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Domestic abuse...
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What, to you, constitutes domestic abuse?
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Ratter, you deserve all the love in the world. Glad you've finally found it! I know what it is like to be both mentally and physically abused and it often starts very gradually, with one person manipulating the other into situations he or she is not entirely comfortable with. One partner putting the other down in front of the children, or making a mockery of them in front of the children can be considered mental abuse. Belittling your partner, raising your voice in a threatening way, being 'in your face' ... this is where respect dies and mental abuse starts. I think the first mistake I made, as a young woman, was not making myself heard the first time it happened. I should have said ... "listen, I don't like you doing that, so kindly don't!" Perhaps it would have prevented what then developed. But victims often work their way into believing it is solely their fault, especially when the abuser tells them it is. Once fear has set in in a relationship, things can only go from bad to worse!
My mum was a victim of domestic abuse from my father, he would go out get p***ed up and take out his frustrations on my poor mum and sometimes us.
I used to ask my mum, why did you put up with it for 16 years? She said well when you have no close family and 5 kids where do you go? the police didnt want to know, theyd take him away and lock him up for the night then send him homethe next day which was usually after another visit to the pub.
She did get lucky and met my now step-father and took the courage to leave him,
My dad now has a new family with a woman 20 years younger than himself and 2 more daughters who are 1 and 3, I dont know her or speak to him any more she wants to know why his 5 other children wont have anything to do with him, I should tell her but I know he still drinks and it could make it worse for her, I just hope those little girlsdont go through what we had to.
The mental scars of it all never heal, I have the most loving bloke in the world but I still put my barriers up, and probably always will, my mums the same.
I used to ask my mum, why did you put up with it for 16 years? She said well when you have no close family and 5 kids where do you go? the police didnt want to know, theyd take him away and lock him up for the night then send him homethe next day which was usually after another visit to the pub.
She did get lucky and met my now step-father and took the courage to leave him,
My dad now has a new family with a woman 20 years younger than himself and 2 more daughters who are 1 and 3, I dont know her or speak to him any more she wants to know why his 5 other children wont have anything to do with him, I should tell her but I know he still drinks and it could make it worse for her, I just hope those little girlsdont go through what we had to.
The mental scars of it all never heal, I have the most loving bloke in the world but I still put my barriers up, and probably always will, my mums the same.
