spoken to her about it?.

As a matter of interest, which instrument/s do you play?.

[Hermia]

Some people just can't get their heads around the fact that men and women can be friends. I work with loads of men who I get on brilliantly with, but I have noticed that some of my female friends just cannot believe I don't fancy any of them. It's very irritating indeed to have people constantly insinuating stuff.

I think you just have to tell her it's your life and she should stop interfering. It sounds like the two of you had quite a close friendship so she is acting jealous. How old is your friend because this is the behaviour of a young girl, not a woman? You just need to let her know that she is still your friend, but you are entitled to mix with whoever you want. My best chum has a whole group of friends that I don't mix with - some I don't know and some I don't like, but she can be friends with who she wants.

[Scarlett]

Chessman: Thanks.She is married and has been for 10 years. I think her rational is "if my husband was texting/paying attention to a woman like he is to you, there would be trouble". And I can see her point. But there is no reasoning with her that it is innocent friendship.

I play piano and guitar, and sing!

Hermia:She is the same age as me- 35, but is very immature for her age.The weird thing is, we live about 7 hours apart and only see each other once a year- so it really does not effect her at all!! I sometimes think she just doesn't like me having ANY friends, as she is also weird with the female ones, and finds fault with them all.

[Scarlett]

Interesting Pickly...

She does claim to be bisexual, although I have never seen much evidence of it, and she does tell me she fancies me, but I always put this down to her being drunk. She is also very happily married!

Unfortunately I don't want to cut her off completely as she really is my best mate and we have a lot of history; plus we still make films together and I do rely on her for a lot of my creative and social funs. But maybe a period of silence would do the trick.

I just returned from a gig with this man, and I can honestly say there was not a glimmer of anything.

Pickle, I hope one day we can chat in real life!

[funnywebsite]

Some people like to gossip and dramatise others lives because theirs are boring. Take not notice of her.