terrible meal times with two and half year old!!

[nanny dawn]

Our two and a half year old granddaughter plays up something awful at meal times.

She wont sit still, wont eat her meals and generrally messes about. This happens at home and when they are all having a meal at our house.

Tonight ended up with her screaming and me in tears because she was so upset.

how can we encourage her to 'behave'?

[tiggeralix]

Hi
i have similar problems with my 2 year old and i was advised to speak to my health visitor.
Some tips that i did find helpful was:
- gentle encouragement is always good - clapping when she has had a mouthful and such forth,
and definately no pudding if she doesnt eat her tea
-instigate a naughty step
-- warning, then naughty step, then she apologises, sits back at the table - if that doesnt work will be straight to bed without any tea. a couple of times of this she will realise that you are serious and she will not starve herself either.
i generally have tea between 5-5.30 so my daughter isnt allowed any snacks or squash (just water) after 2.30-3 - i have found if my daughter is also taken to the park and is running around and generally kept active those few hours before tea she will wolf it down

i also noticed the more frustrated i got the more my daughter wouldnt eat. i know its hard and generally upsetting but its a case of sticking to your guns and trying diffferent foods ( making clowns faces out of the veg and sausages is always good fun for them

Hope this helps and good luck

[lady_p_gold]

Try to ignore any bad behaviour and reward the good perhaps with a sticker chart or something. If she doesn't eat do not be tempted to give her things later on and just clear it away without fuss. The more you get anxious the worse it will get.

[wildsheep]

A couple of suggestions that may be worth trying.

At two and a half your graddaughter is probably old enough to help prepare some simple dishes. We always found that if our kids helped make the food they were far more likely to sit and eat it, especially if all the family had to eat their concoction as well.

Another thing to try is similar to the reward technique but actually uses the food itself. Prepare 5 or 6 items of food and arrange them in a line on a plate. These should start with something healthy and end with a real treat. The game is to eat the items in order to qualify for the treat.

So, for example the meal could be:

small ham sandwich with the crusts cut off

then

a couple of tomatoes

then

some cubes of cheese

then

carrot sticks

then

a small pile of crisps

then

a biscuit or piece of chocolate

The bulk of the meal is healthy and the game could keep the kid amused for a while.

Worth a try anyway.

[noxlumos]

I'm sorry to disagree strongly with anyone but the whole no pudding if she hasn't eaten her tea thing and punishments is a very negative idea and will only re-inforce her bad behaviour and cause food to be a real sticking point for years to come.
You need to just relax completely about it. Don't try to make her do anything where there will be a mighty clash of wills about food.As widlsheep says we always made eating happy and fun and have never had any problems like this whatsoever because on the rare occasions that one of the kids chose to make an incident out of eating they were ignored and so the situation was not escalated.
Finger food is good at that age and again letting them lay the table or help prepare something is excellent. Please don't start punishing anything to do with eating as it can have some very harmful psychological effects in later life and makes eating a misery for the kid, just stay relaxed and happy and it will all come together itself eventually.
Good luck.

[andy-hughes]

Aaaah, meal times! Is there a child alive who has not discovered that this is a time to press those buttons and wait for mum and dad to go bang!

All children at this age are exploring their boundaries, and they exploit, on a subliminal level, your fear as a parent that if they don;t eat, they will be hungry. Once they realise that they can get away with a lot because you are panicing, it's escalation time!

The advice to relax is sound, as is the involvement strategy.

Try not to worry, children are survivors, she won't push things so far that she misses her tea!

[lynlockwood]

my first is 8 and my second is 9 months. I'd forgotten about that terrible 2s when meal times can be awful! But I think relaxing and not making it into a battle has to be the key however hard it may seem. Ignore bad behaviour and really praise any mouthful/sitting still/staying please etc. Good luck!

[Hamish]

Our eldest is generally a v good eater, but sometimes has his moments. If he messes about with his ffod we take this as a sign he doesnt want it and remove it - generally he asks for it back and behaves. No pud if he doesnt eat the main - he will generally finnish his main then and if not, he'll be full and not need more. my sisterinlaw is lest strict and has more problems.... but then every child is different. No 2 is currenly 6weeks so see you back here in 12 mths with the same question!

[nanny dawn]

Thanks for all your help and suggestions!

I cant remember having these problems with my own two but that was 20 years ago!! LOL

Funny enough before we put any of these ideas into place we had tea tonight and she was great! the only thing we did different was that I dished it up on a 'proper' plate like ours so she could be a good girl!

Fingers crossed folks!

[monkeemayhem]

hello nanny dawn, just wanted to add that my little boy (who's two) went through a stage of this and we changed his meal time in the evening, we used to feed him at 7.00pm with us but he wouldn't eat a thing and would just play with it. Then we changed his meal to 5pm and he now gobbles up his food, don't know what time you feed your grandaughter but just thought i'd share my thoughts!