Help me let things go

[Jennykins]

Hi.. I cant believe how some people can act.. I have some "friends" that are so mean, and say the most katty things.. and lie about so much.. I know these are not great people to be around.. but even my mother is this way... How can I just let it go and move on with out staying up all night up set just because again some one made me feel a bit crappy about my self... and to be honest I do not come across like any of that would bother me.. but it does.. it ****** me off.. but I dont want to let it. Advice on how to let it just bounce off me .. thanks guys???

[lainiej]

Hi Jennykins. Well you know what they say - you cant choose your family but you can choose your friends. It sounds like you need to choose some new friends. You are too sensitive and nice a person to be surrounded by such negativity. I had a friend who was an emotional drain on me. It was all about her and any problems I had were of no interest to her at all. Eventually I lost my rag and dumped her. It was a wonderful release. No one has the right to make you feel crappy.

Good luck with everything x

[PhilBy]

You can borrow my motto Jennykins ,,,,,,,,,, F*ck 'em, F*ck 'em all.

I'm a bloke (a big un at that) so maybe it was easy for me to let my so called "friends" what I felt of them and it was not in there best interest to be around me anymore!! (or words to that effect) The long shot is that I now have less friends ha ha but the one I have are true friends who don't bitch behind mine or anyone elses back, even if I don't see them for months I can just pick up as though it was only yesterday :-)

I can guarantee if anyone has "friends" who gives you all the gory "did you know" gossip about some poor soul they will be saying similar about you as soon as your back is turned ............... F*ck 'em I say, F*ck 'em all. :-)

[smudge]

I really do feel for you Jenny. I can't really add much more to lainie's post & I know it's easier said than done, but try to remember this quote:

"Rest satisfied with doing well & leave others to talk as they please."

If your so called 'friends' are upsetting you so much, then they're not friends at all. You are much better off without them. -x-

[snook]

Jennykins, each of us has a responsibility to ourselves, and ourselves alone. You're not responsible for your family, or your 'friends'. Just do what you think is right and let them worry about their stuff. And if they're bitchin' behind each others' backs, don't involve yourself. Keep your distance.

Here's something you could try: when someone starts gossiping or backbiting, visualise yourself standing under a huge glass belljar, and watch as their negativity slams up against it and withers under the impact. You've just shielded yourself mentally! Whatever you imagine, and imagine vividly, you create. Any negativity they throw at you is now neutralised!

Yeah, I know, sounds too simple. Doesn't mean it won't work though. Do it and just see how much better you feel. And smile a lot, that automatically shields you from carp. Of course, they'll wonder why you're smiling all the time, and that's even better... keep 'em guessing!

[jump79]

At least you have a conscience and are sensitive about such things, unlike your friends - so put yourself above them because those who gossip and backbite are usually bitter, jealous people doing it only to make themselves feel better.

Remember, no-one can make you feel bad or cr4ppy about yourself unless you let them get to you. And you sound like a nice, mature person who knows herself - at least well enough to see that you are not like those backstabbing, shallow "friends".

I would say forget the whole lot of them, they are not worth losing sleep over and find new, better friends, who put you up, not down.

[Jennykins]

You guys have the greatest answers!!... Each of you put a big smile on my face and made me feel good, Thank you very, very much... I will take Philbys to use..haha and lainiej you nailed me right on the spot of who I'am and thank you, Smudge I loved your saying .. so so true.. thank you, Snook Im going to try your idea.. and Id rather people wonder why Im smiling so much than looking sad..Knowing me ill be in my glass jar laughing though HAHA Thanks! Jump79 Your right, thank you very much...

JEN