Funny excuses????

[Neenee]

what are your favourite, funniest, excuses you have used or given for not turning up somewhere on time????

mine was , my car broke down and had to get a bus to work..... but then forgot by the end of the day, and offered my boss a lift home , when my car was supposedly in the garage being fixed!!! OOOpps!!

[missyR]

LOL
mine is very similar to yours lol. I said to my mate i couldn't get to her sisters party (long story lol) because my mam couldn't drive and her sister lived about 25 miles away. I was having a party about a month later and the same girl couldn't get to my party but i wanted her to come and my mam said it was ok for her to pick my mate up so i told her n she was like but i thoght your mam couldn't drive?
R xx

[turboped]

Not mine but when someone in my class at school was late a teacher asked 'where have you been' to which the lad replied ' to get a new bum the old one had a hole in it'.

[laurence2]

me and my wife fancied a day out one day, so to get out of work, i rang my boss up and said we had been burgled, he rang me back 5 mintues later and gave me the rest of the week of on full pay {it was tuesday by the way} and sent my wife the biggest bunch of flowers i,ve ever seen with a card saying how sorry the were for the both of us

How do i sleep at night lol

[mccfluff]

i couldn't go in as i'd dropped my glasses in the swimming pool skinny dipping the night before and couldn't see, sad thing was its true

[naz_nomad]

I can't make it tonight, I'm changing my calendar from Julian to Gregorian

[IggyB]

i can't come into work today my stigmata are playing up

[joko]

these are true - i once got stuck in the vestibule as i locked the inner door behind me and then realised i didn't have my other keys for the main door - my dad had to post spares through the letter box, i then discovered that even though i could open the door i couldn't get round it because there wasn't enough space to squeeze through.
had to uncrew the clasp on the inner door in the end! Doh!

i also had the freezer defrost overnight and had water all over the floor

and also had a minor flood because the pipe under the sink came loose and i didn't realise until i was standing in a large puddle of water

[gherkinfiend]

ooh, now i have some amusing fake excuses...but the one that has come back to haunt me for years, is the time the trousers i intended to wear to work weren't dry in time, so i had to wear a pencil skirt instead.
unfortunately i had a 15 minute walk from the tube, and discovered that you really can't move too fast in a tight skirt, so when my boss phoned to ask where the hell i was, i explained i was late because i hadn't realised i couldn't walk as quickly as normal in a skirt...

i was ridiculed so much about this excuse, i quite honestly haven't worn a skirt since...oh and i eventually got fired from the job for poor timekeeping!