Men = Mars, Women = Venus???

[Maggie-Mae]

I went to a party last night and meet a guy, he was a nice guy and he made it very clear to me that he wanted to take me home. Well, as Im not that type of girl, I told him no. We did spend alot of time talking and at the end of the night he asked me how many times during our conversation I had thought about having sex, I said I hadnt. He said he had spent most of the time thinking about sex. He said he would rather meet someone, have sex with them and build a relationship from there, I said I would rather meet someone, build a relationship and then have sex. What I am asking is - men, do you think along the same lines as the guy I met last night, and ladies do you think along the same lines as me, or is it more of each individuals choice rather than a man/women thing??

[Minxie]

Maggie-Mae, think he was just trying to get you into bed! Me personally would rather get to know a man first. Then build from there. So yes I think along the same line as you.

[madham]

I definitely think the same way as you Maggie-Mae, softly softly catchy monkey and he sounds like a right idiot, avoid at all costs.

[unruliejulie]

yeah Maggie- May and if you had taken him home and slept with him, its more than likely you would never have seen him again. Men tend not to respect girls who put out on the first night because they think they are easy, even though they enjoy the taking they don't want to make a girl who sleeps with them so readily, their girlfriend. If you'll sleep with them on the first night, you'll sleep with anyone, so they think. Incredibly one sided! Sometimes you can't win.Save yourself for a man who will wait till you're ready.

[~Wingnut~]

I'm with you and the rest Maggie-Mae!! For me personally I liked to keep the man waiting (married so am talking way back), that way I knew he was interested in more than just sex. Sounds to me like he was just wanting to get his leg over and was hoping you would see his side of the arguement. That is just the way I feel about sex and relationships etc.. I'm sure there are others (females) who would disagree :o) Each to their own.

[dot.hawkes]

Thing is men don't change, after all the chances they have had to understand what women want, why do they still follow the same old pattern? It is quite worrying that whilst women have become more aware of their capabilities and rightful place in the world, men just still want a shag.

[dot.hawkes]

Now I expected that to be starred out cos it usually is! sorry! lol

[WaldoMcFroog]

If men 'only want a shag' (ignoring the fact that it's a complete generalisation and therefore not actually true) what would actually be so wrong with that? Gasp - men like sex, shocker! Why imply that's such an awful thing? We're not talking rapists here, we're talking consensual sex between adults.

Guess what? Women (used in the same way 'men' has been through this thread) like sex too. Some of them have sex on first dates. They just want a shag. So what? That's their business, isn't it?

Feel free to think this bloke was a loathesome toad by all means, but the crass stereotyping of 50% of people all behave the same way is painful. It's sad enough when it's horoscopes. Not all men behave in the same way, just as not all women do.

[Maggie-Mae]

Thanks for your opinions everyone.

WaldoMcFroog - what I was saying was not that this guy was loathsome - as I said in my post, he was a nice guy and I wasnt asking whether people think I should have slept with him, as I can make my own decisions on that one. What I was asking was whether in the opinion on the people on here whether as by "gender" or "makeup" that men and women just differ in their in what they want and expect from each other or whether it boils down to the individuals choice. Sex just seems to be higher in priority for men than it does for women and using this situation as an example, I was interested in what people thought.

[dot.hawkes]

My brain hurts now, I am in danger of deep thought and debate, let me see, mmmmmmmm, nope, not goin there, i shall have a blond moment and pretend I misunderstood the response. : ) So empowering

[raysparx]

No maggie-mae, I am a bloke and he just wanted a quick shag,I am glad you didn't go for it,stick to what you believe,I for one would respect you for it,why should you jump straight into bed with someone you have just met? we aren't all like that, Take care. Ray

[unruliejulie]

nice one ray, speaking sense as always! X

[maxi29]

I'm a bloke too and Waldo's right: it is a generalisation to assume that all blokes are "like that". Most of us take pleasure in the wooing (or building a relationship if you prefer) and don't really like women to be too 'easy' - I've twice had women (total strangers) come up to me and invite me home but I made it clear that I'm not that sort of boy.

Like Waldo said, there are plenty of women who want 'no-strings' sex too. I think the Mars/Venus stereotyping of yours was out-of-date about 10 years ago - it looks even more so now.

[Maggie-Mae]

Im not stereotyping, Maxi29, thats the whole point of my question - re-read the last five lines of my post.

[unruliejulie]

at no point does Maggie-mae say all men are like that! She askds if its an individual choice as opposed to a man woman thing. I would never say all men or all women are the same.We are all different in our views and values.

[maxi29]

I'm sorry but the title of the thread is Men = Mars, Women = Venus???: the clear implication being that they think differently? That's what I was referring to when I mentioned stereotyping. But you're right, Maggie didn't actually imply that herself ( I have a deep-seated antipathy to that Mars/Venus book :-) )

Still, at least I answered the question :-)

[unruliejulie]

i think thats probably a bigger issue maxi29, there are definately defined differences regarding men and women, but can we really generalise to that extent. I don't know, sometimes i think men all think roughly along the same lines but of course there are gonna be exceptions to the rule. I am certainly a typical woman in some ways, but not in others.Oh, its a great big subject is this one! :-) never read the book but wouldn't mind