Need some advice.

[lilminx]

Hi I am not sure if this is the correct place to put this but I have a strange problem. My Mum died not that long ago and I was very upset but it is only now that I have found a really big problem. My Mum used to but my tampons every month on her trip to the supermarket and put them in the bathroom but now that she has gone my Dad does not think of buying any.I do not feel able to ask him to but them for obvious reasons but I need them.At the moment I have been using toilet paper but I feel uncomfortable and uneasy.What do you think I should do?

[stylinsam]

cant you ask your dad for a bit of money and get them for yourself its not embarrassing once youve done it once im sure the cashiers see girls buying tampons evryday ! or have you got a nan or an auntie or a friends mum to get them for u! sorry to hear about your mum x :o)

[redcrx]

Im sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It must be very hard on both you and your dad. Your dad will be trying to do everything that your mum did but obviously tampons will not be on his list of priorities. If you find that you cant ask him to put them on the shopping list then perhaps you could go and buy your own, ask him for pocket money or something

[Alixw]

Can you not go out and buy them yourself? Or if you really can't do that yourself can a friend get them for you?

[lilminx]

I would buy them myself but have absolutely no money.We are poor so I do not get any pocket money.I am very protected and am not allowed out with my friends after school.I could always say I was going for a walk and buy them then.I am thinking of getting a job to help pay for some things that I need.

[redcrx]

what female relatives do you have supporting you and your dad?

[atolhurst]

I had this exact problem, though my mum didn't die; my parents split up.

After it became apparent that he wasn't going to think to buy them, I ripped the front off an empty box (so he knew exactly which ones to get) and handed it to him just before I went out one day with a note saying "don't mean to embarrass you but I need some of these next time you're at the supermarket".

Giving him a note was easier than talking to him about it because it isembarrassing talking about periods at that age, with a man. In hindsight however, men aren't stupid - they know periods happen. He just needs reminding that they happen to you

In the mean time, don't use toilet paper as it'll just make you feel uncomfortable. Ask a friend to lend you some, or buy them out of a machine in the school toilets. or if you have a school nurse, they'll probably keep some you can have for free. Or perhaps go to the shop yourself.

[czechlesbian]

O.k here it goes.
Find a job
On your way to work go into the supermarket
Don't just buy tampons on their own it is too embarrasing get a magazine and some sweets to and buy the biggest pack so that you do not have to go as often

Use the money you have made to buy the stuff
Ask for a jewellary box with a lock for your birthday/Christmas depending whatever is first
Hide the tampons in the jewellery box .

P.s this is coming from someone who has been in a similar situation.When Mum had her menopause she forgot all about tampons and I had to buy them myself for 6 years! You are not alone.

[redcrx]

If you usually have tampax in the bathroom then you wont need to buy a box to hide them in. And perhaps then your dad maybe realise and remember to add them to shopping list.
I think atolhurst has come up with the best idea so far as its means you dont have to discuss it with your dad. If hes as protective as you say it will be easier than finding a job too maybe

[whiffey]

Next time he goes shopping, go with him and just put them in the trolley yourself. Nobody will bat an eyelid honest.

[lilminx]

I am not sure I could hand him the packet.My face went red just thinking of that!We do have a school nurse actually she is very nice but that does not help me for the 8 weeks that I am now on holiday.Czechlesbain had a good idea.You see once I buy them I will have to hide them as my Dad will see them and I will die of emmbarrasement.I already have a jewellery box with a lock actually so that is a very good idea.I can hide them in there.I cannot believe I am even thinking of doing that.It sounds crazy! Thanks for your help guys!

[rom]

good luck ! awww everyone has been so nice on this thread !

xx

[redcrx]

You will have to buy them for yourself oneday so you will get over your embarassment.

[czechlesbian]

I know isn't it nice everyone getting along on here.I am very impressed with my councilling skills I must say.You see I CAN be nice.Sorry lilminx I have hijacked your thread!

[atolhurst]

Poppet, I understand your perspective but periods really are are a fact of life. Your mum will have had them and because of that, your dad will have been fully aware of them happening. Did you hide your tampons when your mum bought them?

Given you're on holiday and can't ask the nurse, ask a friend. Or go to lil-lets.co.uk who send them out free. Tampax.co.uk probably would too.

Going forward, I would do as whiffey says and to the supermarket with your dad and just pop them in the trolley. Your face might go red at the time but your dad will totally understand. In the grand scheme of things, he'd rather you had periods than not because if you didn't, it might mean you're pregnant. And imagine the embarrassment if he had to ask you that?!?!?

[~Wingnut~]

The first time will probably be really embaressing (putting them in the trolley), but get it out of the way and don't make a big deal about it.
Could you go off and get a few items (inc Tampons) and put them in the trolley with a load of other things? Then at the checkout nip to the loo before they go thru the till and your Dad picks them up to put in the carrier bag?

Once it's out of the way, I'm sure it will seem less embaressing the next time. I don't really care about it now but back when I first started my periods (and for a good few years after) it does feel embaressing.
I remember my Dad picking up my pack of "Always" (he was clearing out my cupboard) and looking at me with a smile I went red like a beetroot!! Now I have them chucked about all over the place! lol

[andy-hughes]

Iused to work on the check-out in my parents' grocery store in my teens, well before people were as enlightenad about such matters as they are now, and a lot of ladies and girls were embarassed by me serving them with towels or tampons. To be honest, it meant no more to me than if they were buying tea or coffee - it's just an item that we sold in the shop - and that's the attitude you will find from the cashier in your local shop - if you are really worried, it won;t be hard to find one with a lady serving.

Why not tell your dad that you need some deoderant, shampoo, things like that, and you;d like to choose your own now that you are growing up. Add in the cost of the tampons, and ask him for the money - that saves any embarassment all round.

So sorry you have this problem, it's dreadful to loose your mum, and then have this to deal with.

Love, A xx