this is not an answer to your question, but i know how you feel. When my sister fell pregnant 3 years ago i felt so jealous i couldn't even speak to her for a bit! i really love my sister and i was so surprised by those feelings i had, and felt like a real bitch, but i just couldn't help it at all. I have no idea where those feelings came from because at the time i had no conscious desire to be pregnant myself. I think looking back rationally, there was nothing i could have done to change tose feelings, and still now, i get slightly jealous when i think that my parents first grandchild will always be from her!