Just looking...................

[sandrajo]

Do you think it's ok to keep noticing another woman/man after you are in a committed relationship?

[PinkFizz]

what do you mean by "keep noticing"?

If you mean just looking then thats only human isnt it!

[Octavius]

Of course, it's anatural instinct.

Problems generally occur when it goes beyond that, although it depends on how your partner feels if they are with you when you are doing it.

[kick3m0n]

agree with the above, totally natural thing to do. Anyone (male or female) who says they NEVER notice an attractive member of the opposite (or indeed same) sex is deeply suspicious imho.

[sandrajo]

I mean when your in a relationship and your attracted to someone else, well not attracted but the person seems to be in your thoughts more.

[Pippa68]

No! you should poke out your eyes, darn it.

*just kidding, of course*

[nat_84]

Im with a fella and we both say when we think someones hot. Celebrity or non celebrity.

Its a matter fo trust and understanding.

[originalspa]

Agree with Nat_84. Me and my partner look at other people all the time and make comments but it's usually done in jest and doesn't mean anything as I don't think there's anything wrong with admiring beauty as we both know it'll never go any further!

Fantasies are great so long as they are just that, fantasies!

[andrea_h]

Definately - you're only in a relationship, not dead!!

It's very healthy to notice other people - you can always check out what you're missing!

A xXx

[enigma]

I agree with the others who said that they openly discuss with their partners who is hot and not. My hubby and I always wind each other up about celebs on the tv and it is only human nature to look - just as long as you only look but don't touch. My hubby and I trust each other implicitly and that is why we are able to joke about who we 'fancy' on tv.
I could be wrong but I am guessing that your question runs a bit deeper than that though when you are saying that someone else is in your thoughts as well. Do you mean that you spend a lot of time thinking about someone else as opposed to just noticing someone good looking ?

[steviep165]

i was just going to mention that. i've been in the situation where its not just a question of finding someone physically appealling, but also finding yourself drawn strongly to them in other ways. its an even bigger problem if its someone you already know quite well. beware sadrajo.

[sandrajo]

I do find him physically appealing but i don't know if i feel drawn to him in a sexual way, he is very attractive though.

[peterd]

It's ok to look, only natural as everyone seems to agree. Thanks to you, I now have the Stereophonics record in my head

[China Doll]

Agree with Stevie165... there's noticing and there's noticing if you know what I mean...

Generally speaking I think it's cool to have a little bit of a flirt and fun when in a committed relationship but then occasionally you find yourself in a 'what if' situation and that's generally when it's time to take a cold shower and about ten steps back from the person in question!

That said, have also been in the situation when I was in relationship when it took me actively thinking about someone else to realise the other cracks that were in the relationship and it helped me realise that I didn't want to be where I was.

Swings and roundabouts I guess

[sandrajo]

That's not a bad thing Peterd, the stereophonics are fantastic and yes i agree chinadoll swings and roundabouts . Thanks

[steviep165]

the only thing to bear in mind is if you are contemplating doing anything about it make sure you know its exactly what you want. sounds obvious i know, but i'l bet plenty of people have just waded in without giving it enough thought. you dont want to end up with nothing. good luck with it all though.

[enigma]

Yes I agree with Steviep. If you are contemplating taking things a step further with this other man , make sure it's what you REALLY want because there will be no going back after you have made that decision. Personally , I feel that trust is a key issue in any relationship and once it's gone , it's gone. If my hubby ever cheated on me , I would like to think that in time I could possibly forgive him for betraying me - if not for my sake , for the sake of our three kids and the fact that we have been together for over 11 years but deep down , I don't think that I really could , or if I did , I know in my heart of hearts that I would never look at him the same way because I would always think of him with 'her'. I don't want to sound like a prophet of doom but if you are thinking of turning a fantasy into reality , then i think that you are sailing into dangerous waters. Obviously I don't know you or anything about your relationship or this other man - only you do but I would think about whether your relationship is maybe just going through a bad patch and in need of a lift or whether it has run it's course and it's time to call it a day. If you do decide to walk away , I would make sure that you have really thought it through and that you can be sure that your feelings are reciprocated. Does the other man feel the same way ? Either way , this is a warning sign. If you have strong feelings for someone else. Something is obviously wrong but the question is , do you stay with your current relationship or walk away ? Only you know the answer to that x

[chainfire]

How can you not look, with the exception of poking out your eyes. As long as it doesn't go any further, its just a natural instinct.

[jiggy-gb]

So long as you don't mind your partner doing it too it's not a problem. Only if it's a one-sided deal should there be any issues. Gawp away!

[tradey]

its only natural,course we look,i love my man very much and he loves me but we still look at other people theres nothing wrong with it at all as long as you dont touch

[Octavius]

This q has taken a slight turn since my original answer.

If as said above this is something you really want to pursue then you either need to find out what is wrong with your current relationship and try to repair it, or end it and move on to the new object of desire. Personally, I don't agree with being unfaithful as someone will always end up getting hurt.

If it is just a curious fascination and harmless (i.e. won't go any further) then it shouldn't be an issue. My wife talks about some of my mates who are really attractive to her and vice versa, but we have a lot of trust in each other so it just becomes a bit of a laugh really.