Suicide

[4getmenot]

When someone kills themself do you think its a selfish thing or something they wanted so you're glad they're at peace now?

[wolf63]

When you get to the stage of wanting to kill yourself you don't think rationally. All you want to do it to end your suffering.

It is hard for a family or friends to deal with a suicide - but the person made a choice that they felt was really the only choice.

I usually struggle on and get back to some sort of normal life, but maybe I have been lucky.

[4getmenot]

wolf63 you make it sound like I want to commit suicide. :-) Dont worry I have no intention as I think it is a very selfish thing to do and there are always people to help. Was just asking from anyone thats lost someone what they think of it all.

[gessoo]

I don't think it's selfish. I think, like wolf63 says, that when people do this they are so tormented that they can't think rationally and (to them) it's their only option. I can't think that anyone taking this step would even think about seeking help - all they want is to end their life.

[4getmenot]

So maybe Pride has more to do with it. Say in the case where a person is in debt. Surely family can help but they are to proud to ask and take the easy way out.

[4getmenot]

I'm only saying this because 3 of my friends have, and each time I never thought oh well at least there out of this world, I've just thought why? I think the only way I could agree with suicide is if the person had an ilness that they could not handle any more.

[redcrx]

I think that by the time someone is at this lowest point and are suicidal that they dont think about others. Its not in a selfish way its purely because they are too distraught to think of anything other than their own problem.

However, those that use suicide as a call for help ie threatening to kill themselves are acting in some kind of selfish way. This doesnt mean its wrong, just that they would need serious psycological help.

[stylinsam]

i have to disagree with you on this one babe i dont think that somebody is selfish for commiting suicide although it might seem selfish to other people but obviously the person commiting suicide is very unhappy and doesnt want to live anymore im speaking from personal experience here. but people have different points of view

[4getmenot]

Your point is making me change my mind a bit stylinsam, you're right no-one could possible know whats going through their head. Maybe I'm just angry these people could have got help. I cant remember but was it you that found your cousin?

[Champagne]

Blimey! Happy Thursday morning to you too, 4getmenot!!

No, I don't think it selfish at all. But I do think it's a cheat's way out. I contemplated suicide once in my life when I was 18 years old. It wasn't rational thought at the time but it did seem like a quick-fix solution. But it struck me that I would leave very little behind except for a memory to a handful of people. Some legacy, huh? So I decided to fight back and stand up in the face of diversity.

I do believe that teens are more prone to suicide. We�re at our most vulnerable when we�re coming of age; with hormonal changes, being influenced by anything and everyone and wanting to stand out on our own two feet. It�s a very fragile time.

[stylinsam]

no i found my friend who hung herself after being bullied at school by horrible people i had to have councilling after her death at the time i was angry with her. but that was 5 years ago and i still cant believe she tricked me into going round to her house. she told me she needed to speak to me and that she was in her bedroom her parents were out and she told me when i got there just to come in. i still wonder why she chose me to find her but life goes on and i do think about her everyday and now i no how she felt and to her suicide was the only way out .

[4getmenot]

Oh thats awful stylinsam. Its must be someone else I have exchanged posts with that found their cousin. I wonder why she chose you to find her. Thats very strange. But dont you ever think that she could have got away from these Bullies and had a happy life if she'd just asked for help?

[stylinsam]

maybe 4getmenot but i will never no what she was thinking at the time and she never talked about being bullied although i new she was and i talked to her parents about it and the teachers at school. but she was very hard faced and never ever showed that the bullies got to her so like me everybody thought that she was coping and ignoring them. the sad thing was i still dont no what she was thinking up until this day which is very distressingx

[rugeleyboy]

i used to think that suicide was a cowards way out, but since speaking to a councillor friend of mine, her opinion was that it was a very brave thing to do. this argument went on for hours with none of us reaching a verdict??

however, for the people on here who know me (my username person) will know that i have recently been in bed for a week with a bad back, my doctor gave me diazipan to numb the pain, great, everything was just fine!! i have since finished them and refused any more from the doctor cus i aint that bad now...... last night was the most down i had ever been in my life... i am not a morbid person but i honestly believed i could no longer go on!!!

my wife had to convince me it was me coming off the diazipan and i will be ok? today, although a bit sad, i am back to my normal happy go lucky self, and my opinion on suicide has changed!! it is your mind not thinking straight and looking for a happy calm to your stait of mind?

[hectic]

My friends boyrfirend commited suicide last year also and I don't think its a selfish thing to do, when someone is going through such mental torment they feel that suicide is the only way out and from work I did with the samaritans I believe it is actually one of the most hardest things to do so it is certainly not the easy way out as some preople might think. Yes they could've got help but aren't we all within our rights to make our own decisions, after all its our life and spekaing to a doctor might be the most daunting thing in the world as a lot of people fear being admitted to a mental institution etc where their life would only spiral more out of control, have sympathy for these people not condemn them for "being selfish or taking the easy way ou"

[4getmenot]

I'm not condemming anyone hectic. I just think that sometimes its selfish and sometimes its not. Thats why I asked the question. I did say in my post further down that I'm kind of changing my mind and maybe 'too proud' would have been a more appropriate description. I wish my freinds had left a note, but then on the other hand maybe a note would make me look more into it and think well thats such a little thing to kill yourself over. So I do feel sorry for them that they found they couldnt talk to anyone. And thats so sad.

[beryllium]

stylinsam, that must have been quite awful for you to find your friend like that, but, I think she chose you for your strength, and so her parents didn't find her first....

she knew you'd do the right thing, and somehow, you did. Well done on your reactions, as i imagine you reacted fast, and sensibly and calmly.... That is why she chose you!!!

rugeleyboy, you are coming down off some highly addictive drugs, good luck with your back!!!

just a small note.... i believe there is a small difference between the words suicide and euthanasia.....

[4getmenot]

But beryllium what are your views on my question? :-)

[beryllium]

no, i dont think it's selfish 4getmenot, anyone at that point in time will be on automatic....

there are sooooooooooooooo many different circumstances and situations that lead to a final act.

A young girl being bullied? hangs herself? and yet she would have appeared 'normal' to her outside world..... and yet she came across as hard faced, when inside she was crying.... that is not selfish, that is frighteneing that NO ONE noticed......but everyone has their own lives and business, and psychology? we look out for our mates as best as life allows.... give support and a shoulder to cry on.... school and friends?, hey everyone is growing fast, jostling for position in life..... and she slipped through the net......

is she at peace? i do hope so....

I know when my time comes, i have already stated to my family, that euthanasia is my choice, and no, i am far from being selfish........ and yes....they know i'll be at peace.....

hope this is alright as an answer, 4getmenot..... i'm slow at talking through my fingers :-)

[Uzoma]

I considered suicide once. I wasn't trying to be selfish & I wasn't quite tortured. My self esteem was so low I genuinely thought that no one would miss me. I had thought out the process so well that I actually went through all of my clothes & books & calculated that if they were sold, my parents would be able to make back the money they had spent on me since I was born (at least that was what I thought). I agree with what was earlier said - you're not thinking rationally at the time. However, are you really heading for peace if you kill yourself (well, that's another topic . . .)?

[4getmenot]

berylluim a very good post. explained your views well :-)