Hospital Bed At Home

[Thisoldbird]

It's looking like we may have to have a hospital bed at home when my husband is discharged from hospital.

We already changed from double to singles which is fine but they are both against a wall. Hospital bed will need to allow nurses/ carers to use both side of bed..our second very tiny bedroom is already crammed with other equipment he needs.

Before anyone down sizes make sure you keep this sort of situation in mind.
At this rate I'll be sleeping in the shed!!
I'm normally such an organised person I'm hating this disruption.
The other option is go into care. I really haven't the heart to do that to him. It's like turning someone out of there home.

This isnt a question just me rambling on a sleepless night of worry.

[choux]

Good morning dear friend. Hoping you have been able to rest and sleep. Please take good care of yourself and accept any help you need from family and good friends. Eat what you can manage and build up your strength for you must be exhausted. With love and prayers. x

[ducksie]

Good afternoon TOB, I am just popping on to your thread to let you know you are in my thoughts and I hope you are getting all the support you need from your close family and friends (hugs) and keep well x

[albaqwerty]

Am still here too old bird Thought of you often yesterday particularly as did your other friends on here. Please remember to take care of yourself and remember help is here too if needed. We do care xx

[choux]

Just be assured dear friend, that, hopefully, one or other of us will pick up any posts you wish to make. We are all anonymous and it just means that if you ever need to chat to someone who doesn't know you personally but cares enough to be a listener then feel free. I think I can speak for the others (they will tell me quickly enough if I am wrong!) At the same time we respect your privacy and it may be enough for you to know that we are here, thinking of you and sending prayers and love. x

[anneasquith]

I imagine you are saying to yourself , ‘ what do I do now’ ?.. well try to rest ,ask for assistance if you require it. Your family will be a godsend at this time . Take care Anne .

[jennyjoan]

Hi oldbird - since none of us know (well I don't) - like if you have a wee family - children or grandchildren per se - I know you have a wonderful niece - you will get by.

just heard earlier on from my friend which I mentioned here ( her brother - in intensive care - alcohol withdrawal. He will be dead soon.

so you take care of yourself as others have said. night night old bird - you know - I love the name old bird. my little great nephew called me the other day - bye bye bird - as i had called Maxie that name all day. night old bird

[choux]

Night night dear friend. x

[choux]

Hello dear lady. I hope you are benefiting from the slightly cooler temperature this week. Some folk think excessive heat is a good thing for arthritis sufferers, bless 'em. Also thinking of you making the arrangements that are so onerous when we lose a dearly loved one.
Just take care of yourself and dwell on a lifetime's happy memories of sheer, devoted love whenever you can. x ((()))

[Thisoldbird]

Hello again. Twice I wrote an update, twice I lost it. I'll try to be more careful this time.

Arrangements almost sorted. My niece popped the Green form into Undertakers today..

We all agree, as did my beloved on a Direct Cremation. I am met with a couple of so called friends who look aghast at the idea.
He would have had his 90th birthday later in the year. He said on his last birthday he was going to have a party for the coming big one.
Obviously that's out of the question, but we will have a celebration of some sort to Celebrate his life. A life he enjoyed until he got so Ill.
His ashes will be scattered at a favorite airfield where he enjoyed many air shows.
I miss him dreadfully..but at the same time thankful his suffering is over.

We had one son, who passed away 2020..he in turn had 1 son, who has 2 children..our adorable Great Grandchildren..

Thank you so much for looking in for me. I'll be around when time allows. For now I'm up to my eyes in paperwork..

[choux]

Hello old bird, lovely to hear from you. So glad to hear that you are making headway with everything and that your dear husband's wishes are followed through. Some people will always be a little "surprised" by changes in funerals but I am all for what is agreed upon in families. I think it helps the closest of the bereaved to know it is what the boy wanted.

The paperwork can be never ending but it also helps to pass the time with some occupation whilst waiting for the funeral. It must be of great comfort to have your family around you. Having the young Great Grandchildren and your Grandson around must be lovely for you. You sound very proud of them and rightly so.

Rest assured you are so very often in my thoughts. Night night and God bless you. x

[choux]

I meant to add that I suspect from what you have said that there will be a very good life to celebrate when the time comes, just wish it had been longer for both of you. x

[albaqwerty]

Thank you for making time to post.

I always feel the time between the passing and the farewell to be a sort of limbo.

I hope you'll find that his wishes being met will be a comfort irrespective of ''looks''.

Take care - would you be kind enough to let us know what date it'll be so we may be able to take pause?

Sending love xx

[anneasquith]

Appreciate your update. I’m pleased you have support around you. You say a really important thing, he is out of pain and distress, and to be with him at the end of his journey must give you some solace. Anne.

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you all again. We will be informed of the date maybe end of this week, beginning of next. I will let you know the date.
Direct Cremation means no one attends. After we attended a close family funeral 4 yrs ago it struck me, no way am I brave enough to follow a coffin containing my beloved, sit through a ceremony with the coffin right there in front of me..no, i know it's the done thing but this old bird suffers anxiety, panic attacks. We both agreed how we would do this part.. he was a joker a fun happy man. That's how I want to remember him. He is in my heart and everywhere I go, he is right here with me. Nite nite xx

[anneasquith]

Nite nite to you both . :-)

[ducksie]

Hello TOB - I was just reading what you left last night, I think your friends are good friends but sometimes don't understand that families and couples have made plans for when this time comes, they can make their own arrangements for themselves so try not to worry about what they think, what's best for you is what matters and you can and always will remember your wonderful husband and soulmate that is not defined by his bad health, his 90th birthday remembrance will be marked lovely I am sure and be very poignant x he mae you laugh as the joker and that's ok to want to focus on that part of his life, you have for so long seen him suffer. I know when my Mam passed away, the Priest gave me all the readings to type out, I was furious with him, but later realised, he was trying to keep me busy with paperwork, I know it's not the paperwork that keeps you so busy now. I do think of you and keep you in my prayers, you come across as a very strong lady and I am delighted to read you have your grandson and beloved great grandsons to keep you focused. (((hugs))) Ducksie x

[choux]

Night night. x

[Thisoldbird]

I've had the great grandchildren visit today, with their parents of course.
I had lots of hugs..they are returning tomorrow to rearrange some furniture for me.
I'm hoping when the bedroom furniture is back in place I will feel better about going in the room.
I'm ok during the day,but am finding evenings difficult to settle.

No news on the date yet but expect it early next week.

Sleep tight everyone.

Xx

[choux]

Delighted to read that, old bird. Hugs make a world of difference.
You will feel better, no doubt, when you have the bedroom furniture sorted out. It is all gently, gently to get used to such a massive change. Give yourself the opportunity to sort things as you wish them to be. Nights can be so hard to acclimatise to at this momentous time for you.

As I think dear albaqwerty said somewhere, cyber friendships can be a good thing if you want some sort of contact that won't be scrutinised but merely accepted at face value and at any time of day or night. I pray you can soon get some sleep. x

[anneasquith]

Children and grandchildren will help you so much,. Do you find yourself having so much free time that you have not had for a long time. ?