Don't like the person I'm turning into...

[I_love_Ken]

I have been bullied from fence to fence in every school I've been in since I was young due to various problems with my medical conditions and things, and there was a specific person who has done it for a while now, she has stopped, but today, I ended up doing something really wrong and horrible just to try and prove that I was strong enough to take her on, and I went against a supply teacher, threw his timetable in the bin, and disobeyed him completely when he told me to put the persons phone back in the cupboard from getting it out for her, this was all on her say so, and I have never been one to suck up to anybody, but I'm scared what will happen if not, she already has tried to set me on fire by putting lit paper on me and running away, in which burned a hole in my trousers and my leg was burned a little bit. We have been told that we will be questioned about these events tomorrow and I am going to hold my hands up and say that I did it, and admit, because I know I was wrong, and I don't like the person I am turning into, but if I say anything to do with this girl, I'm afraid of what will happen, please help.

[snook]

I'm not exactly sure what your question is. If you think you've done something out of character, own up to it (as you say you intend to) and be true to yourself. Try not to lower yourself to the level of the one who's tormenting you. If you haven't already done so, why not have a talk with someone in authority (your teacher, or a year head), and explain what's been going on. Say you don't want to get anyone in trouble, but you need this sorting out as it's interfering with your school work, and your life. You won't be being a 'snitch' or a 'grass', just standing up for yourself.

Don't let this kind of thing get you down. Rise above it. Show them you're better than that. Stay positive. Remind yourself that you're a decent person, and you have value. Keep smilin'! Good luck, it'll be all right.

[silverdaler]

you sound very mixed up if you dont mind me saying (in the nicest possible way). you obviously havent had an easy time of it at school. dont you have anyone at school you can confide in ? what about the head of year ? can you talk to your parents or an older sibling ? i think you do need someone to listen to you. a problem shared is a problem halved. when you have the meeting at school, do be honest with the teacher, but explain what has led up to the events so that they know how you are feeling. schools have an obligation to protect you from bulllying so you must spaek out. dont suffer in silence please.

there is always someone on AB if you feel alone.

you have already taken steps to help yourself by unburdening your thoughts on here. do it where it matters now, at school. life is too short to spend it being miserable - change things for the better NOW.

good luck !

[Englishbird]

I think you're showing great maturity by acknowledging that you've succumbed to peer-pressure. And hopefully the adults around you will realise this when you are honest.

The most significant thing about 'growing up' is that we realise we're infallible, and we realise that we screw up sometimes, and the best policy is always to hold up your hands and apologise. Most of the time you will get rewarded for this, sometimes you wont, but it means you walk away knowing that you did your best, and that is something that stays with you for a looong time.

Bullys only pick on people when they think they can get away with it (basically because they really are sad individuals). If you go against her, and she starts on you, you let her know that you're your own person and not about to be told what to do by anyone. ('f*ck off' in other words!)

You already know the answer to what your asking, please carry on with the strength of character you already possess. Go and make your own friends, people that care about you and people you care about. School can be a very closed and difficult environment sometimes, but if you can learn to be yourself amongst all that, you're way ahead of most of those around you. Good luck sweets. x x

[zara 4]

If you put your hands up and confess it makes you a damn site better person than the gutless girl you're talking about,what goes around comes around,this girl will get hers,obviously, by your post you know its out of character for you,this can only make you a stronger person!good luck

[Se7en]

Go to your Head Teacher. forget your form teacher. tell her you're getting bullied and thats whats causing the problems. bullying is a big issue in schools at the moment, she will have to look into it.

[plonker]

Try and speak to the teacher before hand. Dont be scared. Explain your dilema and apologise and your teacher may be able to help you once she understands your situation. If you cannot see your teacher beforehand then write a brief note and apologise and explain how much pressure you are under and let them know that it wont happen again. Turn the situation into a positve one. School is not forever, thankgoodness.

By the way, what Year are you in? Can you talk to either one of you parents? Let us know how you got on.

[Hard@it]

If you are in such a turmoil how can you find time to subscribe to the Film & TV section after this ?

[aka estie]

Please ignore the jerk above me, I_L_K. Good luck tomorrow, and let us know how you got on. xxx

[magicbeatle]

I agree with Englishbird. You have to stand up to this girl now, or people like her will be pushing you around all your life. She is a loser, and when she leaves school and goes to work, she will find adult life a lot tougher than you will. She will either be knocked down to size by a tough adult at work, and forced to change her attitudes to people, or she will end up an obnoxious scumbag with a criminal record. It is easy to go down the wrong road by trying to be friends with people you think are more popular than yourself. Sod her, she is probably more unpopular than you think. Keep true to yourself and stand your ground. The bravery you find in yourself now, will hold you in good stead for the rest of your life. Good luck, and dont let the b*st*rds grind you down!

[AB Editor]

Hi I_L_K

For additional support or if you just need someone to talk to, please see

http://www.childline.org.uk/

Or call 0800 1111 to speak to a counselor.

[nancie]

hey!! Tell your head of year what is going on!! You will feel so much better that it is finally out in the open. They will understand, make sure you tell a teacher ok?

This girl tried to set fire to you you say..make sure you mention that as its out of order and so dangerous. What if you had been wearing body spray and the whole of you lit up? What then? Dont let her get away with it! Once these bullies have been found out it will be harder for them to bully you.

Yes hold your hands up, but say why ok!! goodness, dont suffer in silence, these people aren't better than you.

[I_love_Ken]

Thank you so much everybody for your replies, I went to see the head, and admitted to everything I had done, and also mentioned everything that she had done, including all the things in the past. The teacher told me that she was proud of me for coming clean and admitting my mistakes, and also for coming forward about the girl, but I should not have done it, and I should have done what he said in the first place, and I agreed with her that I should take the punishment. So I have now a detention next week for an hour, and I have to write a letter of apology to the teacher that was teaching me. I've requested that I be put into another English group until this is sorted, and so I will be going into the head's English group. They've said that they're treating it seriously, and if any of her friends do or say anything, I have to tell them about it straight away. I'm glad it's finally being sorted out,and somebody actually mentioned to me today that the girl who is doing this actually used to be nice and that she used to be best friends with my cousins. I cannot believe how much high school can change a person, but I'm glad that I have a choice in the matter of what and who I turn out to be in the future, I don't want to end up with no job, no money, no home because I've been in prison too many times.