how do i tell my inlaws to butt out ...... nicely?

[bubbles4920]

someone please help! this is really getting to me! my inlaws use our apartment in the canaries for the whole of january, fine. but, last year they extended around it to mid dec. up to beginning of feb. me and my husband have always gone away at xmas and new year for past ten year to canaries to chill out and get away from it all. now inlaws are saying that they will go earlier this year, end of nov til feb. how do we tell them that we dont want them there for xmas new year.we bought our apartment last march so i really dont want the inlaws to see it as a regular thing. by the way, they dont stay with us as its a one-bed, they rent another apartment on the same complex when we are over there.we just dont want to feel that we have to invite them out xmas day and new years eve. we love being on our own. am i being really mean??!! i feel that they just dont get it, do they!!? sure mother in law will think it has come from me too when in fact hubby feels exactly same. helppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[*Zeus*]

Say "Inlaws...butt out you interfereing morons"

[dilf]

nice one zeus , good to see you back bonny lad . i think however that you have it wrong this time.

bubbles tell hubby he's got to deal with it, and if you get any of the backwash deny him sex for a few weeks

dont be supprised if they say they go there to get away from you and they wish you would p**s off to dear old blighty at xmas

[joko]

you say you have gone away for the last 10 years for xmas and new year - perhaps they want a family christmas - most familes get together for christmas and perhaps they miss that and just for once in 10 years they want to sit down with their son and his wife and have a traditional christmas with all the trimmings.

i understand your point that you don't want them to start making it a regular thing but - just once - why don't you stay home and have a proper family christmas??

is he there only son? if so then i am not surprised they want to be with him.

frankly i'd be furious if my son hadn't spent one single christmas with me in 10 years and i would very probably blame his wife

[~Wingnut~]

Hang on peeps, for all we know maybe they do have a family Xmas, just early? Then they get away for a quiet Xmas just the 2 of them!

Xmas is but once a year, if you don't spend it the way you like you have to wait another year to do it again!

If you want to have a quiet Xmas just the 2 of you, then so be it, I would get hubby (you be there also) to tell them the truth, you go away to get away from the stress and to unwind and like it just being the 2 of you for Xmas and New Year eve.
Hopefully they will understand this and respect your privacy just for those 2 days.

Maybe come to a compromise (have Xmas day alone but see them New Year's eve) if they get a bit shirty.

Good Luck!

[ELVIS68]

Tell them you`re renting it out and if they want to stay they`ll have to pay,at a reduced family price of course..and as for inviting them out for xmas day and new years eve,just tell them you`ve been invited out somewhere and you`ll catch up with them at a later date, My mother in law gets the hint when she comes over at xmas, when I hold up her coat for her and pass her handbag,although Mrs Elvis says I`ve got to let her stay for xmas pudding next year ;o)

[~Wingnut~]

LoL your wicked Elvis! lol

[bubbles4920]

thanks peeps for all the advice so far. thing is, last year was our first xmas in our new apartment so we invited them to have xmas dinner with us on the balcony. it was nice to say we had done it but usually we dont make a fuss when we are away. have been known to have a big mac at noon then laze round the pool. we love celebrating new year especially, in the canaries on our own. last year lots of us including inlaws went down to local bar but they seemed left out.didnt join in, couldnt hear conversations down the table and we felt torn. just want 2 of us this time watching fireworks on the beach and sipping cava on stroke of midnight in local square. we do normally have a nice xmas meal with inlaws before we go away, xchange gifts etc. what makes it worse is cos they live on a caravan park in a chalet, the gas bottles they use cost them a fortune for heating so would be cheaper for them to go out end of nov to our place and return early feb, using our apartment bar xmas/new year period. tho, nov and dec can be quite mild months cant they?! i have thought of compromising, it seems harsh to say butt out for all that time when really we just want xmas day and new year to do our own thing.they must be out for jan as only have 11 months residency on caravan park. when we were there last yr they never came knocking on the door even though they were only a few blocks down on our complex and we did go out for a few days with them. dreading today4 fathers day. gonna ask about booking flights for sure for them. we have already booked ours but they dont know it.just dont know what to do and how to put it. best done on fone i think by hubby,cowardice i know!

[bubbles4920]

just to update you if still watching this topic. my inlaws have booked into a hotel for the 2 weeks we gonna be out there ourselves. made me think, mmmmm, they didnt like being with us last year so i felt just how they would feel had we said something, justice eh!? but dont think they are thinking about giving us space cos when they struggled to find a reasonably priced hotel, father - in - law said that they would have to look at renting out on our complex again, nooooooooo!!! think they just want a bit of luxury and laid on entertainment to break up there 73 days stay in our apartment for rest of time. hope they love hotel and will stay year after year. at least we can breathe a sigh of relief for this year. we have had a difficult couple of years and just want to be on our own. funny how things turn out eh,glad i didnt say anything first!!