Fathers Influence

[jibjab]

Most of my life I hav lived with my mother, i am 23 now and my parents split up very young. The thing is I WISH I WAS MORE LIKE MY FATHER. I seem to have inherited my dads looks (good looking chap) but my mums personality (oversensitive and wouldnt harm a fly).

The thing is, my dads a bit of a ladies man, and whereas im younger and better looking :) he seems to have the sales patter down to a tee and has LOADS of female friends!!!

He owns a pub also and is nearly 50, im going to his pub for a mini p1ss up tomorrow to talk to him about the end of my 2 year relationship with my ex.

Do you think i should ask him whats the secret formula??? I feel really awkward and embarrassed about asking him. BUT WHO BETTER TO LEARN FROM THAN UR OWN DAD?

[redcrx]

This probably wont help but Ive always found that men who are sensitive abd caring are much nicer than the jack-the-lad types.

There is no secret formula. Its how you are, simple as that. Dont try to be someone youre not, you have to feel omfortable as yourself and then others will feel comfortable with you.

Its a kneejerk reaction to being single again. By all means ask your dad how he does it but i doubt that you will try and act like him for more than a few weeks.

[nuoyg]

Hiya jibjab, you could have a little chat with him. Do you get on well with him? Once you've had a few beers probabaly won't hurt and you can blame it on the 'drink talking'. Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with a sensitive man who wouldn't harm a fly in this day and age, it's probabaly a rare quality (I mean, have a look at that post about the guy who slept with some of his girlfriends friends). But it can't hurt talking to your dad to get a bit of self confidence. I think you perhaps need to be a bit more accepting of yourself? Perhaps it is the fact that you've just split up with the girlfriend? I hope you have a nice time with your dad.

[dancealot13]

You make a good point redcrx, but must add. Jibjab- You may very well be ok or content with the person that you are, but you may ALSO feel like there's more of you that needs to come out. We are always learning about ourselves, and that's how it should be. We change and grow. Be yourself of course, and be proud....but I think it would be fantastic for you to talk to your father about his secret. If he has things in his life that you desire, ask him how he got there. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a completely fullfiling life. So if what you want right now , is to meet women and have a stronger air of confidence....then talk to your father. His confidence Im sure, radiates not only with women, but in other parts of his life as well, and that is just wonderful. But always be a caring and loving person...that's the most important. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

[electricblue]

Sensitivity and caring is something NOT to be ashamed of,just out of curiosity,,is your dad married??

[ktlou]

jibjab, it sounds as though you don't really approve of your dad being a 'ladies man' as you put it? By all means, I would speak with him - don't be embarrassed, he is your dad and sounds like he'd love to pass on his trade secrets - but ask yourself this.....do you want to end up a ladies man too? I'm female and my boyfriend is extremely caring, kind and thoughful and also wouldn't harm a fly, and I can say that I'd much rather have him than some guy who chats up other girls when we go out and checks them out all the time.

Personally I think you're probably feeling a little insecure in yourself because of the split with your girlfriend - 2 years is a long time and enough time to become comfortable in a relationship, and now that its over you aren't used to having to do the 'chasing'!! You sound like a really nice guy from what you've been saying and I think you should give yourself some time to get over your past relationship and then hit the town. If you are as good looking as you say (which I don't doubt - you don't sound like the bragging kind!!) and with your personality I don't think it will be long before you have another girl!! Think positive and you'll go far!

Good Luck! x

[electricblue]

From what you say jibjab,you come across as a bit 'anti' what your dad is like,maybe i'm wrong, but having your mum's personalities sounds like a wonderful thing to have,she has brought you up to be a very pleasant guy from all accounts,that is what you should be proud of,,,that you ARE like your mum!!!

[ktlou]

Hi Jibjab - did you speak with your dad in the end? I hope you've had the answers you wanted!