What would you say were the right reasons for having a baby ?

[inej]

I am now 33 and i feel that if i don't try for a baby this year it will never happen.My partner and i are pretty much ok so it wouldn't cause any problem but am i going about this with the wrong idea. Just because "i want " a baby now does that seem like i am being selfish . Any views ?

[dancealot13]

How would that be looked at as selfish? I think it is very responsible of you and your partner to consider your financial situation before having children. If you are ready now, then just go for it. From what I have learned over the past few months reading the parenting section..Even when you think your ready for a baby your not 100% sure because we never know what it's going to entail untill we live it. People should have babies because they WANT them! If you want to bring a child into this world and love them and show them a good life like what you said, then do it. God gave us the gift of creation for this exact reason.

I am very excited for you and your partner!!

[Drusilla1S]

If you will love the child and care for it, I don't think you need worry about the motivations behind your decision. I have never regretted having children, even when they are driving me potty. Good luck and best wishes.

[WoWo]

What other reason than wanting one can there be for having one? For me having a baby is a totally selfish act, the term selfish has very negative conotations but it need not and I don't mean it so in this instance. It simply means that something is done for your own means and your own means only.

Thats not to say after the act that a a baby isn't loved or that what is essentially a selfish act cannot become something that is totally selfless, the love and protection of a child.

It's simply a definition of terms, is it selfish, yes, is that wrong, in this case definately not.

[JenniferG]

if you wait for the right time, there will never be a right time! getting preggers can take such a long time for some couples (it took me a year and a half). come off the pill do let your partner know, just let nature decide when the times right!

[shazbang]

My partner and I are both 27 and would love to be able to start a family. However as we are a same-sex couple this wont be easy. Before even thinking about it we would need to save up for a few years to pay for the treatment. I too feel like it might never happen for us because of our financial situation and sometimes it breaks my heart to think that I may never be pregnant or see what my children would look like. I dont think you're being selfish. If you think its the right time and your financially ok and you want to, then go for it. But never give up hope, my mum had her last baby when she was 43. I wish you all the luck in the world.

[OBonio]

The initial act of having children is seen by some as the ultimate in selfishness. I want a baby, so I'll have one... the child has no say in the matter. To a certain extent this is true (ie, literal selfishness, not 'bad' selfishness) but how you can get the opinion of an unfertilized egg or sperm on whether they want to become a person I'll never know.

As soon as the little one arrives though, selfishness is the last word you could use. Out and out pure selflessness is more like it.

As long as you think you can bring your child happiness and be a 'good parent' (this is open to interpretation and a completely different discussion) then go for it. Only you will know if you are ready. Anyone else's opinion shouldn't really matter but if it does, you'll be pulled left right and centre on how to bring the little one up.

[Lonnie]

Quite simply, other than an accident, the only reason for having a baby, is by being selfish, you want a baby, the baby doesn't ask to be born, so if you want one, and you feel you can look after it properly, go ahead and have one.

[Octavius]

The right reasons would be for you to bring it into the world where you (and hopefully your partner) were ready and able to provide everything it may need in it's life.

The wrong reason would be where you cannot.

[justforthis]

Beware, they grow up................!!!

[*Zeus*]

i saw an episode of Fururama on telly the other day when the Robot adopted 12 kids to get �1200 per week benefits...not a good reason to have kids.

Better to want them with your permanent other half who you'll stay with 4ever

[jason1980]

I have this idea that you might have always thought you would have kids sooner, and now you're past the 30 mark, you have the 40 mark and you always thought you'd at least have kids before you was 35 of 40.

At the end of the day - we are here to procreate and if now feels the right time for you to have a baby - then have one, if the child is brought up in a loving environment im sure it wouldn't mind having no say on the matter of being born - or even think about having a say !!

Its normal and natural to want children, whether its a same sex or not relationship. We all have parental instincts in us. I'd be a great dad, even now at 26, but I don't want any until Im 35(ish) - I need to devote my time into my accountancy career first and foremost before children.

[lala21]

I recently was asked why I want kids by sum1 who absolutely does not want kids. In sum cases I understand not wanting kids, especially if one is career driven, or a traveller, or simply just satisfied with out. Thats awesome, everyone has a choice :) Im just a littleconfused at why sum people who dont want kids are totally against it. 2 the point where they tell u not 2 have kids. Or call u selfish 4 wanting them. Is it really selfish 2 give life 2 someone. 2 provide 4 them. 2 teach them. 2 love them? I've heard people say "the child has no say whether or not its born" while this is true, I would like 2 ask some people, "do u regret that u were born? Are u angry with ur parents that they decided 2 have u?" is abortion thought of the same way? The child still has no say in its life being stopped. wanting kids is a personal decision. Some do. some don't. Everyone has their own reasons. I don't think having kids is right or wrong. It just depends on the person. If someone does not want kids, who am I 2 question that? & if I want kids, I should not be questioned. For me, I want kids because I love them. My husband & I want 2 raise a family together. We want 2 experience that beautiful bond between Mother & Child, & Father & Child. 2 be able 2 give life is an amazing thing. We want 2 experience a completely different type of love. We want 2 learn & teach. & many many more reasons. of course when planning on having children there are serious matters 2 consider. ur health ur relationship finances whether or not u are emotionally stable ur overall well-being work & the huge responsibility u are about to take on. It's a life long committment u can't 100% prepare yourself for all the stress on your body ur relationship (with ur partner & the child), ur emotions ur sanity the exhaustion & all of the ups & downs for the rest of ur life.but u can prepare 2 provide the best u can.