Absolutely no confidence

[Greyday]

Hi all. I really hope someone can help me, as I feel I am going slightly mad. To make my story short. I have not worked for several years as I have been bringing up my children on my own. I really want to work, but my confidence has completely gone. I read advertisements for jobs which I think I may be able to do, but then, when it comes to ringing up, or going to an agency, its like there is a brick wall around me, its the only way I can describe it, and I cant break it down. Can anyone understand that one? Any usefull advice I would greatly appreciate. I know plenty of you will say, just get off your a*se. I am not a lazy person, or a scronger. But I feel my life is totally controlled by my lack of confidence. Sorry to waffle on!

[theo_wyvern]

register on some job websites - agencies will then call you - might be a nice boost and that way you are not effectively making the first move !

[Insurgent]

Try some voluntary work in the field you desire, it will be a great confidence boasters. It will also give you an idea as to what you like/dislike, so you can tailor your job searching.

[mycatis]

I felt the same as you, so I started going to a learning centre and did a few computer courses, now I'm at college, next year I'm doing a degree and I do voluntry work. All you need is to get a start. If I hadnt gone to that learning centre I would never have had the confidence to go and do other things. I even went into my local radio station and offered to help out there :-) I would NEVER have done that before good luck

[snook]

Hi Greyday! Some good practical advice has already been given in the answers above. You might like to take note also of some ideas I offered on creating an improved mental attitude in a recent post, which you can view here:

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Jobs_and_Careers/Question187096.html

Good luck! Remember, it all starts in the mind!

[mazie]

Hi Greyday

I know exactly how you feel. I was the same, I had been at home for 5 years bringing my two up, when they went to school I so wanted a job, but had no confidence and thought what am I going to talk about, all I've talked about for 5 years has been children related. Like mycatis, I enrolled at our local college and did a word processing course, it really did help. I then went onto to do a temporary job, which turned into full time work and I was with the same company for 15 years and loved it. If it's any consolation, there are thousand of women out there all feeling the same as you, bet you'll meet loads of em at your local college....Good Luck :o)

[joko]

Try making a bullet pointed list of questions - just for reference, don't read them out or they'll be able to tell.

also make a bullet pointed list of info about yourself - might sound daft but if you get nervous and tongue tied, things like dates, addresses, job titles etc can get lost so have them to hand

also have your cv to hand

stand up when on the phone - you will sound more confident and breathe better

try to get someone to accompany you to interviews - obviously not come inside the building though.

re phone calls - if you absolutely cannot do it, and if its just requesting information or and application for ask someone else to do it and be on speaker phone - this is obviously not ideal but its better than not doing anything at all and gradually it will get you in the swing of it and you will see how easy it is and nothing to be scared of.

i know its wrong but why not phone a compnay that you will never work for and 'practice' on them - i know you would be wasting their time but a 3 minute phone call once or twice could be just the boost you need - go for a company that is big but won't be all 'go go go' if you can and choose their least busy time of day, so you aren't interrupting them too much.

also try some rescue remedy (about �3.50 from a most chemists) which will help you feel confident and calm.

also try Kalms - from most chemists too

[Greyday]

Thank you all for your advice and help. I have actually been applying for work, got as far as having 2 interviews. It just seems that everyone else is working apart from me, which makes me feel very inferior. Getting back to work I know would do the world of good for me, make me feel like a normal person in society rather than someone just sitting on the outside. And yes Mazie is exactly how I feel. I often opt out of social occassions as I know the question of what work do you do will usually crop up. And thats the conversation stopped there. But thank you all again for taking the time to reply.