Honest Answers Please

[lou100]

OK, I value the opinions of your AB'rs! (honestly I do).

I am 30, single and live on my own. I have a great family and friends and am very happy with my life.

Why is it others question that I can be happy on my own without a man?

I really am happy and have a life which I am happy with, why does nobody understand this and always go on about how I should be courting?!

Am I normal, are there any others like me?

[B00]

Course you're normal. It really annoys me that folks think you need a partner to be truly happy- what a load of codswallop!

You enjoy your life girl- ignore em, lets face it, they're probably jealous, whilst you're enjoying yourself, they're having to beat the crap out of their boyfriends/husbands socks against a wall to straighten them out before they put them in the washer and having to extract underpants from a pair of jeans discarded on the bedroom floor!

[Redbel]

lou, I think it one of those "British" things, settled down and married by the time you are 25.....3 kids, dirty nappies, runny noses and up to yer eyes in washing. Oh and your other half expects his tea on the table after doing "a hard day's work"....... Good on yer girl, as Boo said enjoy your life.. :)

[dot.hawkes]

and put up with all their hobbies (read fads), inability to multitask (eg, wash up and dry), and ineptitude when it comes to shopping, "Can u get me a shirt from the shirt shop?"

[PatriciaH]

And dont forget "wheres such and such" youve put it somewhere!! grrrr

[smudge]

I think you are perfectly normal lou.

If you are happy being single, then so be it. Easier said than done, but try not to take any notice of what others think about your way of life & never feel pressured into something others want for you, but not what you want to do - by anyone!

Good luck in the future!

[Rubyrose]

Don't be silly!

My auntie is 53 and she lives on her own with her dog. She has a great house, great job, tons of friends who she is out with every night of the week and a great family. She has been married and in long term relationships but she is happy on her own too and she isn't bothered about meeting a guy. She always says that 'Friends are a womans insurance policy. We all need something to fall back on'.. I agree. :o)

At the moment I am having the time of my life with my mates and my new job and just being single. I thought I was happy with my ex but now I have realised I am having so much fun and I never knew what I was missing. Right now I don't want to be with anyone either. :o)

[PatriciaH]

Good on you rubyrose, just had a feeling you were a strong woman, enjoy yourself, life passes by so quickly xx

[smudge]

Ditto Patricia!

[robbo82]

I'm 23 and love being single. I hate the pressure of being in a relationship, things are so much easier on your own. Not that I want to be single forever, but I'm just enjoying being footloose and fancy-free at the moment.

[David H]

I won't read the other answers first to remain unaffected by them, I was ready for marriage after I graduated 22 years ago and got nowhere since. I believe it's natural to live with others, ideally a partner. I know a small bunch of people are either self sufficient or fed up with the opposite sex but you are the exception and generally most people are very unhappy being alone. I am a therapist and it affects many of my clients in that way and is a natural human reaction to isolation.

[country_boy]

There are a lot of people out there that don't or can't be on their own! So they don't understand how to be happy without someone.
I enjoy my own space/company too, just enjoy your own space and to hell with everyone else!
So yeah, you are normal in my book

[joko]

oh dear david.

the reason you think that, is because they are your clients - they already have problems, and they have told you they are lonely etc - that is a select few people.

what about the millions of people who are perfectly happy?

Certainly they are happier than those who just settle for anyone just to have someone - surely they are the ones with the problem.

I know majority of people would like a partner, but that doesn't mean they feel a failure or unfulfilled without one.

obviously many people are unhappy and lonely without someone but not every feels that way.

really I am surprised by your statement given that you are supposed to be a therapist - i'd have thought you of all people would understand.

and lou - you are perfectly normal - you will meet someone when the time is right and it will be right, don't settle for just anyone just for the sake of having someone - as i know so many people do - and end up in a life of misery. i would rather have no-one than have someone that i knew wasn't right. just spend this time being yourself and enjoying your own company - you are a whole person - not half of one just waiting to be made whole again.

[halfadaily]

Joko, I agree with your sentiments. I reached the grand old age of 50 four years ago and my marriage broke up. For the first time in my life i was on my own, having got married in my teens.

For some time it felt strange, and to be honest, quite scary, but eventually I began to enjoy the freedom to live as I wanted to and not have to live and think as one half of a partnership.

I certainly would not rush into another relationship just for the sake of having one.

lou 100, enjoy your life, don't worry what others think.

Some people can be lonelier in a relationship, than on their own.

[fat rascal]

enjoy your life lou, and others may be jealous of the fact that you have a good/happy life..
:-)

[mccfluff]

i'm 33 single and happy on my own, in fact i have had two long relationships were i lived with the guy and have come to the conclusion that i'm much happier on my own. What i don't appreciate is well meaning friends who are constantly trying to fix me up and won't believe me when i tell them i'm happy as i am, i went on hol at xmas to tunisa by myself and had a fantastic time & met loads of new friends. Your not on your own loo100

[purplelily]

Hi lou, I have exactly the same problem. I'm 33 and single, and people look at me, and say "you're pretty, you're a nice girl, etc. etc - why haven't you got a boyfriend?" - like there's something very wrong with me that they can't see!! When I say I'm happy being single, I just KNOW they don't believe me. My friends are always trying to set me up with people, which is just embarrassing and makes me feel as though I'm desperate for a guy, when I'm not!! I really love not being answerable to anyone - going where I want, when I want, with whom I want (I've had boyfriends who've been really jealous of my male friends). If someone special comes into my life, fine, but I'm not going to start seeing someone I don't fancy just to please my friends!

Sorry, rant over - thanks for giving me the opportunity to get that out! What I'm trying to say is, of course you're normal, don't let anyone let you think differently. When the right person comes along, you'll know - there's no need for you to 'settle' for someone xxx.

p.s. Ahh, I love the word 'courting'.

p.p.s. David H, no offence but you seem to have picked up a very pessimistic view of life. If you spend all day with unhappy people, of course you'll think this way, but you're only seeing one side of the coin; there are people like myself and lou who don't feel it necessary to see a therapist because we are HAPPY. I'm honestly not trying to offend you, it's just my point of view!

[WendyS]

Lou - no, you're not abnormal. I sense that you have found the secret of being happy by being contented within yourself and not constantly aspiring to the same goals that other people hanker after. You have a loving family, good friends and a fulfilling life and you have recognised that these are the important things to you.

Just continue having the courage to be yourself. One day your needs or aspirations may possibly change - or they may not. Just go with the flow and don't try to live your life as others live theirs.

[mccfluff]

purplelily, don't you just hate that setting up bit, my friends keep doing it to me and they just will not accept that i'm happy as i am, lead to a big stand up row the other night when i found out they had arranged a date for me! needless to say i didn't go. one of my friends in particular is single but desperate to get a boyf/married and will not accept that i don't feel the same way. I don't need a partner to feel complete end of! rant over

[annavc]

Lou100 you are totally normal. I'm 30, single, share a house with 2 friends, and I'm perfectly happy. There are a lot of us around - so we can tell all those people who don't believe us that they can sod off!!

[purplelily]

Hi mcfluff, I sooo hate it. I know they mean well, but I'd hate to be put in the kind of situation where I'd have to go through with a date out of loyalty to my friends - what if I couldn't stand the guy? I'd also hate to put HIM in the situation where he felt as though he had to be nice to me! I'm glad that all my friends are happy in their relationships, and it's nice that they want me to have what they have, but grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Let's all try to break our friends' relationships up to make them just like us!! xx