Trying to get on track

[steve208]

Ok well I am a bit more sorted in my head with some things, so i want to get on with some things now. But I am worried.

I am trying to do some job applications and worry that there is no point in me coming up with great words in the application if they think I dont have the experience. I am obviously not selecting adverts that ask for more experience than i have but i feel they will see my relevant experience is from a good six months ago.

I have the skills but not the confidence to believe enough to say it at the moment and yes I know its strange but in a way i am afraid i could succeed and get an interview.

[Lore]

What if you do succeed?
What if you do get the interview?
What if...... you sail through the interview??????

What if you're exactly what they need?
What if the position you're aiming for is the start of something great in your life?
What if it's meant to be?

There are so many reasons to go for it and only one reason not to - that being the fear of not being enough.

Steve, go for it... please!!

[ugly_bob]

Yeah, seriously. Go for it. I know it's daunting applying for jobs, and the interviews can be scary as hell, but it's a necessary evil, and like Lore says, just because they don't describe you to a tee in the advert, doesn't mean you're not what they're looking for.

[crete]

good to hear you feel more sorted you can only do your best good luck

[steve208]

ok then. Sorry to get on here a lot but you guys are good.

Its so hard to be positive. I am thinking i will make this my one thing though and not worry about progress on anything else. I will put a concerted effort into job applications and hope it works then i will have confidence to do other things.

I will get my room tidy go for a walk then get on in earnest....i need tidyness to work!

[crete]

excellent you sound really positive remember small steps

[steve208]

Well maybe if i do one application i wil go down the swimming pool again later.

I went to the pool tuesday eve and last night again, did 60 lengths last night! very worn out but hopefully getting fitter!

[Lore]

Just keep moving forward Steve, it's obvious you've given it a lot of thought and have come to the decision to do something about it.
That's the biggest step ... just keep taking small steps and if it all feels a bit too much, pop back here and we'll give you another kick in the right direction.

remember.. A problem shared.... lickety split, lickety split, lickety split!!!

:o)

[steve208]

thanks lore.

just wondering....how long have you been on AB i have not seen you on here until the last few weeks. I myself have been on here for a few months now. will drop by later wghen i have done the application!

[Lore]

I first joined this site in July 2005 - I do pop in quite a bit, but this time of year is the time for me to do some serious answerbanking!! Once the summer ends and I'm back at work you'll not see me around so much. (Sept 4th)

[Amara]

steve - try a book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and do it anyway"

[steve208]

Thanks amara. I have that book on my bedside table at the moment and find it very useful indeed.!

[angeldraws]

@Amara - that book is my bible - it helped me toget back on track several years ago and i still use it - i recommend it to anyone & everyone

@steve208 - have ya thought about doin some volutnary work n thus 'proving' your skills and abilities??? Thats a good sstart - or even temping - my best jobs have come thru agencies as they have more confidence in me than i ever had in myself n now i have a great job, doin wot i wanna do- flexi time, it's great n boosts ya confidence alot.....give it a go

[angeldraws]

also - if you try to remember that interviewers only give a maximum of 10 mins per CV or application form and they cannot memorize everything you write in them, so basically your job is to 'remind' them of wot they av read - your interview is to 'back up' your application or CV - a second interview is to back-up a first....try to interview them too. one question i always ask is 'What wud you or your colleagues say was the worst part of this job?' - this shows that you have actually visuallised yourself doin the job and thought it thru thoroughly (even if you havent!!) - also try - "can you run me thru a typical day in the post?'
Hope this helps... good luck

[CLOWN TICKLE]

im in the same boat, keep going

[steve208]

Well angel, thank you.

I do have some admin experience and will try to go back for a few days a week whilst i continue my part time shop job!

As it happens got an email from the charity today kinda fishing for help so thats good as i dont have to rev myself up so much on the prospect they might not need anyone!

I am not very enthusiastic about agencies and am trying to get the courage to email one that i signed up with to say am going back to do charity work.

Was saying on here the other day that i feel bad contacting agencey, but suppose its better for me to say been asked to help at the charity. Rather than saying the agencey cannot find what i want which is an "ethical" job.

The charity work will def boast my confidence and after thinking about what the agencey can offer i think i would be somewhat lost in a customer serivice role. In the sense that I would not be inwardly motivated to do my very best.

[Amara]

steve - can I ask you a question - why are you plucking up the courage to tell the agency that you are going elsewhere? I am not criticising in any way, I don't really know your history totally and I am just genuinly interested?

[steve208]

You are saying i should not need to pluck up courage to do it ....OR that i should try to find a job with them?

Bit of background...

- I have a part time job at the moment but do more hours sometimes doing full time (45hrs a week)

-I signed up with the agencey in may and got an interview for a job at the start of june. I didnt get this job and part of the reason for this was that i had already commited to doing some hours at my current job and they wanted someone avliable straight away not wanting to wait for me to work my one week notice period.

-After failing to get this job i realised that 99% of the jobs agencies have will revolve around business or customer service. Although I could do this i would not be happy inside my self doing this.

- I feel doing some more work in the local charity office where i have been before will give me more relevent skills for the charity field.

- I have an interview for a well paid civil service job in two weeks time so even if i were to want work i would rather find it myself especially now i am growing in positivness and confidence. It feels out of my control using an agencey etc.

Sorry i know it seems that i am running away from a possible job but i feel when i went for the interview the agencey set up i saw the customer care environment and didnt like it!

The agencey were looking for temp work for me and i was scared that i would quit my current reliable job to take on a short placement then when the temp job finished i would be stranded with bills to pay etc.

[Amara]

Thanks for the background - Sorry if I didn't phrase my question very clearly, what I meant was why do you find it difficult to tell them? You are obviously working on your assertiveness and confidence skills, but are you aware of where this fear comes from?

[steve208]

erm yes i am aware.

just off to the pool for a swim so will post more detail when i get back. I finished the job application earlier and may try to do more later or tommorow. Set myself target of one per day which is not much but its better than doing none if i set a target of say 6 a day. Targets have to be achieveable, so i will do this for a week then up the target to two par day if i am beating the target each day thats good but its there as a minimum.

i think its better to ahcieve a little than fail to do a lot just because i feel i cant do one so give up as the target is 6.

anyway gota go. Thanks for all your help.

[steve208]

Hi amara,

I hope you might check back here see if i have answered. i dont know but anyway will jot down the reasons. (btw swim was good managed another 60 lengths!)

ok what do i fear? well i suppose in some ways i fear being scared its outside my comfort zone. And i have always been somewhat of a shrinking violet and think i will get into trouble for anything.

The fact is i know i wont but at a young age dad always shouted a lot and i was bullied at school so had very little chance to become what i know i can be. I have mainly avoided confrontation and dont like to upset people.

I always air on the side of the negative not being brave enough to assert myself. I suppose i have to say to myself what is the worst that could happen before i confront a situation. But i would then tend to think of what that worst thing is and know it will happen and so not face the fear.

I dont like trying to identify where things come from as i dont like to remember my early years. I feel they were very painful, i am getting counselling once a week and find this helps to work things through.

Thank you for reading my long replies and hope i am not being a pain.