Hospital Bed At Home

[Thisoldbird]

It's looking like we may have to have a hospital bed at home when my husband is discharged from hospital.

We already changed from double to singles which is fine but they are both against a wall. Hospital bed will need to allow nurses/ carers to use both side of bed..our second very tiny bedroom is already crammed with other equipment he needs.

Before anyone down sizes make sure you keep this sort of situation in mind.
At this rate I'll be sleeping in the shed!!
I'm normally such an organised person I'm hating this disruption.
The other option is go into care. I really haven't the heart to do that to him. It's like turning someone out of there home.

This isnt a question just me rambling on a sleepless night of worry.

[albaqwerty]

Don't force sleep. Perhaps listening to music might help you to nod off? xx

[choux]

anne, I think it is too early by far for old bird to expect to have some normalcy in her life. This is, as alba said, a stage of limbo at the moment and that will continue until the funeral has happened and for some time after.

With regard to sleep, dear lady, I wonder how you slept before you became your dear husband's carer? I expect you became very used to light sleeping as you were constantly checking on him or seeing to his needs, even telling him the time. ((())) You see, I do read your posts.

I think it is going to take a while for everything to settle down for you. Sleep can be very evasive if we have such anxieties or ill-health - I am wondering if your arthritis gives you pain to keep you awake - if so speak to your doctor to see what pain killers may help or need increasing.

I listen to a lot of radio in the night time, either calming music to a good drama. I, too, have wretched tinnitus that keeps me awake and "white noise" does nothing for it. Cannot abide milky drinks and I drink very little alcohol now - not that I ever did, honestly! I think you and I are both of an age when we don't contemplate a walk around the block at night will improve our sleep pattern. It is a hard thing to get into sleep patterns again but I pray you will in due course. x

[choux]

Night night, dear lady. x

[anneasquith]

Normalcy .

[Thisoldbird]

Today I got the Cremation date.
Monday August 8th. No time but I understand most likely early am.
Hearing the date hit me hard..no reason, other than, that's final then!

My sleeping is very poor. Last night, I seemed to be aware all night.
I'm not the best sleeper at any time. At least I don't have to get up early for work.

I do thank everyone of you for your comments and helpful advice since I was merely writing my thoughts about our bed situation..

I have another bed dilemma now. I'll start another thread as its moving on from my dearly beloved..I've so wanted to get his opinion on something.. but, ill ask here in his absence. X

[choux]

Thank you for letting us know, dear lady. I shall say a prayer for your boy especially on the 8th. I understand what you mean about knowing the date of cremation. It is so abrupt.

I willlook out your next thread. x

[albaqwerty]

Sleep when you can, as I've said, don't force it, and most importantly, don't let it prey on your mind.

Will raise a glass to you and your beloved on the 8th.

If you find yourself talking to him, then smile, he'll hear you and sometimes the answers come in unexpected ways. A feather, a penny, appear in the oddest of places :-)

Don.t become a stranger to us, I'm being forward here, but we would like to remain cyber-friends, we care about you xxxx

[ducksie]

Ah TOB ((Hug)) I will be thinking of you Monday August 8th, I shall keep you in my prayers, it won't be an easy day for you - but know we'll be thinking of you. I hope you manage to get some sleep soon, it is hard to settle and sleep when you are dealing with such a sad loss, as you say, you're not the best sleeper at the best of times, but I hope you get help with your bed issue on the other thread and that you will be snug. I might be so bold and ask if I can join Alba in the cyber friendship with you x we do care about you, of that I am sure x Ducks

[choux]

Please dear old bird, may I be forward too? :) Night night. x ((()))

[Thisoldbird]

Thank you lovely people. It's nice to see new messages. oh yes one can never have too many friends. Cyber or otherwise. Insert a big smiley.

I can't see who it was said to look out for signs he is still around. I often feel my Mother around when I see a feather in the garden..I say Hello Mum, everytime.
She passed away 16 yrs ago. Sleep tight friends. X

[anneasquith]

Hi, did you get some helpful information re a new bed ?
I hope you rest well. Take care, prayers continue. Anne .

[ducksie]

Good morningTOB, I am happy to see you are open to looking for signs that your dear husband is still closeby ((Hug)) some people believe in the white feather, I am open to that, I think if I see a white feather just as I am thinking of my dear Mam she is letting me know she is still with me - or a butterfly, I think though she can come to me in the form of anything that is to me, a sight to behold, like a robin when I am out in the garden. Before she passed she had a habit of chewing strings and spitting them out - she did have dementia at the end and this habit developed, I would gently and in jest, scold her - knowing she never knew she was doing it, I would clear all the little strings, they were well rolled up I tell you and of every colour thread you could imagine, I thought I got them all up, but sometimes up to a year after she passed, I was still finding them, they'd fall down from back of radiator or I could be just thinking of her and there's a little coil of thread on the floor in front of me - my floors are not carpetted so I knew it could not be fibres from carpets. So, long story short :) there will be signs, you will see them ((hug)) they'll come naturally so don't feel lost if you don't recognise them immediately - you be kind to yourself lovely lady xx Ducks

[jennyjoan]

just a little story too - my mother loved one of her sisters very very much you wouldn't believe it - my aunt I think was married at about 37 years old and was going to live about 2 streets away - yet in wedding photo my mother's eyes were blood shot with crying - my aunt was absolutely terrified of birds - yet when she died - a little bird visited my mother every single day while mother was at the sink doing whatever. She always believed it was my beloved aunt.

[ducksie]

Ahh that's lovely Jennyjoan, I think it was your aunt, the fear of the birds had left her in her passing - ahh that's so lovely and must have given great comfort to your dear Mam xx

[choux]

One thing is certain - we never forget our loved ones nor do we stop talking to them. We hear their voices, we wonder what they think of a given situation, we have our photographs and memories. Given time the memories we recall are the good rather than the bad and that is the way it should and will be. I have to feel for those who are bereaved without having such a strong love for someone as they will never be likely to have those wonderful memories.

I know, dear friend, that the coming few days will not be easy for you, an under statement. But just have the fortitude to get yourself through the time as you did whilst you were caring for your beloved throughout his illnesses, hospitalisation and your separation.
You supported him as no-one else could. Take all the support you can now from your family and friends. x

[Thisoldbird]

Bless you ladies.. I thanked my beloved this week. Why, he had a small amount in a bank account. It was transferred to a joint account a few months ago. I popped it into premium bonds in my name, knowing what was going to happen quite soon. This weeks draw contained a small win. I hope he arranged it, as in sending me a little windfall.

If your up there reading this with me, 'boy',make it a bigger win next time..

Almost 3 am..no sleep tonight so far. I've shed a few tears since around 8pm yesterday, reliving sitting up with my poorly boy 2 weeks ago tonight. So vivid in my mind like it's happening again.. sad sad times..

[choux]

I posted (or believed I had) much earlier, but it has disappeared in the Ethernet. No matter. How lovely that you had some good fortune, dear old bird. Your boy will be delighted too. Sorry to read that you had a rotten night's sleep, or lack of it. Perhaps you can get some sleep during the day - not ideal, I know, but better than no sleep at all. x

[ducksie]

hello TOB - my heart goes out to you in this time - the thinking back to what you were doing only a fortnight ago and how your world is upside down now, I do think your dear husband hand something to do with the little windfall, i know some people buy those bonds and never get a thing from them, yet, you did make me smile as you asked him, to make it a bigger win next time ;)
I think you'll have worn yourself out today from all the tears shed last night, it's good to have tears, they relieve us of so much and help give us strength when we need it. This is going to be a tough few days for you TOB so accept all the TLC you are offered from family and friends x the good memories will eventually come, I'm just looking at Choux' advise to you and i hope you can get in a little nap throughout the day, you need to nap to keep strong - I'll just leave you for now with big gentle hugs and hope you got to rest a while ((Hug))

[choux]

Sending you my sincere wishes for a better night's rest. God bless. x

[choux]

Hello dear lady. I am thinking of you and offering prayers as you await tomorrow. I hope you have some company to ease your anxiety.
(((HUG))) x