I cant get pregnant

[PJun]

i have just turned 36 and have been trying to conceive since June 05, previous to that I was on the pill for about 8 months. i am getting so upset it seems as though its easier for everyone else to conceive and every month i feel like a failiure because im too old to conceive. i try to have sex at the right time to conceive but nothing is working.

[bohochick]

have you tried ovulation sticks? they are a good guide to when you are good to go but i did concieve the month when i guessed roughly when i was ovulating and i put it down to being a bit more relaxed about it. i know you must feel awful and like you said it seems like everyone around you can do it! go to your dr and tell them whats going on and i think they start to look into things after about a year and a half of trying with no results. good luck

[stoo_pid]

(2 parts)

Hi PJun

I'm afraid I can't offer much practical help other than to sympathise with you & encourage you to try & hang in there.

We tried for over 2 years to conceive with no success. Doctors could find no obvious reason why we couldn't get pregnant. While I'm now 39 and Mrs Pid 38, we're both in pretty good shape, never smoked, rarely drink these days and follow a healthy vegetarian diet. Fertility tests suggested there was no medical reason we shouldn't be able to conceive.

So we went for IVF treatment (the first round is available on the NHS) and were really excited to have successfully produced about 16 embryos (which I understand is quite a few). We selected the best 2 for implant (most of the rest were put into frozen storage) and kept our fingers crossed. Unfortunately the pregnancy did not take hold & it felt as though we were further back than square one.

We both decided to stop trying for a few months (with the possible option of another implant from the frozen selection at a later stage when we felt ready again). That was February 2005. In March 2005 we went to Madeira on holiday. One game of scrabble and a couple of glasses of wine later we were pregnant!

[stoo_pid]

(part 2)

It seemed almost cruel that after trying so hard and with all the disappointments & stress, that we should be successfull the very minute we stopped making any effort! But looking back at it I think that is perhaps the point. Whilst it was great fun trying to make a baby it got to be a complete routine for both of us. More importantly though it's hard to recognise when you and your partner are under stress. For us at least, it would appear that stress was the biggest obstacle. As soon as we relaxed, nature seemed to take over. (Incidentally, Mrs Pid's pregnancy was a dream and Pid Junior was born a few days before Xmas.)

All I can say PJun is don't give up hope. My wife and I are living proof that you're certainly not too old. If you haven't talked to your GP yet then do so as soon as you can. If you feel IVF is the right course for you then you should be able to get booked in for a course fairly soon. Meanwhile, these sites may be of some help

http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/

GOOD LUCK

[Drusilla]

At first sight this site looks almost childish, but stick with it and work through the links. It has some excellent tips. I didn't know a great deal about cervical mucus before I read it, nor the importance of keeping sperm cool. No tight underwear, or jeans for hubby.

http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/trying/secretsofconception.asp

[barb1314]

PJUN...please please don't feel like a failure.I have been through everything you have and can totally sympathise.We have tried for babies all our married life and my doctor advised me not to use ovulation kits as it kinda puts you under more pressure...the relaxation bit is the best advice.We have never been successful and decided against IVF...we just felt it wasn't for us.Now at the age of 37,whilst a baby would be wonderful we have focussed on different aspects of our lives and we have 5 lovely nieces and nephews.Have you tried a course of Clomid...it pushes on ovulation...it's very widely used but can cause multiple births! I have had quite serious operations and the result was one tube was blocked and the other twisted....with no explanation! The mechanics just aren't right for me. During my various treatments I met loads of people for whom things HAD worked but the more you talk about it,the more people you will find have problems...don't feel it's just you.I wish you all the luck in the world...it's very painful and heartbreaking but you have to give it time and use ALL the medical intervention available.Big hug and I have evrything crossed for you and your partner xxxx

[PJun]

Thanks for responding everyone - makes me feel a little less lonely :) The advice and suggestions are really welcome and I hope they'll be helpful to me. Thanks again.

[Bohne]

Hi, no more advice, just want to wish you good luck with your plans.

I don't think 6 months is all that long a time (even though it might seem so to you). Let your doctor check you out, if you worry, that there might be a problem, if he says no, then at least you can relax a little and enjoy your love-life...