aspergers

[levis501]

my 8year old daughter has aspergers i knew since she was a baby there was something wrong with her she has behaviour problems aswell as learning difficultys she is at a main streem school but has her own teacher in the class just for her she cant be left on her own even in the play ground the teacher is with her i have other children aswell she is very bad to them she has stabed my oldest with a fork knife and screwdriver she tried to drown my 3year old in the pool in the garden my youngest when he was 6months old in his walker she tried to push him down the stairs .a couple of months ago i got a phone call from the school to come right away when i got there i could have killed her when i got told what she had done she was in the toilet with another girl she pulled down her pants and licked the girl between the legs .i wanted to die when i got told this i got told not to ask her about it .we have tried everything with her what we have been told she is so fool of anger and hate for the world we got told something my have happend to her then after a few test we got told nothing had happend to her everything she dose she gets away with because of the aspergers at time i hate her but i lover her aswell has anyone got any good sugestions whta i could try please

[curiosity]

I think your daughter may need an educational statement, which will provide her with the specialist education she needs, communicating with children with Aspergers is a skill, and her needs may not be fully understood 100% of the time in mainstream school. Has the 1-1 teacher any experience with children with Aspergers Syndrome? As for at home, I think you deserve to be getting specialist advice from your local CAMHS team (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Service) via a GP referral. They will have lots of advice & tips on what to do.

[MrsJo49155]

While inclusion and one-to-one teaching assistants are good in many situations it certainly sounds as if your daughters needs would be better met in a mainstream school with an aspergers unit attached if there is such a school in your area?

[sunflower68]

levis501 I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulties. You sound like a very concerned, caring and loving mom. I do feel from what you have said that your daughter would be much more suited to a special needs school. I wonder if it is something you don't wish for her but let me give you any advice I can.

Many kids with aspergers/autism are very bright kids but the pace of mainstream is a different kind of pace to what suits them. I have sometimes seen children with these problems only manage half days at mainstream. She may be a little bored with the strict educational regime too.

As curiosity said, please make sure the assistant has some understanding of your daughter's diagnosis; many do not. She/he can be put on one or two courses if he/she wishes via the school.

In special needs schools the kids take their day at a totally different pace. They have sensory time, places to calm down and a much much slower structure. If you are concerned she will not learn you would be wrong. She has a much better chance by learning at her own pace where people have (are given I mean) much more time and a different structure. Best of luck and good wishes.

[Lonnie]

Hi levis501, My daughter is Autistic, Aspergers, as you know, is a 'mild' form of Autism, my daughter is 21 now, and went to a Special Needs School, where really, your daughter should be, in all the years of mixing with various handicaps, the behaviour you describe, is one of the worst i've heard of.

Its obvious she's got a loving mum, but is she on medication of any kind?, if she is, her behaviour could be a side effect, if she is not, it sounds like she should be, make some enquiries.

Our daughter is on medication to calm her down, and it works, 'Risperdal' and Chlorpromazine', these are prescribed calming drugs, from her consultant, not GP.

I wish you all the best for the future.

[Englishbird]

Agree with the above, and I don't want to bring you down (further!) but just as a word of warning, my friends son is very disturbed and violent and she has been fighting tooth and nail to get him into a special school, to no avail.

It does sound as tho she needs this, but you have to get social services, her school, even your MP involved. I hope you have some support to help you with this.

As awful as it sounds, if there is no help forthcoming, and your other children are in danger, you may need to concider placing her in short term care if they can't or wont place her in a residential school.

If you have the energy! there are some really good support groups for siblings of children with disabilities or 'child carers' my friends daughter goes and she loves it. good luck x

www.youngcarer.com

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/

[noxlumos]

Hi, We have two very close friends with children with Aspergers and you'll be pleased to know that they have all been through similar trials with them and have all managed to find ways whereby life can be better for them.

Both of my friends children attended mainstream schools and fought very hard to keep them there, but they did have them both statemented so that teachers and assistants knew very clearly what was required of them.Agression can be part of Aspergers and it's important that you have a good referral from your GP so that your daughter's meds can be got right, as the wrong or no medication as Lonnie says causes utter havoc.

I don't think your daughter is full of hate and anger in the accepted sense but she will be incredibly frustrated and possibly as she has Aspergers suffer from sensory overload which causes aggressive outburts. Is she reticent about loud noises, touch, different textures etc? The smallest things can help avoid outbursts which is the key, as discipline with Aspergers can be an issue so it's best to head off confrontational situations before they start.

Begin with your GP and LEA and go from there and try to remember that all Asperger's parents go through simialr things at some time or another.I really do wish you well.

[triny]

Have you read any books on Aspergers syndrome? There is one, written by Clare Sainsbury and called A Martian in the Playground (publisher Lucky Duck). She herself has Asperger Syndrome and the book gives a really good insight into the mind of these children. The teachers in school would also find this a valuable book. You may already have done this, but if you haven't, then try and talk with other parents locally who have children with Aspergers.They will be the ones who will understand what you are going through and that can help a lot.