Bored..

[spk]

Im a bit bored, anybody want to entertain me? I have stars to offer ! :O)

[~posy~]

i crooning kelly clarkson at the top of my voice for you!! any good??

hang on i think i got the neighbourhoods cats in the garden wailing!! wonder what they're after?!?!?!?!? lol!!!

[spk]

rofl ! You get 3 stars and a partridge in a pear tree for that! xxx

[dot.hawkes]

the worst country and western songs ever:
1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
2. Get Your Tongue Otta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
3. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
4. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
5. I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me
6. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
7. I Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2.
8. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
9. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car
Don't Run, So I figure We Got An Even Deal
10. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
11. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
12. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
13. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
14. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
15. I'm So miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
16. I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over
you
17. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
18. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
19. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
20. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Love Rovers
21. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
22. Please Bypass this Heart
23. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
24. You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[spk]

Excellent effort Dot- 3 stars and a bunch of daffodils for you ! xxx

[mccfluff]

play with george he always amuses me

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

[spk]

Whos next- I have a happy meal to offer now.. with a boys toy

[spk]

good stuff Mcfluff- shame we cant shoot him. Are you happy with the happy meal or would you like the cuddly toy? xxx

[petes_dragon]

my mate wrote this poem about work today - might not mean much to you but it really amused me!!

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died or so it seemed,
Then I went to heaven
But only in my dream

Up there St Peter met me
Standing at the pearly gates,
He said "I must check your record
Please stand here and wait."

He turned and said "Your record
Is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied
For every losing cause."

I see that you drank alcohol
And smoked and used drugs too,
Fact is, you've done everything
A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here
Your life was full of sin,
Then he read the last of my record
Took my hand and said "Come in."

He lead me up to the big boss and said
"Take him in and treat him well",
He used to work for BT,
He's done his time in hell!!!!

A xXx

[spk]

Thanks petes dragon- thats really good ! You can have a box of ferrero roches ! xxx

[mccfluff]

can't i have both if not then the toy, it will give me something to play with this afternoon x

are you still in vietnam and have you been to see the tunnels yet?

[dot.hawkes]

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought................

I don't f**king think so.

[petes_dragon]

ooooh cheers my favourites!!

if you like quizzes, someone recommended this the other day - it'll keep you busy for a while!!

www.quizardry.com

A xXx

[spk]

ahh ok you can have both seeing as its you Mccfluff ! The toy is a good one it makes noises and all. Didnt get to the tunnels unfortunately :O( Are they any good? Vietnam is still complete bedlam. Leave tomorrow for Cambodia not excpecting that to be any more relaxed ! xx

[spk]

Classic Dot- your prize has had a bottle of Lanson champagne added to it ! Thanks for that petes dragon ! Will play with that later! And you get a nice bottle of Vino to go with your chocs ! Im off now folks- have a great Tuesday big smooches xxx

[dot.hawkes]

Q: Whats the only exercise men get?
A: Sucking in their stomaches when a bikini walks by.

Q: How do you force a man to do situps?
A: Put the remote between his toes.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this" and he made woman.

[mccfluff]

LOL no i've not been but i have friends who went down they, awesome apparently, have fun in cambodia take care x

[petes_dragon]

A Woman:

Take off clothes and place them in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

[petes_dragon]

A Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife/girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife/girlfriend, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

[dot.hawkes]

it's that hidden camera moment agian lol

[stylinsam]

haha petes dragon that cheered me up !!lol