my boyfriend again

[stylinsam]

last night it was my boyfriends 8 year old brothers birthday and i said i would go to his house and help him with the party.

the thing is he ended up going to the pub with his dad as it was is dads birthday aswell. so i was left at his house with my lovely mother in law and my bf's cousin (who hates me) and auntie. he didnt even tell me he was going to the pub as i got to his house after he went.

THEN 12.30 last night i was in bed and the phone started to ring you no wat runs through your mind when your phone rings that late at nite. so i answered it and it was my bf trying to be nice but i was in a super bad mood cos he had woke me up and he started to say u dont love me anymore, your always in a mood, and really laying in to me.

who is in the wrong me or him. i love him to bits and he WAS drunk. should i just carry on as normal today and dont mention it or should i confront himx

[whiskeysheri]

Morning Sam, hun. If it was me I wouldn't just pretend it hadn't happened. He probably knew he was going to be in trouble for abandoning you and tried to turn it around on you (like my BF does). xxx

[loopyc]

hi sam, sorry to here youve had words with your boyfriend he should of told you he was going the pub but do you really want an arguement when you see him tonight tell him your upset that he didnt let you no and in future could he let you no that he is going. theres worse things he could do and as you love him so much try to avoid arguing just try and get your point across in a calm way xxx

[stylinsam]

cheers huney i was thinking about not mentioning it as he probably wont remember what he said...

[laurence2]

sam, i would confront him, How come he did'nt invite you to the pub?

As for the late night phone call, what trigged him to have a go at you, was it Drink{thats no excuse} or was he influence by his Dad.

Maybe their might be an underlying problem with your relationship, this again needs to be confronted, but it does seem like the good old drink kicked in and when this happens it goes two ways, either nice as pie or a right prat

[Richie1976]

Is this the first time he's gone out and got drunk without you? Don't hold it against him, it's what us boys do. We're rubbish at doing that whole, if I do this will she have the a*se, we just do it. If I had a pound for everytime I said to my girlfriend "I'm just going out the pub for a couple", and then come back at silly o'clock in the morning, chasing after the key hole and bouncing off walls, I would be about a fiver behind Bill Gates. Don't expect too much from us, we're simple people.

[stylinsam]

cheers laurence i think that he thinks if he told me he was going the pub i would of had a go at him b4 he went so he thought hed leave it to get back and mither me. men are ar*eholes (with some exeptions)

[jno]

Not sure why you love him to bits sam - he isn't acting as though he deserves it. Please don't be a doormat.

[stylinsam]

i feel like a doormat sometimes but iv been with him for 4 years and we have been through so much together if im honest i dont love him like i used to but i think alot of him and there is still love there and i would like to be with him for a long time if we could sort through our differencesx

[jno]

don't think you'll sort them out over the phone after midnight and drunk. What seems to have happened is that he didn't tell you he was going to the pub because he thought there'd be an argument and when there was an argument he tried to turn it against you, even though it seems pretty clear that it's his behaviour, not yours, that was unreasonable.

[beryllium]

Hi Sam, communication, calmly and nicely always works for me. And humour. It was his Dads birthday too, and dad and son should always have bonding time.... if you turn into a nag, and sulk, the relationship will go nowhere fast.

Hate is a very strong word to use for his cousin 'hating you', a look straight in the eye and a 'do you think we have a personality clash?' <laugh> type question may be needed.... if they are truly up their own butt, then that is not your problem...

bf, was drunk, and calling so late was unnecessary, laugh at him if he has a hangover today, and tell him that he has some major crawling to do, and you mean MAJOR!!!

good luck hun

B.

[charliebaps]

It sounds like you should have a serious think about why you are with him. If you have more issues with him (previous posts) then think about leaving. Just because you've been with him 4 years is not a reason to continue. I fell into this trap and left a long term boyfriend last year and never looked back. Don't mean to sound harsh just pointing out that only you know if it's right or not.

[jno]

sorry - called away to the phone - was just going to say that he sounds like he might be the sort of person who's keen to avoid sorting things out face to face. This isn't a great sign, but I think you've got to persuade him to do it.

[CLOWN TICKLE]

Im sorry about this problem stylinsam but I just wanted to point out that not all men go to the pub, some of us are wimps I suppose, I do have an odd drink of wine or spirits but in company at the house and dont creep back late at night worried about the proverbial rolling pin

Now my brothers in law!

[Rubyrose]

Hey Sam hun,

You need to talk to him about this. But don't sit him down and make it feel all intense like a huge issue. Just bring it up and tell him how you feel. Tell him you were just annoyed and how much you love and care for him. Tell him he was just being silly and that you felt neglected at the party. I don't think you are in the wrong and I think he shouldn't have left you on your own. But these men are rubbish at things like that so you have to be leaniant ;o)