Question For The Ladies

[barry1010]

I have been reading a very long, uncomfortable Twitter thread about women's feeling of safety and threat around men.
The gist is, every time I happen to be in the same space as a lone woman whether it be at a bus stop, in a lift or walking along the pavement, that woman is automatically doing a risk assessment because my very presence is a threat. It makes no difference if I am much smaller or bigger than her, young or old. I read that as a man I cannot comprehend this.

My wife can't comprehend it, either. She tells me she has been in very uncomfortable situations with men, some she has known very well. She has been groped on a bus, flashed at more than once and offered money for sex from a man in a car whilst she was waiting outside a hospital but she doesn't feel threatened by a man simply because he is nearby. She appreciates it if she is walking alone at night and the man crosses the road so he isn't following her.

I am a physically large man at well over 6' but have enjoyed many a chat with a fellow traveller, often initiated by the woman. Women I have never met before have asked me to watch their back whilst they withdraw cash from an ATM. I am horrified to think that my very existence scares half the population.

So ladies, is this Twitter thread reflective of your situation or the hysterical reaction to the trans activists? By the way, my wife tells me she has never viewed ladies' toilets as a 'safe space'.

[Gill1941]

I doubt if your existence scares half the population, barry.
Only the snowflakes which we are breeding today.
I agree with your wife. Have been in some uncomfortable situations but that does not mean that you should then view everyone as the same.
Your wife and I are of the generation that deals with things without whinging.

[barry1010]

Thanks, Gill. How do you feel about public toilets - do you think they are a 'safe space'? You probably remember the dingy, horrible public loos that were often underground or in subways. I never felt particularly safe in them, always a place of last resort.

[Gill1941]

I do not like public toilets and like you they are a last resort.
Don't feel altogether safe but use disabled ones now as I use a walker and have a key for them.
Your wife could get a key and she would be safe in there.

[scorpiojo]

I don't feel threatened by every man I meet either, Barry.

[Bobbisox1]

I never feel threatened by men either, I’d say if I was coming in late at night or maybe walking where nobody else was .I.e there’s a farm beside us that has a public pathway alongside of it where people walk their dogs, if a man was walking behind me then I’d probably feel apprehensive and the chances of coming in by myself late at night,are zero anyway

[barry1010]

I must admit that I have been wary and even scared at times but that has been a reaction to the actions of others, not just by peoples presence.
One woman on this Twitter feed said that she is very aware that every man is capable of murdering every woman. What a horrible way to live your life.

[Bobbisox1]

^^^ indeed Barry, makes you wonder if some kind of trauma may have happened in her life to feel that way, I can fully understand those women that have been abused sexually by a male and head 100 per cent sympathy for them too

[LadyCG]

I have had some very frightening encounters with men, a couple of which were road rage incidents with one man actually challenging me to get out of my car and have a fist fight with him. I was also once tailgated by four men in a car who took exception when I refused to let the driver cut me up.

Regarding the other type of threat, I have had many an unwanted encounters with men. I was propositioned by a corpulent, sweaty beast on a motorbike at the age of 13 whilst walking home in my PE kit. My mother and I were harassed so much in the Bahamas by men calling our room (they were getting the room number off the barmen when we were signing for our drinks) that we had to speak with Reception and get a DND put on our phone. These complete strangers were calling in the early hours and asking if they could come to our room!!

I have been verbally abused and insulted when I've turned down a man's advances. I have been groped many times and had men come up to me and whisper disgusting things in my ear.

I am far more wary of men these days, however I know there are many good men out there who would never disrespect or hurt a woman and thankfully I am married to one such man. Obviously having a wedding ring on now does deter the pests to a large degree.

[Bobbisox1]

Gosh Lcg, that’s terrible

[LadyCG]

I have had some shocking experiences over the years, Bobbi.

When those men were tailgating me I was heavily pregnant. I called the police from the car and gave her the drivers reg number and a description of the car's occupants. The lady I spoke to was pregnant herself so she wasn't too impressed with their behaviour and she was sending someone to sort them out. I lost them eventually around the Worcester bypass - I just hope they were given a good talking to. A holes.

[bednobs]

Hi barry, one person's view isnt necessarily representative. However, i think you'll find the majority of women (and sadly young women too) have had the same kind experiences as your wife. TBH i expect many men too

[barry1010]

Not making light of your situation at all, LadyCG, but I had a dreadful encounter with a beast of a woman in a road rage. She got out of her car with a steering lock in her hand and wanted to batter me. Thankfully I was on my own in the car and she only thumped the bonnet - the police very quickly arrived as she was holding up all the traffic on a very busy road.
She got done for driving whilst drunk, threatening behaviour and criminal damage. I refused to get out of the car and I was scared.
I don't know if I would have been as frightened if it was a man threatening me - I wouldn't be so worried about fighting back.

[lankeela]

I'm only about five feet tall, yet have never been worried about being in a situation with men - if I have to walk past a couple or a group I find a bit of banter or humour will ease the tension if there is any, especially if you call one of them out in front of their mates. I have to walk down a short alley home from the shops in my small town, although it is well lit and I might perhaps just ease back if there was alone man going along in front of me but I would fight tooth and nail if anyone tried to do anything. Certainly wouldn't stop me using it. I certainly wouldn't go on social media like an attention seeking snowflake.

[LadyCG]

Good grief, Barry, that's terrible. I'm glad she was done for her misdemeanours. As you rightly say, it is hard for a man to stand up to a woman because women have historically been depicted as the victim, the weaker sex, and I'm sure there are many occasions where certain women have used this to their advantage.

I remember one night in Paphos many years ago my mother and I went into a bar and sat down and we were immediately ambushed by this man who looked like a gypsy. He was then heard on the phone calling his friend and telling him, "I want the daughter!" Scary.

[Peter Pedant]

most of this is commonplace Barr' ( using a Darzet short name).
as you might say - - long post. In hozzie ( 1985) I went from chaperone for teenage girls, to all girls,then all girls and young lads, then everyone. er I wasnt the patient

groping not surprised
flashing - 50% women are flashed at once in their lifetime.
women doing 'oh touch me not I am a laydee!" in queues !
women in other queues, gasping and humphing because the man behind them ( usually me but can be others) they no like

this is life - suck it up as naomi might well say

so it has always been there, but now talked about

[Peter Pedant]

a beast of a woman in a road rage
Karen, Barry, Karen

My land agent was beaten up by the tenant a few days ago ( uncle, I am trying to chuck the niece out. Can you guess why?) and we discussed the Police - No....wdnt come anyway and then wdnt do anything.

are you perhaps turning into a snowflake? I think we shd be told

[rowanwitch]

Growing up in a rough area, and living in a few since I guess I have developed a don't mess with me attitude. Plenty of bad experiences especially when I was a nurse travelling too and from work, but the only time I was mugged was by a gang of girls, also been attacked by young black women coming home from pride many moons ago they used their christianity as a justification. Suffered a couple of minor sexual assaults (I don't count the ones who rub themselves against you on the tube that was almost a weekly occurance )when I was younger. No lasting damage though and I dont judge all men by the actions of a few.

[naomi24]

I don't think there are many women who haven't been groped, harassed, or afraid when they're alone with men in certain situations - and bearing in mind women have been raped in what should be 'safe spaces' by men dressed as women, I wouldn't call being wary of trans activists 'hysterical'. Women need to take care of themselves and undermining what is sometimes a very real threat by deeming caution 'hysterical' is an insult.

[Peter Pedant]

I remember one night in Paphos many years ago my mother and I went into a bar and sat down

I dine out on this: Egypt ( some years ago 2000) - I was looking out of the balcony of a cruise and pulled away sharply and said " disgusting! I hope he doesn't know where I am"
In arabic, in which I speak a few words to a bargeman a floor or so below on the cruise ship....." You are rich and I am poor" ( me: it is gods will) " I must eat - tell you what " said the fella " I will come up and give you a good going over, all for five pound sterling"

oof course I wondered how he wd get past all the servants willing to do it for five quid

[Peter Pedant]

especially when I was a nurse travelling too and from work,

taboo - nurse robbed ( morphine prob ably) outside the Waterloo pub in Chetham Hill, caused prolonged outrage ( they wont come again rather obviously)

when there were home deliveries ( 1935) midwives or student doing 'midder' were met in the main street by a member of the familhy and conducted safely to the woman in labour....